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SHAUMBRA MONTHLY 6 January 2013
Patterns & Goals & Directions… Oh My!
By John McCurdy – Crimson Circle Advanced Studies Teacher
A dear friend called the other day, because her life
was falling apart and she needed someone to talk to.
Actually it’s been falling apart for a long time, and yet here
she is alive and mostly well, though suffering through
essentially the same situation she’s suffered through a
hundred times before in the time I’ve known her.
So often it amazes me how long we can go in the same
old never-ending, self-fulfilling, self-repeating, painful
cycle before we finally get enough and step out of it. And
that’s not meant to criticize my friend, for I do it too, and
I’m quite certain that every one of you can think of places
where you do it. It’s so easy to see in others, and so hard
to see in ourselves.
What painful or frustrating patterns are you repeating
over and over and over again in your life? If you’re not
sure, just take a look at the things you don’t like in your
life. Look especially at the things that you think are
someone else’s fault (including you from the past), and
that keep happening in some form over and over again.
Those are your patterns.
Anyway, my friend’s life was falling apart once
again. She had no money and no transportation and
was stuck in the wrong city, among other woes, and
her beautiful and well-laid plans were crashing down
around her. “I just don’t know what direction to go
anymore,” she lamented.
“That’s good!” I said, which wasn’t what she wanted
to hear.
“I just don’t know what God wants me to do
anymore,” she tried again.
“Wait, let’s stop right there,” I said, for we’ve been
over this before. “God doesn’t want you to do anything.
God doesn’t have a plan for you, or a direction. God
just wants to know what you want to do. God just
wants to discover what you choose, and to experience
that, whatever it turns out to be. That’s all God wants
from you, ever!”
“But I’ve made so many stupid mistakes,” she
complained. “Look at all the things I’ve messed up in
my life!”
“What if you never messed anything up?” I asked.
“What if you never did anything wrong? What if it was
all in divine order, even though you don’t understand it?
What if it was just the experiences that your soul chose
to have?”
We talked about that for a while, and then I asked her:
“If you knew that you couldn’t get it wrong, for you can’t,
and if you knew that no matter what you choose you’re
going to be okay, for you will, what would you choose to
do right now?”
“I’m not sure.”
“How about a warm bath?”