Issue 16.pdf - Treating Yourself

yellow mushrooms
Leucocoprinus birnbaumii,
aka Lepiota lutea
With a jeweler’s loupe you can see
the clear crystal trichomes just
busting at their bulbous rims with
THC resinousiness, and the white
hairs will mostly have turned a
dark flat red. That is when I chop
one down and begin this simple
process.
I’ll turn on some good music and
hang each plant upside down and
remove any yellow leaves by hand,
then I’ll trim off all the water
leaves at the base of the stem and
let these leaves fall to the ground
where I’ll dispose of them later.
The rest of the leaves that are all
covered in downy trichomes will
be carefully removed from the
freshly harvested bud monsters
and get placed on a clean rack to
dry for hash-making later. This
method creates the cleanest burning
medicine by removing any possible
nitrogen source from the
buds to reabsorb; each plant will
then be hung in a dark room with
a ceiling fan on low. Twine or fishing
line stretched from wall to wall
will hang 25 plants with ease.
Four to seven days later, depending
on the temperature and humidity
levels, I will trim each bud
from the main stalk until I’ve filled
1/2 of a 5 gallon bucket loosely
with buds. After, I will turn and
dump the bucket several times a
day for a day or two or until the
buds have their characteristic
shape and become slightly
crunchy. This is where I’ll lose
some of you hardcore bud connoisseurs
because I hate glass jars!
Sure, glass is a perfect seal, but it
is also heavy. I’ve had buds mold
in jars many times because I put a
jar away before it was completely
cured then forgot about it and by
the time I found it I just had to
throw the whole jar away, moldy
buds and all! I’ve never lost buds
put in tins, ever! I love tins, cookie
tins, dog-bone tins, Metallica tins,
pin-up girl tins, Moon Pie tins,
Coca-Cola tins, you name it. I love
the tins because they never mold
buds, never break, don’t weigh
much and can be placed all over
your home without anyone even
guessing they are filled with buds.
I think they breathe just well
enough to give the perfect cure.
Tins rock! They are the ultimate in
reliability and recyclability.
After a few weeks, you can feel the
intensity rise and it will peak
GROW
around a month. This is when
Buds are perfectly ready to be
enjoyed, smoked and savored.
This is also the reason that it is
imperative that all human beings
should have a constant, fresh supply
of marijuana no different than
dairy, meat or vegetable products
that are currently available 365
days a year. Marijuana is a perishable
item just like eggs and should
be graded, certified and cared for
in the same fashion. The image of
growing a million dollars worth of
weed and retiring to paradise goes
completely against the model I’ve
just outlined here. I’m living in
paradise now, because my bud
room is always 78 degrees and
sunny, just like paradise.
Happy winter harvests!!!
Peace and Buds,
Treating Yourself, Issue 16 - 2009 - 89