LIghts

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Introduction I was searching for someone to write an introduction to this collection of my writings titled Lights till I realized that I myself was the fittest person to introduce this collection as I have the best insight about the motivation behind these works. As a whole these writings reflect my journey through the maze of life by which I refer to the constant evolution of my thoughts, feelings and beliefs as they form and reform as a result of constant growth. This growth does not come in a day, nor should it ever stop. When it stops, a person stagnates. Now, most of my writings are pessimistic, dark and even fatalistic. This is due to the fact that these were written in a period of great depression in my life. I was brought up, by and large, by my grandparents. They were people of high cultural and intellectual richness and imbibed in me the highest ideals of humanity as they saw it. But it was my inability to live according to those high ideals which created a great conflict within my self, which ultimately took many years to resolve. The greatest reason behind this feeling was violence which was induced and was aided by an unstable temperament and impulsiveness. But to be candid, I even as a child was difficult to deal with. From outwards I was aggressive, extrovert and hard but inside I was highly sensitive, soft and vulnerable. I had not reached the maturity of realizing the shallowness of the general standards as set down upon us by various forms of authority and portrayed myself according to those standards. I don’t know whether my grandfather had foreseen the great conflict and crisis of conscience that would eventually result when he named me Vivek (it means conscience). With the coming of adolescence the situation worsened. I sought refuge in intoxicants to escape the depression that is inextricably linked with such a conflict, which further compounded the problems. I found solace in the preoccupation with evil as exemplified by Byron and Nietzsche. But whatever I did I could not escape my conscience and the moral anguish remained. After a point in time the inevitable happened. The conflict between my conscience and my actions reached its highest point and fortunately for me my conscience prevailed. I renounced my former self and all that goes with it. Rousseau once said “Man is born free but everywhere he is in chains” which is interpreted by some to be testimony of the fact that society corrupts individual goodness. Empirically that too will be my conclusion. So, I name this collection Lights as it reflects the initial flickering of hope and light that I so desperately sought in the darkest days of my life to the present realization that happiness comes from within. The journey from Inferno through Chiaroscuro Purgatorio to Paradiso.
Black Rose It blows in the air, A lone face stands out in the fair. It does not like its existence Life has been nothing but a sarcastic scorn, He curses the day he was born. That’s the black rose, Got an addiction for overdose Of pain Everything's lost, nothing to gain. "Bloody God", he says, "Nothing is true", Everything isn't what it appears to be Nowhere to go to, Black, cos' circumstances made him so. Lost all hope No one understood his love, Betrayed and fooled by everyone he believed, How long can he cope? He loves no fun, Somewhere in between lost his laughter, Now he stands on the ledge, Needs just one step further. Dreams Broken, Hopes Shattered. - Third Quarter,2000
Page 2 and 3: This work is licensed under the Cre
Page 4 and 5: 2. Fair Dealing Rights. Nothing in
Page 6 and 7: 5. Representations, Warranties and
Page 10 and 11: You destroy yourself, In search for
Page 12 and 13: The Search Surrounded by people, I
Page 14 and 15: First Anti-Christ In the calm valle
Page 16 and 17: The Decision Dark clouds loom over
Page 18 and 19: Alone we are born:on the road Wet p
Page 20 and 21: A few lines of meaningless abstract
Page 22 and 23: The wisest are fools The silent con
Page 24 and 25: On A Chilly Wintry Afternoon As I s
Page 26 and 27: Medley / \ Haphazard Thoughts Froze
Page 28 and 29: Broken dreams, Frustrated hopes Sil
Page 30 and 31: Desire As soon as I saw you, your e
Page 32 and 33: To be dreaming is a sweet intoxicat
Page 34 and 35: Miscellaneous Lyrics I Sandstorm Wh
Page 36 and 37: I’ve had enough, it’s over No,
Page 38 and 39: Back in Black Blinded by the blizza
Page 40 and 41: Frustration, disappointment, expect
Page 42 and 43: Hope The evening breeze, refreshing
Page 44 and 45: Maybe she will talk to me Maybe she
Page 46 and 47: Once The pleasant dream is over At
Page 48 and 49: Sigh Empty pages There’s only you
Page 50 and 51: Valorous Ghosts The glories of yest
Page 52 and 53: The Voice Animesh Sen awoke from hi
Page 54 and 55: The Obscure Meaning ‘Madneso mode
Page 56 and 57: The Nomad He is quite a strange cre
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Epigrams Fragments of Wisdom I It i
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So what have all these great master
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which itself depends on time and sp
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for a considerable amount of time t
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But if thou is? Why do people hate
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