Unikum desember 2019

My mom eventually lost the battle and died peacefully in her
bed. Befitting of such a kind woman, if anyone deserved a
good death, it was her. I had hoped…that maybe my mother’s
death would trigger a kindness in my father, one that I had
come to miss. But that never happened. Instead, I saw something
that made me hate my father even more. Not even
a single tear did he shed at the funeral. No, he looked happy.
As if a burden had been lifted from his shoulders.
***
Everything was perfect, or rather, so I had hoped. I had
the perfect job, the perfect house, the perfect wife. But
amidst all these perfections, there was a discord. Like a
final piece of the puzzle was missing. My colleague cracked
jokes I was supposed to laugh at, but I never got the
punchline. My house felt like it belonged to someone
else. And the worst, was the look my wife gave me every
night we went to sleep, the same one my son gave me.
What did it mean? I never understood.
***
When I turned 18, I ran away from home. If I stayed
for even a second longer, I was sure my next argument
with my dad would end in my own death. So I ran
away, to a shitty city, where I had a chance to begin a
new life. But life never gave me the opportunity, and
so, I fell deeper and deeper into the pit of despair that
life had dug for me. Every day, I grew more resentful
of the world. Every day I hated my father more and
more. And every day, I spent every second imagining
how my life could be better. Luckily I wasn’t alone. I
had my friend Alan with me to keep me from completely
submerging into the depths of depression.
But I always had a lust for revenge, a thirst I
was always on the lookout to quench.
As if I was a stranger.
But I was Renner, wasn’t I? Perfectly so even. A better,
and technically younger, version of what they
had previously had. The age gap was barely noticeable,
six years didn’t arouse any suspicion.
However, with each passing year, I grew to resent her more
and more. Why couldn’t she just love me? Was that too much
to ask? All I wanted, was happiness. Did I not deserve that?
I considered a divorce, to end it, but luckily fate had other
plans. She got a diagnosis, and I eventually got my freedom.
With one exception. The kid. He had gotten older
now, spending his time in college. I always thought before
I made the travel that I could handle the kid, but I never
could. He just pissed me off. That stupid look on his
face. How he defied me, the insults he spewed at me:
“You’re not my dad, you’ll never be!”
As if he knew. That little runt deserved every beating
he got. But one day, he came home and said the same
audacious shit he always did. I beat him, as I always
did. And then, he said the most peculiar thing:
“Elapsam semel occasionem non ipse potest
Iuppiter reprehendere.”
Those words, the same ones the other Renner
had said as he died. Where had he heard them?
From the other Renner, before I took over?
“What does that mean?” I barked.
“Not even Jupiter can find a lost opportunity,” he responded
and ran up to his room, probably to cry like always.
***
I finally found happiness. The kid ran away. The wife
was dead. I sold the house to get rid of the last skeleton
in the closet. I was free. I bought a new house, got a
new job with new friends, found a new wife, had a new
child, and suddenly, all my hopes and dreams came
to fruition. I was happy. I had finally beaten fate.
I had won.
As I sat in the bar with the boys, I looked at the barkeep
and realized that he reminded me of someone. I couldn’t
quite put my finger on it. Maybe someone from my previous
life? It didn’t matter anymore, I had forged my own
path, and I had no plans to derail from it. The evening
came to an end, and I said goodbye to all my friends.
Outside it was raining cats and dogs, luckily I had my thick
coat wrapped around me. I walked down the alleys like
I always did, because I feared nothing. I had beaten fate;
nothing could stand in my way of happiness anymore.
And I trusted that belief, until I felt a tap on my shoulder.
I turned around, and suddenly, I felt the cold metal
of a knife plunged into me. Not once. Not twice.
But thrice. An agonizing pain washed over me and
blood came bursting from my mouth. But then I looked
at my assailant’s face. Then, I couldn’t stop a
smile even if I wanted to. Then a chuckle. And then a
laugh. I could feel my lifeforce leaving my body, but
just as I was about to collapse, I finally understood.
“Elapsam semel occasionem non ipse potest
Iuppiter reprehendere.”
Not even Jupiter can find a lost opportunity.
Not even Jupiter can find a lost opportunity.
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