Motus // Heart Break Issue- Lili Price Studio

Mōtus
Medicine for the
Soul
July 2017
0 123456 789012
- H e a r t B r e a k I s s u e -

To the boy I thought I was falling
in Love with, but broke
my heart!

What’s Inside
Pg 06
A note to you from the editor
written by Lili Price
Pg 08
I’ve learnt a lot about friendship
and a little about love
written by Lili Price
Pg 12
How boys just screw us over
written by Rhea Denenga
Pg 16
How to deal with a heartbreak
written by Rhea & Lili Price
Pg 20
The modern heartbreak thoughts
and poems collection
written by Lili Price

M ō t u s M a g a z i n e H e a r t B r e a k I s s u e
A Note to You
from the editor
Motus magazine is meant to be medicine
for the soul. When you get physical pain
you take pills to make you feel better. People
underestimate mental pain, they don’t
understand that it hurts a hell of a lot more
sometimes than physical pain. Motus means
emotion in Latin. I think it is so sad in
today’s society that we are taught that
having feelings makes us weak. I find that
words are medicine for the soul. They allow
a person to reflect and think deeply about
their own lives. It’s nice when you can relate
to someone else in the world, it allows you
to think of your own situation and
process it, maybe even write down your
own thoughts on paper. Sometimes it can
even make you laugh in a dark situation.
This allows the recovery process to start
magically working overtime. I’m not saying
that it will cure it completely but it will
hopefully lighten your heart slightly. Songs,
movies and poems have been trying to do
this for a long time. Now I wanted a
beautiful magazine to try and add a
mournful slant on it. Every month we will
be discussing something different such as
family, friends, depression etc.…
This month we are looking at the topic of
heartbreak. Everyone at some point in our
lives will go through their first heart break
and then hundreds of others, before finding
the right person in their lives to spend the
rest of their time with. It is quite scary
isn’t it? Sometimes people around you just
won’t understand how you feel, especially
when they haven’t gone though the same
thing yet, they will say, “you didn’t know
him for that long.... he can’t have been that
great.... just kiss other guys.... it will erase
the previous one, oh just forget them, they
are such arseholes...., they tricked you into
thinking they are someone else... they treat
you so badly.... I don’t want to hear his
name again”. But in your mind, you can’t
help it, it is just there in the back or front
of your mind, all of the time. Maybe it’s
the brain craving for how you felt around
that person, maybe it was never the person
you miss, or maybe it was. Maybe you miss
how you feel when you are with them. Love
is a funny concept as everyone craves it
and some people are there because they
genuinely want to receive and give love and
others just treat love as a massive game, to
control and manipulate people, to suit their
own self worth.
I never quite knew how key a happy
relationship with someone can be to a
person’s life. A relationship can make you
feel on top of the world, or at the same time
it can make you question every moment.
With this magazine I wanted to share a
couple of articles based on a major lesson
I learnt. From seeing Rhea’s view point on
how boys just screw us over to how to deal
with a heartbreak. The end of the magazine
gives some modern heartbreak thoughts
and poem collections, written by me.
Maybe they are everything that I wanted to
say, but everything I couldn’t say as society
wouldn’t allow me to say them, as it would
have been too ‘weird.’
Lili
Price
Pg // 6
Pg // 7

M ō t u s M a g a z i n e H e a r t B r e a k I s s u e
Who needes validation from a boy, when the best validation is from your friends?
I’ve Learnt a Lot
ABOUT FRIENDSHIP
and a little about love
I
never really know what it feels like to fall or be in love with someone.
I definitely don’t know what it feels like for someone to be in love with
me, for my soul. People are strange things, people just can’t seem to
hold onto happiness. I think deep down, all of us secretly think that
there’s beauty in sadness, people go around wanting things they can’t have
and as soon as you get used to the idea of someone and the future that you
could build together, the other person will decide that they have changed
their mind and will just go. I feel like for girls in their mid twenties, boys
will just come and go, but your friends are what you should be focusing on.
I have 100% accurate proof from Sex and the City that this is the formula
to happiness in your 20’s!
I’ve always known friendships are important and it’s better to have a small
group of real friends than a large amount of people who are fake friends.
But during a difficult time when you’re going through something
mentally or physically challenging, for example a person you are dating is
being an arsehole or a you are going through a breakup, I realise how much
you need a small group, or even one friend for support, care and love. I am
very lucky now in life, in that I can say that I have a handful of friends.
They have gone way above what I could imagine anyone could do for me. It
offers so much more validation in life than having a guy liking me.
The definition of a friend is a person who you have a connection with and
affection for, but not a sexual or family connection with. Good friends can
be really really hard to find. It has taken me over 20 years to find a handful
of people that I trust, I care for and I feel like they are family. They are
there for the highs and the lows. There were a lot of tears and
disappointment, growing up with people. Some friends have a time and
place and they are important in that moment of time, but people do come
and go in life and it’s sad, it’s very sad, when you don’t want to let go of
them but the other person and you have just moved on, as people move in
different directions. You can’t always hold onto everything great in life, you
just have to appreciate the moments, enjoy them, smile and let them go.
Relationships between people have always fascinated me, how people act
towards each other, how people connect, how people can feel comfortable in
a person’s presence. I don’t want to sound like I don’t think that
relationships between couples are stupid or not important. I think that
they should be an extension to friendship. I am writing about when I’ve
been hurt, so maybe this article is not going to shed relationship in the
W r i t i n g a n d P h o t o g r a p h y b y L i l i P r i c e
Pg // 8
Pg // 9

M ō t u s M a g a z i n e H e a r t B r e a k I s s u e
“ Words just came out of his mouth
and my heart listened to them”
best of light. But I’ve realised that going into something intimate and where
you feel like you give your emotional soul to a person, you need to know if
you can trust them, you need to know that they care, you need to know that
they are not going to get what they want and then screw you over and take
everything from you and leave you with nothing. I think that when finding
someone with whom to spend a lifetime,, you can’t base this on looks, jobs,
power, money, status or the sexual tension between the couple. But actually I
think it would be best to start a relationship based on a friendship. Isn’t that
the dream to fall in love with your best friend? It means that they respect
you, they care, they already have a value in both of the partners’ lives. They
see you as the most alive thing in the world, that makes each of you happy.
I just personally don’t think that most boys between 16 - 27’ish are mature
enough to handle what it means to be in a relationship, whether a light one
or a serious one. As most girls just feel everything. They say they don’t, but
that’s a lie, it means that they have been hurt in the past, since most guy
just seems to mess up somehow, and it has meant that the girls have built up
walls so high that people think they are tough, when really the sad reality is
that they have just been broken, before you have met them and they don’t
want to feel like that again. I don’t think time can determine how hard you
can fall for someone. I used to think that I would just know when the right
person would walk into my life, to be honest I didn’t know how that would
feel or what that could feel like until last year, that’s the mistake I made, it
just felt so right when I first met him standing there in a shirt in the summer
sun in Regent Street, leant up against a wall, in a cool patterned shirt
and sunglasses. I can’t explain what it feels like to know, I just knew. But
we weren’t friends first, he never really had a deeper emotional connection to
me, which was sad. I felt like I did, I wanted him to become my best friend,
so I could say I had fallen in love with my best friend, but he didn’t value
me as a person, he didn’t seem to realise that I had a heart and feelings. He
just saw me as a pretty object that he felt he could play with until he got
bored. Words just came out of his mouth and my heart listened to them. I
felt like my soul was attaching itself to him far too fast. I never felt this way
around any one else. It sounds stupid and maybe even creepy. But you can’t
help how you feel, I think that in today’s society it’s very sad how people are
encouraged not to express how they feel as people thinks its weird, silly and
having feelings makes you weak in society.
So what I am trying to say is, your 20’s are a time to have fun, to go dating,
dress up and enjoy being with people. It’s about having quality time with
people. It’s not a time to fall in love and let your soul be attached to boys,
who just simply aren’t ready for that yet in life. They can turn a very normal
girl into a crazy, insane version of their former selves, they can make girls
feel empty inside, they can control a girl, until they look in the mirror and
no longer recognise themselves. It’s about focusing your time and energy on
your group of friends now, going out with them and appreciating the time
you have with them now, as in 20 years from now you will be in jobs, you
will have a family, you will have responsibilities. You might not have time
to travel, explore and experience amazing things with your group of friends.
You might regret all those nights you sat crying in bed over a boy that never
really valued you.
Pg // 10
Pg // 11

M ō t u s M a g a z i n e H e a r t B r e a k I s s u e
How Boys Just
Screw us Over
I thought he was the one // He teated me like a princess // He built a future in my head //
He told me he loved me // He said I was the one!
Right girls! I think it’s time we
discussed something important.
Being used, mugged off, taken
advantage of and being played
is something that all females in the modern
day seem to have to deal with. It’s unfair,
unacceptable and no girl should have to go
through it but we all do. It doesn’t help that
due to the technological advances, such as
phones, texting, tinder, social media,
Snapchat etc.... it’s almost impossible to be
happy with him. It all begins when you’re
about 16. The lies, the dreams, the false sense
of security. Most boys aged 16+ are out there
to screw us over. And we never see it
coming. Boys seem to have an addiction. To
lying that is. Something I hear regularly is,
“Did he really think I wouldn’t find out?”.
Cheating is the number one action that boys
do, and always get caught doing it too.
Whether that’s over text, on Instagram or in
person they are doing it, and they are
disrespecting you whilst they’re doing it.
Most boys will tell you you’re crazy if you
accuse them of even the smallest thing such
as ignoring a text. But if you have a reason
not to trust them, then don’t worry, you aren’t
crazy. Boys need to understand that if a girl
is worried about their actions then they need
to straighten up. Not the other way round.
The most popular question a girl can ask a
boy these days is : “why did you ‘like’ her
picture?” But really. Why did he like her
picture if you are the only girl he wants?
That’s because you aren’t the only girl he
wants. It’s the cold hard truth. If he’s getting
over 200 ‘likes’ on instagram and tonnes of
girls are commenting on it and he is
responding, believe me, you aren’t the only
one. The problem is this. Boys talk to you
in a certain way that makes you feel special,
you feel lucky to have him, that’s if he’s even
announced that you are in fact a couple, if
he hasn’t, then be suspicious. “You’re the only
girl I’m talking to” .....if he feels the need to
tell you this then it’s likely to be a cover up
because he knows that you’re suspicious of
him. “You’re so hot/sexy” ....if that’s the first
compliment you are given by a boy then it’s
clear they see you as no more than a sexual
object. A real gentleman wouldn’t focus on sex.
If a boy says....“I’m not ignoring you, I was
busy”. When you know full well that he’s been
posting snapchats all day from his bedroom
playing FIFA. Boys love to ignore girls.
Especially after they’ve had what they want.
This is the worst thing they can do. Making you
feel completely used and you can’t think why
because they were acting so interested before. I
hate to say it but once boys have got what they
want they don’t feel the need to bother and are
probably thinking about the next girl they are
going to screw over. If a boy starts acting
uninterested then just ignore him, he’ll soon
come running back. If he turns his phone onto
‘Do not disturb’ when he’s with you, he is
definitely hiding something. Ask him if you
can play music from his phone, if he says no
then he’s hiding something. Technology has
made it really hard to keep calm when talking
to a boy, if they take a whole day to reply, you
get worried, if they post on social media but
don’t reply to you, you’re angry and worried at
the same time.
Boys love to come round twice or even three
times to make you feel like he’s not just using
you for sex. The longer he sticks around the
more you trust him, then as soon as you let your
guard down, he won’t reply.
He told you he loves you. Oh dear! The number
one lie told by a male. He might tell you he
loves you, but he’s also telling that to the other
girls that he’s talking to. How can someone who
loves you be impossible to trust?
Written by Rhea Denenga / Photograper Lili Price / Model Ellie Dalby
Pg // 12
Pg // 13

M ō t u s M a g a z i n e H e a r t B r e a k I s s u e
Falling
Pick wisely who you fall for,
they can make the next part of your chapter
the most amazing experience in the world,
or the most painful endurance in the world.
It is amazing how two of the opposite feelings can come from the same place, namely,
Love.
Pg // 14
Pg // 15

M ō t u s M a g a z i n e H e a r t B r e a k I s s u e
How To Deal with A
Heartbreak
Written by Rhea Denenga & Lili Price
/ Photograper Lili Price / Model Sisi Klawiter
Heartbreak can sometimes be a
struggle for women of all ages.
Everyone, even boys, will go
through it at some point in life. It can be
a very sad and disappointing time for the
person who is experiencing it. You will
never quite get what it feels like until
you experience heartbreak, the first one
is the worst. It can be the realisation that
either you see exactly what the other
person was really like or it’s a mutual
letting go and moving on. It is an
explosion of memories and emotions
that just lie in pieces all around.
Heartbreak can really really hurt and I
feel like it’s down to the other person
who you are dating or going out with to
deal with it in a mature way.
Remember, you can still break
someone’s heart in the early stages of a
relationship, especially when it seems as
though it is what the boy wants. People
can fall fast for the other person, they
can’t help how they feel. I think it’s the
responsibility for each person to let the
other down in the least painful way.
People are allowed to change their mind
and move away from somebody, it’s just
the way that life is, people fade in and
out. The best way is to be front up and
honest about it, I promise the other
person will be grateful that they know
where both of you stand and they will
have closure. Its horrible when people
ghost, lead a person on and just treat
them badly.
Whether you’re heartbroken because
people just move on or because the other
person has just been awful, don’t sit
around crying and eating chocolates or
watching ‘The notebook’ and
wishing that it was you that Ryan
Gosling loved unconditionally. It’s
time us girls learnt how to deal with
the times that heartbreak hits. Here are
some tips on how to deal with
heartbreak, it won’t be easy and it
won’t be quick but these steps should
make you feel better.
1. To feel your emotions, I think it is
good to allow yourself a little bit of
time to feel sad, get out all the negative
emotions. This is a key part of the
healing process, don’t bottle up
negative thoughts and feelings inside
your body. Sitting and writing down
how you feel can also be a relief, a
Pg // 16
Pg // 17

M ō t u s M a g a z i n e H e a r t B r e a k I s s u e
means of getting it off your chest and piecing
everything together.
2. Remove the offender from all forms of
social media. You aren’t going to get over this
heartbreak if you keep seeing them on
facebook, twitter, snapchat and Instagram,
with other girls, or doing things that they
should be doing with you. It will hurt but in
a couple of days you will start to forget about
them and whatever you do, don’t type their
name in and look at their profile, just block
them.
3. Get out of the house! Keeping busy will
distract you from the heartbreak and make you
feel worthy again, it will remind you daily that
there is more to life than relationships and you
can focus on other things like maybe reading a
book, working on a creative project, starting a
youtube channel, starting a blog about
something you are passionate about, taking a
course in photography to get your Instagram
looking amazing, taking up a new sport,
building up your work experience ad CV or
going for long walks across parks and the
countryside, to quote a few! There are so
many things that you could do to keep your
self busy.
“Surround yourself
with people you love”
4. Self improvement. Focusing on yourself
will not only distract you from the heartbreak
but will improve you as a person. So grab
some hair dye, get down to Topshop and spoil
yourself! A new look can make you feel like
there is an actual new chapter starting and it
can be a really exciting stage in your life. You
can reinvent yourself into anyone you want to
be.
5. Avoid listening to sad or slow music and
watching romantic movies. Try to keep an
upbeat and positive vibe going for the next
few weeks, that’s right, ditch anything cool
like Foals, we all secretly know you have
Taylor Swift somewhere on a device. Play
it as loud as you can and dance around your
bedroom, it will make you feel better!
6. Surround yourself with people you love,
sitting alone in your room is the worst thing
you can do. Ring your friends and invite them
over for a night in. Head over to the local
pub for a drink. Do some shopping, eat out
at restaurants or even hit the club. Having a
good time with friends is just as fun as being
with a boy. It also allows you to get out, enjoy
being young and having freedom to be able to.
It could also potentially open up opportunities
for meeting new people and widening your
friendship group and enjoying
new experiences.
7. Talk to someone about it, it might seem
stupid, but having feelings is really not. It is
what makes us human, we feel happiness, we
feel sadness, we feel angry, we have all these
variations of emotions. Bottling up negative
emotions is never a good thing and this can
cause serious issues in the future.
Ring up your best friend and spill, if
they’re really your friends they will
listen to it all no matter how many
times they have heard it. You would
do the same to them right? This is
why it is so important to pick the
right people to hang out with.
8. Cry! It sounds like the worst idea,
but crying is important as it is your
body reacting to the pain you’re
feeling. If you cry when you’re
feeling down then you should feel
better afterwards, you’ll probably
wonder why you even cried when
it’s over. Once it’s over you will just
look back and feel embarrassed that
you felt that way about a stupid
person who was just normal and
who you put up on a pedestal.
9. Move on from him. People always
say that if you can’t get over
someone then you should try dating
new people. It will be refreshing
to meet new people and since it’s a
new year, it’s a perfect time to leave
the past behind. Struggling to meet
new people? Tinder app allows you
to connects you with people nearby,
where you get to go on lots of fun
dates, right?
10. Find something new to become
obsessed with instead of
obsessing over him. It’s much
healthier to obsess over something
like a celebrity or a TV series than
a boy you can’t have. Doing this
will help channel your heartbreak
obsession elsewhere!
11. Finally, you must wait.
Heartbreak doesn’t leave
straightaway. It may feel like the
heartbreak is going on forever but
with things like this, only time will
heal you.
Heartbreak really sucks, why do
you think there is so much on love,
going back through history. Love
is one of the most complex matter
in life that people will deal with.
People should understand and learn
how to deal with it. At the end of
the day no one likes rejection, but
there is a way to deal with it so that
you still show care and respect for
the other person and for them to
allow their healing time not to hurt
so much. At the end of the day, if
the one person in the world that
means the most to you, can turn and
around and slap you in the face, its
a total shock.
Pg // 18
Pg // 19

M ō t u s M a g a z i n e H e a r t B r e a k I s s u e
H A E T R
T h e M o d e r n
...Break, Thoughts & Poems
Collection
Writing & Photography - Lili Price // Models - Ellie Dalby & Josh Doherty
Pg // 20
Pg // 21

M ō t u s M a g a z i n e H e a r t B r e a k I s s u e
You Made
Me Feel
You made me feel safe,
You made me feel happy,
You made me feel complete,
It just felt so right.
Now you make me feel scared,
You now make me feel sad,
You now make me feel angry,
You now make me feel lonely,
You now make me nervous.
And now....
You make me feel
Like I am hard to love.
Pg // 22
Pg // 23

M ō t u s M a g a z i n e H e a r t B r e a k I s s u e
I will be your biggest, most beautiful
and most haunting mistake.
I loved you for you and
nothing else.
Pg // 24
Pg // 25

The Moment
He said that he believed that the moment,
his moment,
would come in three years time,
when he would be truly happy
and have everything he ever wanted.
He said that everything that he was working
for in his life would happen then.
How stupid was I to think my moment was with you.
I was perfectly happy lying in your arms.
I didn’t really think that it could get any better.
I thought I had found the one,
the one that would make me happy,
so all the other chaos in the world,
didn’t really matter,
Once I fell into his arms.
This doesn’t mean that I wasn’t being ambitions,
It just meant that I knew what really mattered in life,
isn’t the noise that people get so embroiled in,
they can’t see what’s standing right in front of them,
could actually be the key to their own happiness.
The sad thing was
I just wasn’t enough for him to be happy with.
M ō t u s M a g a z i n e H e a r t B r e a k I s s u e
Trust
All relationships are built on trust.
Every part of the honey moon stage,
is trusting them that little bit more.
When the trust is gone.
The relationship is doomed.
Every small thing you will question, overthink,
or think the worst of the other person
and things will just get blown out of proportion.
There will come the stage,
when both of you will not be happy anymore,
the happiness doesn’t exist or
it’s not a true form of happiness anymore.
It’s fake happiness,
when your expectation are so low,
that small things such as receiving some small
piece of attention makes you feel happy.
Pg // 26
Pg // 27
Trust is like glass,
once broken it can never be,
fixed back to the original form,
it won’t feel the same.
There will always be that mark.
It just feels like a pure state
of loneliness, isolation and
sadness.

M ō t u s M a g a z i n e H e a r t B r e a k I s s u e
The Ghosting
The Dreamer
The Goshts that get
My Regrets, Can’t
& D i s a p p e a r i n g A c t
& T h e B r e a k e r
Left around the City
W e t u r n b a c k T i m e
One minute he is there,
the next heart beat
he is gone,
disappeared into thin air.
I think now he’s gone, It feels like my imagination has
shattered and it’s raining down on my life.
I feel as though writing is me running around
trying to catch fragment of memories and feelings
Walking around this grey dim light city,
There are just faces after faces that I pass by
movement, noise, laughter,
sunlight.
Looking back I have so many regrets with our time. I
wish I could turn it back and start again, but this is real
life you can’t do that. You have to live with the mistakes
and learn from them.
and piecing them all together to figure out the mess
left you wondering if he’s died,
left you wondering if you have done something
wrong.
left you wondering if it was all in your head.
we both made.
My mistake was that I was a
naive girl who was looking for love and care.
I was a dreamer, a perfectionist and an overthinker.
I just feel like I’m trapped in time
and everyone else is
moving on and forwards
in their lives,
I’m screaming but no one can hear.
- I regret meeting you online
- I regret I didn’t listen to my instinct
- I regret I let my guard down when I met you,
I never knew I would fall for you so hard.
- I regret that I didn’t tell you how I feel every time you
he just left, without a trace.
What I learnt from this is;
that it is nothing that you have done,
that it is nothing you have said,
that you haven’t done anything wrong.
It’s just the way he is:
Every moment that was spent together,
in my memories were always edited like it was a film.
I know that by accident I was living in my head and
he couldn’t keep up with it or maybe I just made the
moments magically in my head and maybe
he never shared them.
His mistake was the way he dealt with the situations.
The way things moved too fast,
the way he would cancel and stand me up.
They way he didn’t seem to care about how his
words and actions would cut so deep.
I’m walking down a street,
and I get to a place where we have been together
The ghosts that get left around the
city haunt me everywhere.
I can see them so clearly.
Well I can see him so clearly.
I can see him standing there,
with the afternoon sunlight getting
caught in his hair.
My memory captured the moments so clearly,
my heart retained the feelings to strongly.
let me down. I just said it was fine, when really I wasn’t
- I regret that I never gave you time to miss me at the
start, I just always made time for you every time.
- I regret I didn’t take time to really get to know you and
for you to see my as a valuable.
- I regret not spending more quality time together over me
trying to always get quantity time
- I regret giving you so many chances
- I regret trying to be understanding and kind
- I regret I didn’t leave at the start, when you tried to
cancel the first date.
- I regret falling way too fast.
Mean,
The way words fell out of his mouth,
Cruel,
Evil and
he didn’t mean them
but my heart and mind believed them.
These ghosts seem to haunt and follow me around,
will they ever just disappear?
But I don’t regret meeting you!
Souless
Pg // 28
Pg // 29

M ō t u s M a g a z i n e H e a r t B r e a k I s s u e
Crystals are beautiful,
They are sharp.
They have lots of edges.
They are mesmerising.
They have a difference appearance under light.
They have a complicated scientific structure to them.
They are rare.
They are cold.
They remind me strongly of you, of your characteristics…..
You’re beautiful,
You are so sharp it hurts,
You have so many different sides to you.
You are truly memorising,
You have a different personality under different light.
You are complicated in the way you are.
You are rare, a one of a kind.
You are so cold,
you could freeze a heart to death.
Pg // 30
Pg // 31

M ō t u s M a g a z i n e H e a r t B r e a k I s s u e
MAGIC
Why can’t magic exist in real life,
it could take away the pain
and take away the memories,
to make it more easy.
I guess then no one would ever learn
these life lessons,
heart break!
However I do want to believe in magic,
some things in life feel like it,
he used to feel like it.
Pg // 32
Pg // 33

M ō t u s M a g a z i n e H e a r t B r e a k I s s u e
Kiss a girl,
Make her fall in love with you,
Then break her heart,
for fun.
Pg // 34
Pg // 35

M ō t u s M a g a z i n e H e a r t B r e a k I s s u e
Why are you pushing me away?
you’re pushing me so far,
I'm about to let go.
How they leave, tells you so
much about them.......
Was it worth the happiness
becuase the sadness is killing me?
Loving you is like loving a cactus,
it’s so bloody painful.
I see your face everywhere,
but it’s never you.
He said he didn’t believe in the concept of time,
he said life was just moments that passed a person by.
I should leave,
I want to leave.
But my heart is chained to you,
and you don’t even notice it.
Pg // 36
Pg // 37

M ō t u s M a g a z i n e H e a r t B r e a k I s s u e
Is this all inside my head? .....
Pg // 38
Pg // 39

M ō t u s M a g a z i n e
Instagam & Twitter // @motusmagazine
Pg // 40
Website // www.motusmagazine.co.uk