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Former Lake Geneva resident subject of Masterpiece TV series

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The Beacon also at www.readthebeacon.com March 22, 2013 — 11<br />

New car is hypnotizing,<br />

and can sniff out donuts<br />

By Celia Rivenbark<br />

I bought a new car this week. My<br />

beloved convertible had developed an<br />

unfixable leak and I was sick <strong>of</strong> vacuuming<br />

out inches <strong>of</strong> water and waiting for carpet<br />

that smelled like basketball feet to dry<br />

out.<br />

I didn’t<br />

want to put an<br />

ad on Craig’s<br />

List only to<br />

have somebody<br />

buy it<br />

and come back<br />

to my house<br />

the next week<br />

wanting a full<br />

refund plus all<br />

the bacon in<br />

my refrigerator.<br />

Which<br />

would totally<br />

have been deserved,<br />

by the way.<br />

Celia Rivenbark<br />

So I decided that the only fair thing to<br />

do would be to trade it in to a dealer.<br />

Dealers are used to dealing with unhappy<br />

customers, the kind who would return a<br />

car like mine and whine about how the car<br />

needs “brakes that work,” “windows that<br />

go up and down” and “other mechanical<br />

necessities.”<br />

I didn’t need the hassle so I did the<br />

only honorable thing and traded the car in<br />

with full disclosure about its flaws (honestly).<br />

Duh Hubby <strong>of</strong>fered to go with me but<br />

I told him that wouldn’t be necessary. The<br />

days <strong>of</strong> a woman needing a man to go with<br />

her to the car dealership to make sure she<br />

didn’t get hoo-doo’ed were a thing <strong>of</strong> the<br />

past. Things are different now, I told Duh.<br />

For heaven’s sake, Danica Patrick’s on the<br />

pole at Daytona, I told him. No, not that<br />

pole, I added when he looked confused.<br />

Fast forward a few hours and I’m not<br />

sure what happened. I walked into the<br />

dealership a confident, educated consumer<br />

and came out skipping and giggly over the<br />

fact that the front seats in my new car are<br />

heated AND cooled. I went into the dealership<br />

armed with facts and bottom lines and<br />

no small amount <strong>of</strong> research and came out<br />

squealing, “You had me at cooler inside<br />

the glove compartment!”<br />

Who ever heard <strong>of</strong> such wonderfulness?<br />

I signed lots <strong>of</strong> pieces <strong>of</strong> paper (“sign<br />

here ... and here ... oh, and here ... and just<br />

one more ...”) and read none <strong>of</strong> them. It’s<br />

nothing short <strong>of</strong> a miracle that one <strong>of</strong> them<br />

wasn’t headlined “Agreement to Advertise<br />

New Car Sale by Standing Outside<br />

Dealership Wearing Nothing But Chaps<br />

and Coconut Bra.”<br />

The salesman could tell he was dealing<br />

with a literate, informed consumer so he<br />

showed me how you can download an app<br />

that will let the car know when the hot<br />

doughnut sign comes on at the nearest<br />

Krispy Kreme store.<br />

America, she’s a great country.<br />

I was a horrible negotiator and they<br />

could smell it on me. Or maybe that was<br />

just the basketball feet. Either way, I failed<br />

to get a good deal but I did get a great car.<br />

A car that can find hot doughnuts.<br />

Paperwork done, I drove <strong>of</strong>f the lot and<br />

cast a quick glance back at my nine-yearold<br />

convertible all alone under a sodium<br />

vapor light and looking like the world’s<br />

most depressing car ad. I’ll miss “Sally.”<br />

Until the next time it rains.<br />

Celia Rivenbark is the author <strong>of</strong> the<br />

New York Times best-seller, “You Don’t<br />

Sweat Much for a Fat Girl.”<br />

SATURDAY, APRIL 13 • GAINING AWARENESS<br />

SUNDAY, APRIL 14 • CREATING INTENT & FOCUSED ACTION<br />

8:30 a.m. - 5:00 p.m.<br />

Cost (lunch included): Saturday & Sunday $ 199<br />

(Early Registration before March 15, $ 175)<br />

Saturday or Sunday Only $ 125<br />

(Early Registration before March 15, $ 99)<br />

To register or get more information, go to:<br />

www.essential-yoga.net/about.html or call 262-949-YOGA (9642)<br />

Kym Moore, Branch Manger <strong>of</strong> Educators Credit Union in Elkhorn receives a<br />

plaque from Paul Yakowenko, Walworth County Firefighters Association P<strong>resident</strong> and<br />

firefighter with Bloomfield Fire and Rescue. (Photo furnished)<br />

Firefighters Association recognizes<br />

ECU for use <strong>of</strong> WCFA Smokehouse<br />

The Walworth County Firefighters<br />

Association recently recognized local<br />

businesses for their proactive approach to<br />

promoting fire and life safety through the<br />

use <strong>of</strong> the association’s Fire Safety<br />

Smokehouse and Sprinkler Demonstration<br />

Trailer. A certificate plaque was presented<br />

to Kym Moore for having the W.C.F.A.<br />

Smokehouse at each <strong>of</strong> the last six annual<br />

block parties sponsored by Educators<br />

Credit Union each year.<br />

“This shows that they care about the<br />

Fire Safety <strong>of</strong> children as well as adults in<br />

their community” says Paul Yakowenko<br />

P<strong>resident</strong> <strong>of</strong> the association for the past 18<br />

years. “They are doing their part to keep<br />

the community safe from the dangers <strong>of</strong><br />

smoke and fire by having us demonstrate<br />

what happens when fire strikes and what to<br />

do and not to do. We accomplish this<br />

through the use <strong>of</strong> our Smokehouse at<br />

events like theirs and it is a very value able<br />

tool. They are a very community orientated<br />

organization and we are grateful to<br />

them for that.”<br />

This year the Block Party is scheduled<br />

for May 18 from 12-3 p.m. at the Elkhorn<br />

Business Centre Parking Lot.<br />

Mercy Walworth Hospital to<br />

<strong>of</strong>fer Zumba and yoga classes<br />

Mercy Walworth Hospital and<br />

Medical Center now <strong>of</strong>fers Zumba and<br />

Yoga fitness classes in its community<br />

education rooms.<br />

Zumba classes will take place on<br />

Tuesdays from 6-7 p.m. Zumba incorporates<br />

the hottest Latin dances and<br />

rhythms from around the world. In this<br />

class, participants will rev up their cardiovascular<br />

fitness and let their hips fly,<br />

proving it’s possible to sweat and have<br />

fun at the same time.<br />

Hatha Yoga classes will take place<br />

on Thursdays from 6-7 p.m. Hatha<br />

Yoga emphasizes relaxation and<br />

stress reduction, while toning and<br />

creating a lasting mind and strong<br />

body connection. It uses traditional<br />

breathing patterns to quiet the mind<br />

and soothe the soul. Attendees should<br />

take a Yoga mat.<br />

The cost for 10 classes is $60, 5<br />

classes is $30 and 3 classes is $18.<br />

Registration and punch card purchase<br />

are required prior to beginning classes.<br />

Anyone who wants to register should<br />

call (608) 756-6100 or (888) 39-<br />

MERCY.<br />

Featuring Natural & Organic Products from<br />

• Earth Friendly • Seventh Generation<br />

• Nordic Naturals • Carlson • Enzymatic Therapy<br />

• New Chapter and much more!<br />

PLAZA PHARMACY<br />

603 E. <strong>Geneva</strong> Street, Elkhorn, WI<br />

(262) 723-8444 • Fax (262) 723-8760

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