book one redone - Coldbacon

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movies/mysticmasseur.html Mystic Masseur (2002) It’s a nice little story. Parrot: That’s it? That’s your review? Uh. Parrot: Come on. You’ve got to be kidding. I mean you must have something more than that? Nice colors. Parrot: Oh, please. Well shot? Parrot: I’m outta here. 92
movies/dogma.html Dogma (1999) This little film defines mediocrity. I only review it because you liked it. Chris Rock and Jay and Silent Bob are entertaining as usual, but they are better appreciated in their own context (e.g. Clerks, or in the case of Mr. Rock, standup comedy). Alan Rickman is always good, but his part is minimal. Linda Fiorentino is hot, but this isn’t porn, so who cares. Matt Damon has an abundance of boyish charm, but his screen presence is consistently marred by Ben Affleck, who cannot even be discussed seriously as a person, let al<strong>one</strong> an actor. 93
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