Billy Eye's 'Porn Credit' - TVparty! Books

He had already starred in three features, Roommates, Kip Noll and the Westside
Boys, and Grease Monkeys, the latter of which was currently playing at
the Century Theater on Hollywood Boulevard where success was measured
not at the box office alone but by the amount of cleanup the back of the
seats needed. Grease Monkeys was apparently a two handkerchief picture.
Larry Ginsburg (who also sported an alias, Mark Reynolds) had an appetite
for doe-eyed innocents or, if they were on back order, their Bizarro world
counterparts. I’m not positive if the sweetmeats he paraded around the office
were strictly legal tender but a promising career as a Noll brother might have
been one of his lures. Larry sauntered over to my desk with his meat shadow
one afternoon, “Billy can you help me out tonight?” “That depends,” my
eyes locked on his newly bejeweled pet being groomed for the track.
“I have a recording session set up for tonight at Cherokee Studios and one of
my actors can’t make it. Can you do it?” It just so happened I was the only
actor in history to move from North Carolina to L.A. to get away from performing.
“I have the film edited, we’re just going to run the movie through
twice and you’ll talk as if you’re Kip Noll. It’ll take a hour or so and I’ll pay
you a hundred dollars.”
“Why?!?” I was told every adult film made up to that point was shot on
16mm film, it was prohibitively expensive, unless you cared about the
product, to sync sound to picture so the voices had to be dubbed in later.
Someone along the way thought it would be a good idea to layer cheesy
stock synth music over the soundtrack in a vain attempt to distract the
viewer from how pathetic the entire production was.
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