Parent Resource Guide (PDF) - Emerson College

Things to Expect
1. However Quietly,
They Miss You
Whether they want to admit it or not,
most students do experience some
homesickness. The myth of college,
however, holds that they should be
celebrating in their newfound freedom.
But even if they don’t tell you, they will
miss you. Don’t ask them if they are
homesick but be open to them when
sharing this revelation. Homesickness
usually hits hardest after the initial
wave of orientation activities subsides
and new students have more time on
their own to reflect.
2. Write (Even if They Don’t
Write Back)
Write as often as you can. Despite the
fact that they are starting a new phase
of their lives, students love to hear
from home. Send them stories from the
local paper, updates on family and
friends, news from their old schools,
etc. Be sure to send family pictures and
cards, and care packages if possible.
Email is an excellent way for students
to stay connected to their families, and
all Emerson students have email
accounts; most use Facebook and other
social media outlets.
3. Ask Questions (But Not
Too Many)
New students often resent interference
with their new lifestyles and freedom.
This is not to say that they don’t want
to know that you care or don’t want
you to know what is happening in their
lives. Try to ask open-ended questions
and listen with your heart as well as
your ears. Let them know that they can
share anything with you, but that you
won’t try to solve all of their problems
for them.
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4. Expect Change (But Not
Too Much)
Your student will change. This change
may happen rapidly, slowly, or
somewhere in between. This is often a
challenging process for both you and
your student. It is normal, and the best
advice is to be patient. There may be
times when your child wants to take on
the world by him- or herself and other
times when he or she will want you to
make everything better. By giving your
student space to change and by
supporting him or her through the
difficult choices, you show that you
trust him or her and encourage his or
her independence.
5. Expect Them to Be Anxious
at First
Parents often find themselves getting
phone calls where all the responses are
monosyllabic and others where
students unload all the frustrations and
anxieties that they are carrying. Once
again, be patient. Listen and withhold
judgment. This is easier said than done.
Try to steer your student to resources
on campus that might help solve his or
her problems. To assist with this, we
have provided a list of Campus
Resources in this guide.
6. Visit (But Not Too Often)
Always let your son or daughter know
when you are going to visit. Never
show up unannounced. Give notice, as
your student will take great pride in
showing you his or her campus and will
appreciate your interest in his or her
new environment. It is usually best to
wait until Family Weekend for your first
visit. This will give your student plenty
of time to clean his or her room.
7. With New Freedom Comes New
Responsibility
College is the dream of many parents,
the ultimate gift they can give their
children. Many families make enormous
sacrifices for this opportunity. It is
common for parents to remind their
students of this fact and may even tend
to resent it if this experience is not
utilized in the way it was intended. Try
to avoid this trap. Stress and workloads
are relative. So are the concepts of
freedom and responsibility. As easy and
carefree as you may perceive this time
to be for your student, he or she is
experiencing very real pressures and
stress. He or she will need support and
encouragement and may respond
negatively to hearing “how good he or
she has it.”
8. Trust Them
The process of gaining independence is
a difficult one, requiring a huge degree
of trust from parents. Trusting in the
decisions that your student will make
may require a great leap of faith. He or
she is not always open to the wisdom
gained through your years. Your own
experiences at this age may either
provide you some comfort or be cause
for additional concern. There is no easy
advice to give to parents of college
students. Patience really is a virtue. In
the end, you will need to trust them for
that is ultimately what is in your
control.
(Adapted from National Orientation
Director’s Association)