Gay&Night Augustus 2016

gaynightmagazine

In dit nummer lees je alles over Amsterdam en Antwerp Pride, interviewen we Bob the Drag Queen én vertellen we je alles wat je moet weten over PrEP.

221

Columns

Jennifer

Hopelezz

Gay sex

in the city

Party

On

The weakness

of love

Happy Gay Pride! Or rather Happy LGBTQQIAA

Pride, not to forget anyone. It’s Pride season again

and I wish our readers happy gay holidays wherever

they are.

T

his year’s celebrations looked for a while to be in danger

of being overshadowed by the horric massacre in the

Pulse gay nightclub in Orlando.

Being one of the owners of a nightclub in Amsterdam, Club

Church, that really hit home. And we did get lots of anxious

questions about our security. Some customers went so far as

to advise us to remodel our entrance, have security agents

continually rove the club, only allow pin payments so everyone is

traceable and introduce ID checks with full body searches. Now I

imagine full body searches would have some fans, not sure about

the other measures, though.

We also received comments like ‘Do you take extra precautions or

do you let everyone in, under the motto “we don’t discriminate”.

Since yesterday I do discriminate, under the motto “self

preservation”’. Not too sure if we should ditch Article 1 of the

Dutch constitution quite so fast.

Of course, we have to be cautious, most of us are to some extent.

When I strut over the Leidseplein on a drunken Saturday night, I

have my eyes in the back of my well-coiffured head as well. And as

a club owner we do take extra safeguards for our public’s safety.

But the likelihood that you get run over by a beer bike on your

way to the club is about a thousand times higher than any sort of

attack.

In spite of what happened in America, we’re not going to allow

one criminal to make us give up the freedoms we have fought so

long for. We’re not going to retreat back into a barricaded closet.

We will take precautions, but we won’t be cowered. Like Baz

Luhrmann said in Strictly Ballroom ‘A life lived in fear is a life

half-lived’.

In the week after the attack there was a quickly organized meeting

with Mayor Van der Laan, heads of Police and Justice and the

gay community. At the meeting the Mayor put it best: ‘During

Pride we celebrate our freedom and we won’t let it be taken away

from us just like that.’ Hear hear! So party on, let’s celebrate our

freedom and let’s not succumb to fear and division.

‘Emotions is all we have!’ That was the last phrase of

Harvey Keitel’s character in Youth before he jumped

from a balcony to his death betrayed by the bitch he

had admired played by Jane Fonda. The more I talk

about the physical part of intimacy in my articles, the

more I realize how much I must chip in my two cents

about the big elephant in the room: that very favorite

topic about which songs are composed, lms are shot

and books are written. The primal and unavoidable

emotion the best of us sometimes hate to have!

A

creepy thought went through my head recently when a

friend of mine told me how, in his opinion, 90 percent of

people do not express their feelings to the person they

like. Whether that scary percentage is true or not, it’s

awful to realize how some choose to hide their emotions for the

fear of being humiliated, heartbroken or inconvenienced. Being the

cupid’s unassuming victim a long time ago in the past, I remember

eating myself from the inside afraid to express my feelings for

one guy. He did reject me after I nally found the courage to tell

him how I felt and yet the devastating feeling that came after (and

lingered for several months) paled in comparison with self-loathing

while I didn’t dare express myself to him. Subconsciously, I had felt

that that very self-loathing would linger much longer if I chose to

be a coward and not act according to how I felt.

Rejection isn’t a picnic, and the more you like a person the longer

your heart remains broken if the feelings are unrequited. And yet

according to research ‘not expressing how I felt for someone’ scores

very high with old people when asked if they regret something from

the past. Thinking that it would be the end of the world if the object

of the admiration doesn’t respond positively, many people see the

peace and comfort in living in a lie, self-hatred and the hatred for

others! Shortsighted, many fail to see the strength in confronting

their weakness as it ultimately makes you want to be a better

person. And exactly that self-improvement was the biggest and best

product of my past heartbreaks, which I actually should be thankful

for, as I would not be the person I am today!

PS. I’ll be bringing the Olympic Flame to the Homomonument to

launch the 12th International Drag Olympics on Friday 5th August

– hope to see you all there!

Greek-Australian Jennifer Hopelezz (38) arrived in Amsterdam in 1990.

She (co-) started Pink Point, Homomonument Festivals, Drag Olympics

and SuperBall. Nowadays she’s co-owner of Club Church, Sauna

Nieuwezijds and board member of Gala. She is mother of the House of

Hopelezz and lives apart together with her 3 ancées and more than 50

children.

Misha M lives and works in Amsterdam. Part-time songwriter and

part-time masseur, the USSR-born former New Yorker shares his dating

and sex life stories and experiences, and the lessons he has learned

from them. midhamamedov@hotmail.com/www.mishamamedov.com

FOTO © JENNIFER HOPELEZZ

FOTO © MGR MADHATTER

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