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This weeks Parsha Acharei Mot - Kedoshim
AVOIDING HATRED BETWEEN JEWS
You shall not hate your brother in your heart; you should reprove your
fellow and do not bear a sin because of him (Kedoshim 19:17)
Why does the Torah combine in one pasuk the prohibition of hating
another Jew with the command to reprove him?
There are two basic approaches in the interpretation of the verse cited
above. Some commentators explain the verse as relating to matters
which are bein adam l'Makom, between man and Hashem. If a Jew
observes another Jew transgressing any one of the mitzvos, it is
incumbent upon the observer to reprove the sinner in regard to his sin.
Failure to do so will ultimately result in hating the sinner, since it is
permitted [under certain circumstances] to hate a Jew who
purposefully and deliberately disregards the commands of the Torah.
Rebuke, therefore, is the means through which hatred of another Jew
can be avoided, since rebuke may be the impetus for the potential
transgressor to change his ways. [The halachos concerning the
proper method of rebuke are intricate and not the subject of this
discussion.]
Many other commentators, however, suggest a different approach in
explaining this verse. The command to "reprove your fellow" is written
in regard to matters which are bein adam l'chaveiro, matters which
concern the relationship between man and his fellowman. The Torah,
which prohibits a Jew from hating another Jew, is teaching us why
hatred may develop and how to avoid it. Often, ill will is a result of
miscommunication or misunderstanding. When not resolved
immediately and in a straightforward manner, minor run-ins or
disagreements can grow into major conflicts, leading to friction and
hostility among Jews. To prevent this from happening, the Torah
commands, "You should reprove your fellow," meaning, you should
approach the person whom you feel has wronged you and question
him as to why he did so, whether he can justify his actions, etc.
Most of the time, the questioning will yield one of the following
outcomes: The alleged incident never took place; it was either
completely fabricated or greatly exaggerated.
The incident did happen but it was not the intention or fault of the
accused.
The offender will sincerely apologize for his misdeed, the incident will
be forgotten, and peace will be restored.
The offender will justify his actions to the satisfaction of the injured
party.
Any of the above outcomes will usually resolve the dispute and relieve
the tension. Thus by questioning and reproving the person who [in
your opinion] hurt you, one can allay much of the hatred that is
unfortunately prevalent among some Jews.
The notion of avoiding hatred by reproving one's friend is not merely a
"nice idea" based upon an explanation of a pasuk in the Torah. It is a
halachic obligation agreed upon by all of the poskim, from the
Rambam down to the Mishnah Berurah.
Of course, one who can bring himself to forgive his fellowman without
rebuking him, may do so. [The Rambam refers to this conduct as
middas chasidus, exemplary behavior]. The requirement to confront
the offender applies only when otherwise, hatred will result between
the parties.
When rebuking a fellow Jew, the rebuke must be delivered in a gentle,
conciliatory manner and in private.
If, after properly rebuking the offender, the latter remains antagonistic
and refuses to apologize, it is then permitted for the injured party to
hate the person who did him harm.
(source Rabbi Doniel Neustadt)
R' Simcha Bunim Sofer z"l (The "Shevet Sofer")
R' Simcha Bunim Sofer was born in Pressburg, Hungary (now
Bratslava, Slovakia) in 1843. He was the son of the "Ketav Sofer" (R'
Avraham Shmuel Binyamin Sofer) and the grandson of the "Chatam
Sofer" (R' Moshe Sofer), and he followed his father and grandfather
as head of the great yeshiva in Pressburg.
It was said that R' Sofer differed from his father in that the latter was
distinguished by his careful, painstaking logic while the former was
distinguished by his sharp mind. In this way, it was said, the younger
R' Sofer was like his great-grandfather, R' Akiva Eiger. R' Sofer left
behind 35 volumes of writings covering both halachic and aggadic
topics. His son, R' Akiva Sofer, expressed wonder that his father had
the time to compose these works while heading the Pressburg
yeshiva and (unofficially) heading Hungarian Orthodox Jewry.
During R' Sofer's tenure, the Pressburg yeshiva continued to be the
premier Torah institution in Hungary as it had been for two
generations before. R' Sofer also continued his father's work in
combating, both in the public arena and on a personal level, the
inroads that the Reform movement was making in Hungary. It is told
that R' Sofer once approached a Jewish banker and urged him to
close his bank on Shabbat. The banker refused saying that he was
not observant and did not believe in the practical mitzvot. "If you will
not do it because of your fear of Heaven," said R' Sofer, "do it out of
shame."
"Shame?" smiled the banker. "Why is it shameful not to be
observant?'
R' Sofer answered him: "The Sages say that if one has no shame, we
may be certain that his ancestors were not present at the giving of the
Torah at Har Sinai. How can we be certain? The Torah records that
all of the Jews answered as one, 'Na'aseh ve'nishmah' / 'We will do
and we will listen.' Don't you think that among the millions of Jews
there must have been at least a few who did not want to receive the
Torah? Why then did the Jews answer 'as one'? Because those who
did not want to observe the mitzvot were ashamed to stand out. Had
they not had this shame, they would simply have walked away from
Har Sinai."
R' Sofer died on 15 Kislev 5667 (1906). (Sources Shlomo Katz)
(continued from last column)
(Source :Rabbi Neustadt)
Join StandWithUs, and the Israeli American Council celebrates Israel's
65th Independence Day with Israel Walk Festival, Rancho Park April
21st MEMBERSHIP DRIVE 2013-2014 * 5773 - 5774 Annual
membership begins July 1, 20123 Single Membership = 1 High
Holiday ticket Family Membership = 2 High Holiday tickets.
Membership gives you a discount prices for extra High Holiday tickets
and for other Holiday events. Membership and information packets
are being mailed soon. Prices are the same as last year. Please fill
out the information forms and return with your payment in the
enclosed envelopes provided. Our data base needs updating with
your correct: addresses, phone numbers, e-mails, children’s info and
Yahrzeit / Haskavah info. All forms will be available on the CMD
weekly e-mail, on our website, and in the shul. See the Rabbi/call the
office for available payment plans NOTE: ALL OUTSTANDING
BALANCES MUST BE PAID IN FULL PRIOR TO RENEWING
MEMBERSHIP.
. Participants arrive by 8:30am. The 1.5 miles walk starts at
9:00am from 25501 Motor Ave and ends at the festival entrance. Bring
a banner or posters to represent your synagogue–Walkers must
register online@ www.celebrateisraelfestival.com/walk
Torah Aliyah: Members and Friends; while every effort is made to
ensure that all members and everyone needing an Aliyah receive
one in a systematic way, Inevitably someone may be over-looked.
If so, our apologies. If you feel you have not received an Aliyah in
a while, or need an obligatory Aliyah coming, Contact the Rabbi
or the office and we will make the necessary arrangements.
Please refrain from talking during davening to make your tefillot meaningful.