Winter 2010 - Ascott-under-Wychwood

TOO MANY COOKS
Does the BBC promote gluttony, one er. He liked to talk in English about
of the seven deadly sins condemned by Greek philosophy. One story he told
the church? I asked this because there me of Socrates. It was said Socrates
cannot be many days go by when there had a nagging wife. After a row one
aren’t at least two programmes about day she broke a water pot over his
cooking on the television. This annoys head. Socrates is supposed to have
and amuses me. It annoys me because said, ‘After the thunder comes the
the BBC must think I have a fortune to rain.’ If you detect some left wing
spend on the food they prepare. It views in my writing, then you ought to
amuses me because if you cooked the be a detective. In my younger days I
way they do, you would have a sink was often told to go and live in Russia.
full of pots and pans that would take I would like to say I have never been a
longer to wash up than to eat the meal. left winger. I would admit to being an
I have some experience in cooking. inside left, sometimes in the old W
Over fifty years ago I worked in the formation. I wonder how many of you
Officers Mess in Cyprus whilst doing know what I am talking about!
my National Service. There I could use Returning to the BBC and cooking
as many utensils as I wished. There – do we eat to live or live to eat? It’s a
was always some poor Cypriot to do wonder the whole country doesn’t suf-
the washing up.
fer from deep depression, indigestion
I would like to digress for a while. and heartburn. I overcome depression
Before going ashore in Cyprus us by, whenever I hear the opening bars
squaddies were given a pep talk by the of EASTENDERS, I quickly reach for
C.O. It went along the lines of this. the off switch. I would like to put my
Now look here chaps, when you get foot through the screen but that would
ashore you will find most of the people be too costly.
very friendly, but always remember In a few short years, if things re-
they are not as good as you. This gave main as they are, I will no longer have
some of the men I served with, who to pay a T.V. license. So I will then
came from some of the no go areas of have no right to criticise the B.B.C.
our large cities, the idea, whoever the Then I shall slump back on the sofa
Cypriot they met, they could address like a great lump of pudding, eating
them as Wog. Sometimes I had diffi- junk food, and having mind numbing
culty in doing this. Most Cypriots I met cooking programmes, etc. on televi-
could speak English. I could speak no sion to watch.
Greek. One man I met who worked as
a waiter in the Mess, had been a teach-
Fred Russell
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