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The Rebbetzin
Continued from Page 11
to people.
“The rebbetzin was a person that
you felt comfortable telling her
everything,” said hadassah Carlebach.
“She listened and showed
concern, and asked me how things
[were] going. [She] made me feel
very good, and comforted me many
times.”
Following her arrival to the united
States after the holocaust, Carlebach
went to the rebbetzin for advice.
“I needed to help feed the family, so
I started teaching,” said Carlebach.
“I told her how hard it was for me,
and she encouraged me.
“when I mentioned, ‘I don’t think
I’m cut out for it,’ “ the rebbetzin
expressed her understanding, but
then added, “ ‘while you’re doing it,
do [your] best,’ “ continued Carlebach.
“ ‘She said do the best you can.
whatever you are doing at that point,
do the best that you can do.”
Indeed, Carlebach persisted, and
excelled at teaching for 20 years.
louise hager, who is now a businesswoman
living in london, related
the first conversation she had with
the rebbetzin at age 14: The rebbetzin
wanted to know, “what did
I enjoy? what were the subjects?
who were my friends? She showed
great interest.
“I have to admit, never having been
a particularly keen student, I came
away wanting to give her something,
wanting to impress her, wanting to
give her some good news,” added
hager. “So I started to write to
her.”
Doing so turned out to be a big
incentive to do better: “I made an
effort to try and do well in school.”
“The rebbetzin would relate to
anyone, even to the [little] children,”
said lew. “She would say [to the little
ones], ‘Come to Doda [aunt].’”
One time, the rebbetzin asked lew’s
son to sing a Chasidic melody known
as a nigun.
“he sang a [slow introspective
Chabad tune] and she had tears
glistening in her eyes,” said lew.
“he said, ‘Do you know it?’
“She answered, ‘It’s my father’s song
[known as “the beinoni”].’ “
life’s Partner
In honor of 20 years since the rebbetzin’s
passing, Jewish educational
Media released a new DvD featuring
interviews with people who knew
her.
“’you know, my husband comes
home very late,’” Gorlin-lassner said
the rebbetzin told her at the end of
their meeting in (the mid-1980’s).
“’he sometimes comes home [at]
two, three in the morning. and when
he comes home, I am going to have
so much to say to him’” about the
meeting.
“They would have dinner together,”
said weiss, referring to that time
as the rebbe and the rebbetzin’s
“private tea party.”
Carlebach was amazed that the
rebbetzin steadfastly waited up for
the rebbe.
“I don’t know how many wives would
The Rebbe of Kotzk
Continue from Page 9
the many reasons for this custom
is one that has an important life
lesson.
to use a bow and arrow effectively,
the shooter must first pull the bow
towards himself. Once the bow is
pulled as far back as possible, the
arrow can be released with significant
force and hopefully meets its
target quickly and accurately.
The only effective way to change
other people is to begin with ourselves
The lesson here is simple but
powerful. In order to conquer and
affect the world around us we must
first move inwards. when we look
deeply into our own soul, realizing
the amazing potential that we possess,
only then can we influence
others.
February 13, 2009 ~ CROWN HEIGHTS NEWSpapER 13
stay up [regularly] till 4:00 in the
morning and wait for their husband
to come home from [meetings] in
order to ensure that he wouldn’t be
eating by himself,” she said.
Those few involved in the rebbe
and the rebbetzin’s medical care
emphasized how each one tried to
shield the other from painful news.
They would also call doctors on the
other’s behalf.
“The rebbetzin would always call
my father on behalf of the rebbe,
and the rebbe would always call my
father on behalf of the rebbetzin,”
said Shemtov. “each one always
called for the other.”
hager said that she learned about the
importance of human relationships
from the rebbetzin.
“valuing people for what they are,
not knocking them, building them
up, trying to bring out the best in
people, the positive thinking: Those
are all things that she lived by,” said
hager. “and that’s an example for us:
looking at the glass being half full,
not half empty.”
The rebbe of kotzk once said:
“when I was younger I thought
I would change the world. I then
decided that I would work on my
city, and later concentrated just on
my family. but now I have decided
just to try and change myself.” I do
not believe the kotzker rebbe meant
that he would work only on himself
and ignore others. after all, he led a
big community and was responsible
for thousands of followers. what he
was saying is that the only effective
way to change other people is to
begin with ourselves.
Improving our own character and
personality is within our control.
we choose to progress or stagnate,
to become angry or stay calm, to give
or to hold back. we cannot control
other people, but we can influence
them by moving inwards. Changing
ourselves will change others.
HEAP
The HEAP Program Outreach Workers
The scheduled appointments are on
TUESDAY, February 17 -- 9:15 AM--3:30 PM.
at the Crown Heights Jewish Community Council,
387 Kingston Avenue (corner Crown St.).
Please come early -- First come, first served
GREAT NEWS. The outreach workers will accept BOTH regular
and emergency applications. (To apply for emergency heap you
must have a shut-off notice.)