book one redone - Coldbacon

book one redone - Coldbacon book one redone - Coldbacon

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28.01.2013 Views

cheeserant.html Success in a free-market system depends on good things like intelligence and motivation and not icky things like nobility and class. That’s why America is better than Britain. But if Americans are so damn smart, then why can’t they make good cheese? Simple, because they don’t have to. When the Europeans stop making cheese, then you’ll soon see just how serious Americans can get about cheese making. We can do it. I know we can. We did it with pretzels. 1 Other ongoing questions: “Do Americans really have worse taste than Europeans?” Well, if you’re talking about car steering wheels, then yes. And I don’t know who has better fashion sense, but it sure can’t be the Japanese. 2 Not unless you’re into clothes that are more neon than your child’s lunch box. And I’m not saying I’m not. But the cheese question continues to ferment. Why is mass-produced cheese so popular over here? Does it sell in Europe or do they all eat Roquefort and Gorgonzola for lunch every day? Well, actually they do. But I did see a commercial on Italian television for Philadelphia cream cheese. At first I thought less of them for it, but then I totally changed my mind. 1 An obvious reference to the lesser known Nietzschean line, “They did it with pretzels.” 2 Notwithstanding the fact that a recent USA Today poll found Tokyo edging out New York as the world’s capital of street fashion. Apparently, black is not an actual fashion. 64

Poison Control “Hello, you have reached—” “Is this the Colgate hotline?” “Yes, how can we help you today?” “I just swallowed an entire tube of your baking soda and peroxide toothpaste.” “Fresh mint or clean mint?” “Am I going to die?” Join Live Chat! (1 people chatting) 65

Poison Control<br />

“Hello, you have reached—”<br />

“Is this the Colgate hotline?”<br />

“Yes, how can we help you today?”<br />

“I just swallowed an entire tube of your baking soda and peroxide<br />

toothpaste.”<br />

“Fresh mint or clean mint?”<br />

“Am I going to die?”<br />

Join Live Chat! (1 people chatting)<br />

65

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