book one redone - Coldbacon

Recommendations

Info

unless he was just kidding when he played Jim Crowe on my knee, with a fully black paddy wagon throw away the key. Like Eminem, he was merely trying to generate healthy discussion. Look, if I were against masturbation, and my job made me do things to protect those who gave glory to it, I would look for another job. Unless, of course, it paid a hell of a lot, in which case, I would look for the Vaseline. I am a Republican, so whenever I can’t decide whether to put jam or cinnamon on my hot-buttered toast, I think “What would John Ashcroft do?” Not John Ashcroft, civil rights advocate gourmet, but John Ashcroft, attorney general gourmet. Because I know he would make that choice with integrity. He would never let personal preference enter into such a serious decision. That’s the kind of man I want for breakfast. Oh nix the toast, I’ll just have a scotch. I’m a Republican, you know. I can do that. I am a Democrat, so I think we should put a tax on both butter and jam. Then we can use it to start a program to help people with their toast problem. It’s an outrage that ninety-five percent of the toast in America is concentrated in five percent of the toasters. I want to know, “Where are those toasters and what is John Ashcroft going to do about it?” Oh, forget it. [finger on intercom button] Ms. Stevens, could you please hold all my calls? [wondering aloud] Now where’s that blow job I ordered? 54
From: Dave Eggers To: Me Date: Sat, 27 Jul 2002 13:27:54 Subject: your essay Has this piece been published before elsewhere? Dave 55
Page 3 and 4: Till human voices wake us 3
Page 5: index.html 5
Page 8 and 9: Every self-published internet autho
Page 10 and 11: feedback/colleen.html From: Colleen
Page 12 and 13: feedback/laura.html Subject: Please
Page 14: poems/love.html My name is, I forge
Page 18 and 19: mcbone.html Dear Joe et al, I canno
Page 20 and 21: Sharks If you’re ever attacked by
Page 22 and 23: ENLARGE YOUR FAVORITE Dear Sir or M
Page 24 and 25: When one toaster cycle isn’t enou
Page 26 and 27: http://search.aol.com/dirsearch.que
Page 28 and 29: ...or perhaps find a deal on... htt
Page 30 and 31: Milk and Honey You’ve heard it a
Page 32 and 33: original.html List of people astute
Page 34: sea foam head hunter I am a race ca
Page 37 and 38: I’ve always dreamed of a vampire
Page 39 and 40: news/headlines.html 6/5/05 U.S. War
Page 42 and 43: writing/stormdrain.html The followi
Page 44 and 45: 9/19/02 Tropical Storm Isidore Head
Page 46 and 47: Because of email, the quality of my
Page 48: http://search.dogpile.com/texis/sea
Page 51: http://aolsearch.aol.com/dirsearch.
Page 56 and 57: From: Dave Eggers To: Me Date: Sun,
Page 58 and 59: Blend: To mix two or more ingredien
Page 61 and 62: germanwines.html “Big reds,” I
Page 63 and 64: Hotmail Daemon: 1 person wants to e
Page 65 and 66: Poison Control “Hello, you have r
Page 67 and 68: ColdBacon: no ColdBacon: doesn’t
Page 69: That’s the moment you’ll find G
Page 73 and 74: ugs.html Remember when you were a k
Page 75 and 76: theendofanera.html You may have not
Page 77: eally used a picture. And I thought
Page 80 and 81: monitors.html From a Review of Moni
Page 82 and 83: that looked just like—oh my—wai
Page 84 and 85: glib \ ‘glib \ adj glib-ber; glib
Page 86 and 87: movies/personalvelocity.html Person
Page 88 and 89: movies/wesanderson.html Interview w
Page 90 and 91: WA: Umm. CB: Are you saying umm or
Page 92 and 93: movies/mysticmasseur.html Mystic Ma
Page 94 and 95: movies/blackhawkdown.html Blackhawk
Page 96 and 97: eal and credible as—nothing, or a
Page 98 and 99: October 30, 2003 My therapist says
Page 100 and 101: Someone has left your mailing list!
Page 102 and 103: If No, then it’s because 1. Meeti
Page 104 and 105:
From: Sarita Date: Thursday, July 1
Page 106 and 107:
hello there fellow webmaster! I enj
Page 108 and 109:
From: Stump7350@aol.com Date: Wedne
Page 110 and 111:
5/27/01 ‘Pearl Harbor’ misses r
Page 112 and 113:
Scarface when they visit the palati
Page 114 and 115:
From: Al Shehorn To: Cold Bacon Van
Page 116 and 117:
6/23/60 Italian Film Crew Distracte
Page 118 and 119:
sort of blueish-gray color.” Whet
Page 120 and 121:
movies/openlettertocriterion.html D
Page 122 and 123:
One of Kubrick’s themes (yes, onl
Page 124 and 125:
124
Page 126 and 127:
Jump to new posts » Hello, Cold Ba
Page 128 and 129:
movies/ran.html Ran (1985) Akira Ku
Page 130 and 131:
movies/starshiptroopers.html Starsh
Page 132 and 133:
From: PaGaLiDeEwAnI4ya*at*aol.com T
Page 134 and 135:
movies/mirror.html Mirror (1974) An
Page 136 and 137:
movies/unknownpleasures.html Unknow
Page 138 and 139:
hi. i'm a reporter at the baltimore
Page 140 and 141:
From: Sarah Gordon Subject: i looke
Page 142 and 143:
142 Kris: “Do you know yourself?
Page 144 and 145:
144 Courtney Love passed away this
Page 146 and 147:
From: Michael S. Tilley To: Cold Ba
Page 148 and 149:
148 “Nominally a reserved people,
Page 150 and 151:
argument. And I’m not reading it
Page 152 and 153:
Now Lane’s Jack Nicholson-versus-
Page 154 and 155:
From: Carrie McLaren@stayfree.org D
Page 156 and 157:
those who may be feeling a bit, sha
Page 158 and 159:
you know exactly what i'm asking an
Page 160 and 161:
standupcomedy.html You can find you
Page 162 and 163:
From: babiewitch@aol.com Date: wedn
Page 164 and 165:
my romantic plea (to a girl who’s
Page 166 and 167:
your head look so pretty [Most Rece
Page 168 and 169:
Tuesday, June 15th, 2004 3:59 pm Li
Page 170 and 171:
Sunday, April 17th, 2005 4:41 pm Go
Page 172 and 173:
No steady stream of commercials to
Page 174 and 175:
dearlaura.html The following letter
Page 176 and 177:
nofriends.html Point Lately, I’ve
Page 178 and 179:
178
Page 180 and 181:
From: Kirsty Date: Thursday, March
Page 182:
Hi Bacon, Sure, we’d be able to p
show all

book one redone - Coldbacon

You also want an ePaper? Increase the reach of your titles

Delete template?

Save as template?