book one redone - Coldbacon

food/cookingterms.html
The next generation of great writers will need to fork over traditional
prose in favor of cooking terms. “He walked through the crowd” will
become “he sifted through the crowd” or even “she stir-fried her way
between the hot peppers and leering meat at El Ray de Cabrito a-Go-Go.”
Conventional plot elements must give way to more modern epicurean
concepts. Romantic buildup is a slow marinade—character development,
a thorough deglazing. “They hung out and ate avocados and turned the
living room into a big bed.”
Baste
She basted me with science.
Boil
She boiled me, like a potato.
Broil
She broiled me like—a different potato. Don’t miss Derek Jacobi’s epic
performance in I Potato. Nominated for five Caesar salads.
Leaven
She leavened me like I was her only bagel dough.
Poach
She poached me in her love syrup.
Here are some more cooking terms to help you stave off that
writing course another year.
Age: To control a food’s aging process to improve its texture, flavor or
both.
Rot: too much age.
57