Ritual - St. Michael's Cemetery

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• One packet of milk, if deceased is a child • $10 worth of coins • Ganges water • Small wood splinters for torches (pandham) • Abishegam materials for bathing (depending on family custom) • One tin of ghee for torch • Any other items depending on the advice of the elders in the family, group, or community. Bear in mind that this is not the time to argue with anyone about the relevance or irrelevance of things; proceed calmly and patiently. All the above items must be brought to the funeral home or crematorium. All the mourners will wear old clothes that can either be washed or discarded. White is the color of mourning, not black. Upon reaching the crematorium: 1. The casket is carried from the vehicle to the platform with legs pointing South first. It is preferable to keep the casket in such a way that the leg faces the incineration chamber. In case it is not in this direction (e.g. facing the gathering), please ensure that it is carried with the legs first when entering the incineration chamber. 2. After placing the body on the platform, the person who conducts rites circumambulates to walk around anti-clockwise three times, usually starting at the leg point followed by close relatives. Others would do the same but just one round. A few grains of rice, or coins or flowers are placed at the mouth by the relatives. 3. Last prayers - this is the time to recite the prayers which can be mantras, slokas from the Bhagavad Gita, the Upanishads, Thevaram, etc. The theme is to remind ourselves that the eternal soul has to commence its journey leaving the mortal body behind. The soul and body are finally separated, and the soul peacefully journeys to its destination. 4. After the prayers are recited, the person who performs the rites will carry a mud pot of water on his left shoulder. Another person - next of kin, stands behind him with a sharp iron instrument. Both of them go around the casket anti-clockwise three times. When the person carrying the pot reaches the head side, he stops for a second or two, and the one with the iron instrument hits the pot gently to make a hole so that water flows out from the hole. The first hole is made at the bottom of the pot, the second one at the center above the first hole and the third one at the top, above the center hole. This water is splashed with the back of the left hand onto the body by the person who follows. This procedure is repeated until three holes are made. At the third round, the pot is dropped behind the person carrying it. He walks away without turning back or looking at the body. The water or Ganga is the medium that separates the dead from the living; in this case, the nearest of the kin. 5. The close relatives and friends may go up to the viewing window. The others disperse quietly. 6. Whatever things that were brought from the home should be left behind or discarded, and are not to be taken back home. Keep the place clean. Immediately after the funeral all the mourners may bathe before going home (if possible) and change their clothes or sprinkle water over themselves and wash their hands before entering the house, immediately washing or discarding the clothes. The immediate family is not to go straight home but may proceed to the banks of a river, or to the sea-shore and after bathing in the water remain there until sunset, then proceed to the home. The person who performs the rites and others will go to the crematorium the next morning to collect the ashes, bringing several requirements for ash collection: two mud pots, big plastic bags, one Kg of rice mixed with green gram, two or three banana leaves (entire), Betel leaf and nut, few bananas, loose flowers, cooked rice and green gram, few darbha grass, camphor match box, two or three packets of milk, a small mud oil lamp, wick and oil, a small towel or piece of cloth white or red and cooked Sesbania (agathee) leaves. The procedure is as follows: 1. The Karmi (performer) standing at the head-side will sprinkle water, followed by milk on the ashes three times. Rules for Mourning The “mourners” are considered to be the close family members on the male side. Women do not observe mourning rituals for their own parents but for the parents of their husbands, since through marriage they change their “gotra.” Parents do not observe for their children. Siblings can observe the rituals for each other. The mourners should not eat meat, salt or drink alcohol, wear perfumes or shave during the 10 days of mourning from the day of death onwards. • Showering should be done daily with the minimum amount of luxury. Continued on page 8 • Cooking should not be done in the house and all food should be brought from friends’ houses. • The mourners should sleep on the ground and not engage in any form of entertainment. • It is customary not to greet anyone or even to return a greeting. • Visitors to the house should not be entertained in any way. • These rules should be observed until the 10th day ceremonies. • If due to social and professional circumstances these rules of mourning cannot be observed for all 10 days they should be observed for at least 3 days. CREMATIONIST – Vol. 47, No. 2, Spring 2011 7
Did you Know? A question and answer session with Pondit Moshan Persaud, a Hindu Pondit from Brooklyn, NY Why do Hindus typically choose cremation? Hindus typically choose cremation to release the soul to the five elements of the world (earth, water, air, heat and space) as soon as possible. Once the body has passed away, the process of cremation will release the soul so that the spirit or soul can return to the five elements. A. Pick up the bones from the head, neck, chest region (vertebrae), the hip and leg and place them in two pots. The remaining ashes can be lumped together and placed on a banana leaf. Any excess to be placed in plastic bags. B. If the ashes are taken to the sea, carry three to four liters of water with you. Whether at the crematorium or near the sea, the performer and others who help him will take a bath and remain in wet clothes while performing the rites. 2. Whether it is done in the crematorium or at the seaside, the following rites are performed: A. Spread the banana leaves one over the other with ends visible (tips facing south). Spread the rice and gram on the leaves in an oval shape. Arrange the bones on the spread of rice. Place the bigger bones in the same order it was collected (from head to toe, with head facing south). Place the other pot with ashes next to the bones on the banana leaves. B. Light the lamp and udubathi. Arrange the betel leaf, nut, and fruits and place them near head side. The towel or the cloth is to be placed around the heap of bones and the mud pot with ashes. C. Take the Ganges water, mix it with tap water and sprinkle it over the bones followed by milk and water. Make sure that all the bones are soaked completely. Recite the names of Shiva, Narayana, Govinda or whatever name you or the deceased used to recite. D. Sprinkle the water on the betel leaf, rice, and fruits and offer it to the departed. Say the appropriate mantras (if known). Pindas to be placed on darbha. E. Perform the final aarti, anti-clockwise. F. The performer should place all the contents in one mud pot. Then, pour milk and water to the brim so that the contents are immersed with the liquid. 8 CREMATIONIST – Vol. 47, No. 2, Spring 2011 Why do a large number of people typically attend Hindu cremation services? Hindu’s have large families and also believe that all neighbors are part of that family and out of respect to the deceased they attend the service. Why do you start the fire? For closure, the custom comes from starting the pyre on the beach and witnessing the entire process. Who is responsible to start the fire? The son or brother of the deceased, or the person in charge of the last rites. What do you do with the remains? Within the first 10 days of the cremation the remains should be released in the sea or water so that there is no body remaining on earth and the soul can be released to the elements. Why the five-step process with the casket? It represents the five elements of the world and the same with circling the casket five times. Does the cremation have to be carried out by flame or could you use alternative forms of cremation such as resomation? Must be flame. We have witnessed different customs such as cutting of hair, breaking of clay pots. Where do these customs come? Just like in Christian religion, we have different forms of Hinduism that have their own traditions and customs. G. If it is done near the seaside, immerse the ashes in the sea by walking into the sea up to the chest with a supporter. When doing this, one is to look at the sun or turn east and offer a silent prayer to God requesting that peace be granted to the departed soul. The performer and others will take a bath in the sea, recite the names of God or offer a prayer before returning home. H. Clean the premises before you leave. Except for the utensils, pack up all the perishables and place them in the garbage bins. Nothing is to be taken back home. I. While doing the above in the crematorium, the attendants will assist in washing out the ashes and bones. Before returning home from the crematorium, take a bath. 3. On the 10th, 12th, 16th, 31st day, or any other day depending on family tradition, mourners will visit the Shiva or Vishnu temple to pray for a peaceful journey for the departed soul. Post Cremation Rites After leaving the crematorium the Karta offers three libations of water with sesame seeds. The Karta should abstain from shedding tears while giving the post cremation libations, because it is believed that the deceased has to consume all the tears. Whatever things that were brought from the home should be left behind or discarded and are not to be taken back home. The place should be kept clean. The mourners may then all go for bath in a river or sea chanting some bhajans or kirtans, with the youth walking ahead. The chief mourner may shave his head. If the sea bath is not possible then all the mourners should at least visit the beach, spend some time there and then return home. At the door of their houses they should chew neem leaves,
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Ritual - St. Michael's Cemetery

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