book one redone - Coldbacon
book one redone - Coldbacon book one redone - Coldbacon
Every self-published internet author has a diary. Why should I be different? Except for one thing. This is not my diary. This is the diary of a man who was, for a brief time, mad. He has long since recovered, and I feel now is an appropriate time to share his story with the world in the hope that it may help prevent this (these thoughts) from happening to others. As for the title, it was chosen by the diarist himself after his recovery, and I did not change it. 8
diary.html Diary of a Madman 4/23/00 Today, I borrowed someone else’s joke for my review of American Beauty. Is it plagiarism if the website you got it from no longer exists? What if you just can’t remember the URL? 4/23/00 Snapple’s website just went offline! 4/23/00 Today, I stopped bothering to put two spaces after sentences. Tomorrow, I will pick my nose in public. 4/23/00 Rewrote my review of Happiness. New version definitely better than old. 4/23/00 I just saw a middle-aged man in a suit walking down the street with headphones on. 4/23/00 I just saw two more! Men. Walking around with headphones on. I think they are listening to music. 4/23/00 Snapple’s website back online!!! 9
- Page 3 and 4: Till human voices wake us 3
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- Page 10 and 11: feedback/colleen.html From: Colleen
- Page 12 and 13: feedback/laura.html Subject: Please
- Page 14: poems/love.html My name is, I forge
- Page 18 and 19: mcbone.html Dear Joe et al, I canno
- Page 20 and 21: Sharks If you’re ever attacked by
- Page 22 and 23: ENLARGE YOUR FAVORITE Dear Sir or M
- Page 24 and 25: When one toaster cycle isn’t enou
- Page 26 and 27: http://search.aol.com/dirsearch.que
- Page 28 and 29: ...or perhaps find a deal on... htt
- Page 30 and 31: Milk and Honey You’ve heard it a
- Page 32 and 33: original.html List of people astute
- Page 34: sea foam head hunter I am a race ca
- Page 37 and 38: I’ve always dreamed of a vampire
- Page 39 and 40: news/headlines.html 6/5/05 U.S. War
- Page 42 and 43: writing/stormdrain.html The followi
- Page 44 and 45: 9/19/02 Tropical Storm Isidore Head
- Page 46 and 47: Because of email, the quality of my
- Page 48: http://search.dogpile.com/texis/sea
- Page 51: http://aolsearch.aol.com/dirsearch.
- Page 54 and 55: unless he was just kidding when he
- Page 56 and 57: From: Dave Eggers To: Me Date: Sun,
diary.html<br />
Diary of a Madman<br />
4/23/00<br />
Today, I borrowed some<strong>one</strong> else’s joke for my review of American<br />
Beauty. Is it plagiarism if the website you got it from no longer exists?<br />
What if you just can’t remember the URL?<br />
4/23/00<br />
Snapple’s website just went offline!<br />
4/23/00<br />
Today, I stopped bothering to put two spaces after sentences. Tomorrow, I<br />
will pick my nose in public.<br />
4/23/00<br />
Rewrote my review of Happiness. New version definitely better than old.<br />
4/23/00<br />
I just saw a middle-aged man in a suit walking down the street with<br />
headph<strong>one</strong>s on.<br />
4/23/00<br />
I just saw two more! Men. Walking around with headph<strong>one</strong>s on. I think<br />
they are listening to music.<br />
4/23/00<br />
Snapple’s website back online!!!<br />
9
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