Burgh Song Book - Horntip

Page 16 Royal Burgh of Stirling Pipe Band Band Bus Song Book Page 5
George Micheal’s Faith
(Alternative)
When I caught you in the gents,
playing with parts of your body,
I know not everybody is a
wanker like you,
When I pulled out my cuffs, you
thought that I was kinky,
pulled out your tinky-winky said
what you gonna do!
You've got to reconsider your
foolish motion, pick your
underpants up off the floor.
I’ve got my squad car waiting,
stop mastur-bating, spread your
2 legs George and put your
hands against the wall!
Cos you had to masturbate woo
you had to masturbate!!
When they took you to the cells,
you said you wanted a favour,
you needed some toilet paper,
cos you messed your
underpants.
And when they took you to the
court, they said please raise
your right hand you said I’m
sorry I cant, cos I’ve got
wankers cramp.
I’ve got my squad car waiting
stop masturbating spread your 2
legs George and put your hands
against the wall, cos you had to
masturbate woo you had to
masturbate"!!!
Bestiality’s Best
Bestiality's best, boys,
Bestiality's best.(shag a
wallaby!)
Bestiality's best, boys,
Bestiality's best.
Have a screw with a shrew,
boys,
Have a screw with a shrew,
Have a screw with a shrew,
boys,
Have a screw with a shrew.
[Chorus]
Intercourse with a horse, boys,
Intercourse with a horse,
Intercourse with a horse, boys,
Intercourse with a horse
[Chorus]
Put your pole up a mole, boys,
Put your pole up a mole
Put your pole up a mole, boys,
Put your pole up a mole.
[Chorus]
Throw your muck up a duck,
boys,
Throw your muck up a duck,
Throw your muck up a duck,
boys,
Throw your muck up a duck.
[Chorus]
Stick your log up a dog, boys,
Stick your log up a dog,
Stick your log up a dog, boys,
Stick your log up a dog.
[Chorus]
Sam the Skull
I'm a cat, I'm a cat, I'm a Glesga
cat and my name is Sam the
Skull.
I've got claws in ma paws like a
crocodiles jaws and a heid like a
fermers bull.
I'm no the kind o' cat that sits
oan the mat nor the kind that
you gie a hug
I'm the kind o' cat that strangles
the rats and even the
occasional dug.
I roam aroon doon in
Shettlestoon where they a' know
me by sight
"Here's the Skull here's the
Skull" you can hear them yell as
they vanish into the night.
The polis station doon oor way
has baurs oan the windae sull
It's no tae keep the prisoners in
its tae keep oot Sam the Skull.
[Chorus]
Well one fine day no so long
ago when they a' had had their
full
They sent for the S.S.P.C.A. tae
come and catch the Skull
There’s naebody kin get oot
while he's roamin aboot chasin'
a' the weans up the close,
peein' oan the stairs scratchin'
his erse and sittin there pickin'
his nose.
[Chorus]
Well oot came aboot hauf past
ten in their wee blue Escort van
Right roon the back, wan wae a
sack and wan wae a mallet in
his haund.
I watched them run roon the
back o' the hoose and I casually
strolled to the van
Jumped in the front, I was off,
everything had gone to plan.
[Chorus]
Now you'll hear them them say
doon Shettlestoon way,
"Whatever happened tae Sam
the Skull ?"
He had claws in his paws like a
crocodiles jaws and a heid like a
fermers bull
Well you can tell them from me
that I'm still runnin' free and
never a day is dull
It might sound absurd but I'm
livin wae a burd in a single end
in Maryhill.
[Chorus]
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