book one redone - Coldbacon

news/headlines.html
6/5/05 U.S. Warns Luxembourg to Get Its Shit Together. (Yahoo)
1/17/05 Putin Firm Despite Bush’s Worries. (Yahoo)
1/15/05 Bush Seeks End to Tyranny. Will Step Down Next Week. (CNN)
1/11/05 CIA Says Grinch Stole Christmas. “It’s a slam dunk!” (Yahoo)
9/14/02 Bush Urges UN To “Show some backbone.” U.S. Has To Show
Some Leg First. (Yahoo)
4/16/02 U.S. Denies Ties to Venezuela Coup. Also Denies Ties to Next
Week’s Coup in Argentina. (Yahoo)
12/15/02 Source of Amazon River Pinpointed. Republicans Ready Bill To
Destroy It. (Yahoo)
2/14/02 Bush Unveils Plan to Accelerate Global Warming, Dubbed “2010
By 2010.” (Yahoo)
3/02/02 U.S. Bombs Afghan Mountains. God Says He Can Make More.
(Yahoo)
12/28/01 U.S. Says China Can Have Its Damn Pandas Back. (Yahoo)
11/3/01 Bush Urges Calm on Anthrax. Will Meet with Mosquitoes Next
Week. (Yahoo)
10/28/01 Iraqi Prime Minister Calls Claims They Are Producing Anthrax
Ridiculous. “Shit, We Had That Ten Years Ago.” (Reuters)
10/25/01 Anthrax Sent to Daschle Was Pure. (Yahoo)
3/23/01 Russia Expels Fifty U.S. Diplomats. U.S. To Counter By
Expelling All People Whose Names Begin with the Letter Y. (Yahoo)
39