WELCOME Page When your time is up Having spent many wonderful years working with Heather, our editor and Janet, our features editor has come to an end. Janet's moved on and Heather has retired. Their guidance has been a great help to me, telling me what I can and cannot write. Keeping me out of trouble. Someone would have sued me sooner or later for things that I would have written if it wasn't for them. It was like having three wonderful wives. That may be one of the reasons why I'm a little deaf now. I have been told by my third wife, that age may have something to do with it. What a load of rubbish! It's years of ear bending by three women. That felt good to say that and get away with it. But, I am happy to announce our new arrival. It’s the start of a new era. We have a new editor on board. I’d like you all to welcome Ashwin Mehra to the fold. He will be your main point of contact for all editorial enquiries. I am confident that he can take the magazine into the exciting, awe-inspiring, though often confusing age, we currently find ourselves in. We were let down at short notice as we had a reader that intended to write this page, so I'm back to fill in this page with my usual ‘I've got a hang up tone’, so just stick with it. A couple of weeks ago, I had to sit through Embarrassing Bodies. It's not the most enjoyable programme I've had to sit through. For those who have not seen it, it’s about unpleasant things that can happen to your body and believe you me, there are some very unpleasant things that can grow on you and in you. The most upsetting thing is, people are going around with some of these unpleasant problems. Now if our doctors were doing their jobs properly, this sort of programme would never exist. Doctors are paid a very satisfactory wage; yet don’t seem to give a damn about their patients. Perhaps I've gone to far with that statement, but if you had seen that program, you would want to string up their doctor. I have mentioned a number of times that I, like Heather, have reached retirement age and going to the doctor is, well like going to the bakers, they are no help. The phrase is: ‘because of your age you will have to live with it’. Fair enough, but a lot of those people in the programme were young. That’s it, I have finished my moan. Well, nearly, I may have to end up in an old people’s home and their service is far worse than a doctor’s. I suppose the answer is, carry on drinking. Look, stop your whining about the tablets I gave you for your constipation. Give them another week and if they haven't worked, try this. But don't forget to light the end. ISSUE <strong>138</strong> SEPTEMBER <strong>2012</strong> <strong>Sign</strong> <strong>Update</strong> 5
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