book one redone - Coldbacon
book one redone - Coldbacon book one redone - Coldbacon
Fox Frog Jumpsville on it, and I’ll personally hand Judy Groth fifty bucks. For pure phonetical pleasure, we start with Urziger Wurzgarten and Freinsheimer Goldberg Scheurebe. 1 And who could forget the Randersacker Marsberg or the Forster Kirchenstuck (named for a famous logging accident)? Or maybe you got a bad case of the Flemlinger Vogelsprung this winter? And then there’s the real abbreviation fodder, Braunenberger Juffer Sonnenuhr. Don’t even get me started on the individual producers. What makes you sound more dangerous? Packing an air-cooled Rudesheimer Berg Rottland from Gebruder Grimm? Or a cabaret from Robert Mondavi? You can hold an entire dinner party at bay by threatening to uncork an Oppenheimer Kreuz. Now try that with a petite syrah. German Rieslings are great and practically every other vintage is the best one of the last two years. These wines are delicious and crisp for drinking now, and many can develop into quite complex petrochemicals. Forget about cheap Chardonnay and other crimes against humanity. German wines are also less alcoholic, so you can have a glass and still be able to think about something other than sex afterwards. 2 And they go great with Asian food because they were roommates with Mao Tze Tung their freshman year of college. What more do you need to know? Now get out there and start drinking German wine. 1 I’ve since been informed this is actually a grape, Scheurebe, and not a place. Anyway, other German words worth saying aloud include gegenhalten, doppelgänger, mettelschmerz, glockenspiel. 2 Concept still investigational. 62
Hotmail Daemon: 1 person wants to exchange instant messages with you—download MSN Messenger Well, let me know when that number gets to about 6. 63
- Page 12 and 13: feedback/laura.html Subject: Please
- Page 14: poems/love.html My name is, I forge
- Page 18 and 19: mcbone.html Dear Joe et al, I canno
- Page 20 and 21: Sharks If you’re ever attacked by
- Page 22 and 23: ENLARGE YOUR FAVORITE Dear Sir or M
- Page 24 and 25: When one toaster cycle isn’t enou
- Page 26 and 27: http://search.aol.com/dirsearch.que
- Page 28 and 29: ...or perhaps find a deal on... htt
- Page 30 and 31: Milk and Honey You’ve heard it a
- Page 32 and 33: original.html List of people astute
- Page 34: sea foam head hunter I am a race ca
- Page 37 and 38: I’ve always dreamed of a vampire
- Page 39 and 40: news/headlines.html 6/5/05 U.S. War
- Page 42 and 43: writing/stormdrain.html The followi
- Page 44 and 45: 9/19/02 Tropical Storm Isidore Head
- Page 46 and 47: Because of email, the quality of my
- Page 48: http://search.dogpile.com/texis/sea
- Page 51: http://aolsearch.aol.com/dirsearch.
- Page 54 and 55: unless he was just kidding when he
- Page 56 and 57: From: Dave Eggers To: Me Date: Sun,
- Page 58 and 59: Blend: To mix two or more ingredien
- Page 61: germanwines.html “Big reds,” I
- Page 65 and 66: Poison Control “Hello, you have r
- Page 67 and 68: ColdBacon: no ColdBacon: doesn’t
- Page 69: That’s the moment you’ll find G
- Page 73 and 74: ugs.html Remember when you were a k
- Page 75 and 76: theendofanera.html You may have not
- Page 77: eally used a picture. And I thought
- Page 80 and 81: monitors.html From a Review of Moni
- Page 82 and 83: that looked just like—oh my—wai
- Page 84 and 85: glib \ ‘glib \ adj glib-ber; glib
- Page 86 and 87: movies/personalvelocity.html Person
- Page 88 and 89: movies/wesanderson.html Interview w
- Page 90 and 91: WA: Umm. CB: Are you saying umm or
- Page 92 and 93: movies/mysticmasseur.html Mystic Ma
- Page 94 and 95: movies/blackhawkdown.html Blackhawk
- Page 96 and 97: eal and credible as—nothing, or a
- Page 98 and 99: October 30, 2003 My therapist says
- Page 100 and 101: Someone has left your mailing list!
- Page 102 and 103: If No, then it’s because 1. Meeti
- Page 104 and 105: From: Sarita Date: Thursday, July 1
- Page 106 and 107: hello there fellow webmaster! I enj
- Page 108 and 109: From: Stump7350@aol.com Date: Wedne
- Page 110 and 111: 5/27/01 ‘Pearl Harbor’ misses r
Hotmail Daemon: 1 person wants to exchange instant messages with<br />
you—download MSN Messenger<br />
Well, let me know when that number gets to about 6.<br />
63