Frank Magazine Issue 578.pdf - Besthostingplanever.com

THAT PAGE IN FRANK
SO DID YOU HEAR ABOUT
MIKE DANTON COMING
TO PLAY HERE AT SMU?
YEAH, I DON’T KNOW IF I LIKE THE
IDEA OF HAVING A CONVICTED
CRIMINAL ON OUR TEAM...
WERE THIS SOME QUOTIDIAN MATTER OF HOUSING OR EMPLOYMENT
THEN PERHAPS SO, BUT AS OUR NATIONAL GAME (BY POPULAR
AFFECTION IF NOT OFFICIAL DESIGNATION), ICE HOCKEY BEARS A
SYMBOLIC WEIGHT NECESSITATING A HIGHER STANDARD OF
CONDUCT AMONG ITS AMBASSADORS TO THE PUBLIC SQUARE.
I’M VERY SORRY MIKE, BUT WE ALL VOTED AND WE’VE DECIDED
LETTING SOMEBODY LIKE YOU ON OUR TEAM MIGHT BE BAD FOR US.
AWW GEE WHIZ FELLAS,
THAT’S OKAY. I UNDERSTAND.
I GUESS I WOULDN’T
WANT A ROTTEN JAILBIRD
LIKE ME AROUND EITHER.
28 FEBRUARY 16, 2010 ATLANTIC CANADA FRANK
PERSONALLY I WORRY
THAT OUR SPORT’S IMAGE
RISKS BEING SULLIED
THROUGH ASSOCIATION
WITH AN INDIVIDUAL OF HIS
UNGENTLEMANLY HISTORY.
BUT DOESN’T THE FACT THAT HE
HAS EXPRESSED CONTRITION
AND SERVED HIS DEBT TO
SOCIETY ENTITLE HIM TO OUR
FORGIVENESS, IN ACCORD WITH
THE CHRISTIAN SPIRIT OF OUR
SCHOOL’S FOUNDERS?
IN SHORT, TO UPHOLD OUR COLLECTIVE MORAL INTEGRITY IT IS
INCUMBENT UPON US TO RIGOROUSLY SHUN ALL QUESTION-
ABLE ELEMENTS THAT MIGHT, IN EITHER FACT OR APPEARANCE,
DIMINISH THIS SPORT’S CHERISHED GOOD NAME AND VIRTUE.
SIGH... I DIDN’T LIKE DOING THAT, BUT THERE’S JUST NO PLACE
FOR HIS NO-GOOD LAWBREAKING KIND AROUND HERE.
I MEAN, YOU REMEMBER
WHAT HAPPENED WHEN
MARTHA STEWART WAS
IN GOAL FOR U OF T--
WHAT THE HECK
WAS THAT?!?
I SUPPOSE
I MUST
CONCUR.
AIYEEEEEEE!!!