Team 19! - Eighth Army - U.S. Army

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FEATURE Couples rev up their love tanks during retreat Love speaks many languages Pfc. Adrianna N. Lucas 19th ESC Public Affairs The 19 th Expeditionary Sustainment Command chaplain’s office hosted a marriage retreat at the Hilton Hotel in Gyeongju to help couples understand the five languages of love and to help build a better base for expressing that love to one’s spouse Dec. 10-11. Leading author in biblical marriage counseling, Dr. Gary Chapman, wrote the book “The Five Love Languages,” which explain that couples don’t always express love in the same way and sometimes one’s “love language” may sound more like a foreign language and the message can often be misinterpreted. The 19 th ESC Family Life Chaplain Maj. Jeffery Dillard opened class by asking couples, “What does your spouse do that makes you feel loved?” The five love languages are touch, acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time and gifts. If one spouse’s primary love language is touch, that person may express love through kissing or holding one’s partner but if the other spouse’s primary love language is acts of service, his or her partner may not understand the significance of the gesture because love is seen as the sacrifices one makes to better the life of the partner or family. “I believe often times when people love someone in the language that they understand and when they feel it is not being received because of expectations, they tend to feel alienated, like an outsider or misunderstood,” said Sgt. Andre Gambrell, 19 th ESC, Chaplain’s Assistant and also a facilitator of the retreat. Each couple was able to identify his or her partner’s primary love language and no husband and wife shared the same primary love Photo by Pfc. Adrianna N. Lucas In the “Five Love Languages” class, Pfc. Luis A. Moncada, 19th ESC DFAC, gazes in to his wife’s eyes and tells her what she does that makes him feel loved. From there, all the spouses share with their significant others what exactly it is that they do to make their spouse feel loved. language. Thus they had to communicate and compromise to meet their spouse’s need of love. Couples participated in group and couples’ exercises. In group exercises, couples would share personal experiences to show how they resolved a similar conflict in their relationships and developed understanding that they’re not alone, that many couples share the same relationship struggles. In couples’ exercises, couples would check their “love tanks” to see how full they were and how to better fill the love needs. The goal was not to go from an empty tank to a full one, but to evaluate where their tanks were at, where they wanted them to be, and how they can communicate and compromise to achieve filling their tanks. “During the retreat, couples had a hunger and thirst to find the answers of how to better love one another,” said Gambrell. “Their attentiveness and desire to even skip breaks and carry on with class let me know our goal of understanding was being reached.” Team 19! Newsletter 14 Dec. 18, 2009
FEATURE Family Life Chaplain Maj. Jeffrey D. Dillard is originally from Waterloo, S.C., which he refers to as just a speck on the map. He started the first eight years of his career as an enlisted National Guardsmen serving in South Carolina, Missouri, and Alabama. He spent five years on active duty at Fort Drum, N.Y., and 12 as a chaplain. Sgt. Andre L. Gambrell says every day Dillard walks into his office with a pleasant smile on his face ready to conduct his mission in ministry as the family life chaplain. Though he stands at 6 feet 3 inches tall and is pretty physically fit, many people say he is very approachable with his soft spoken voice, light brown hair and green eyes. Dillard said he tends to be very introverted and would love to spend every day with headphones over his ears and a notebook in hand. However, he said he is very enthusiastic when helping Soldiers with individual, work and family issues. Q1. Why did you join the Army? I wanted to serve Soldiers and families. I believe that the military life is very stressful and that a genuine relationship with God through Jesus Christ is the answer to peace, direction, and strength for such stresses. I chose to start as an enlisted man so I would know what it’s like to walk a mile in their shoes. Q2. What has been your most memorable duty assignment and why? So far, our assignment in Germany was most memorable. It was my first deployment, and the small community really exemplified why it was most memorable. The unit and community (11th AVN in Illesheim) had a take care of each other spirit. Q3. Why did you become a chaplain? I love everything about the military: physical training, the structure, moving, deployments (don’t remind my wife), working with people from different backgrounds. But, what I enjoy most about being a chaplain is the possibility of encouraging others in the person and work of Jesus Christ. I do not proselytize (try to forcibly change others to my way of thinking and living). But since you ask, I cannot deny the source of my hope and joy. Q4. What do you do in your leisure time? In my off time I enjoy doing just about anything with my family: ping-pong, swimming, racquetball, trying new places outside the gate, snuggling with my wife, working out, playing rhythm guitar, and professional reading and writing on the subjects of counseling and theology. Q5. Why do you find these things so leisurely? I probably do these things to express parts of myself that I have to suspend during the duty day. Even my professional reading and writing are personal passions that I don’t always have time to complete at work. Chaplain Dillard Q6. What would you like for people to know about you? Professionally, I want everyone to know that I’m the 19th’s family life chaplain. First and foremost, the chief of chaplains, my corp’s major general at the Defense of Army sends family life chaplains to train and supervise unit chaplains in counseling. DA has provided FLCs with an additional master’s degree in counseling, and I absolutely love what I do. My experience as a counselor has included hundreds of hours of therapy with violent children, grieving field grade officers, rape victims, both women and men, blended families, and on and on. My desire, and the chief of chaplain’s intent, is that I train the other chaplains in the same abilities. Personally, I want you to know that I’m pretty transparent. So if you ask me “how are you doing, chaplain?” I’ll tell you. So I appreciate candor in others, too. I enjoy deep conversations, dry and silly humor, and people who want to have genuine relationships. I value group work - not just the top-down direction of the Army structure, which I very much respect, but also the peerto-peer work and ‘grassroots’ feedback that has made our country great. You should probably also know that my vision is only correctible to 20-50 because of an undeveloped optic nerve, which is a birth defect, and I have virtually no night vision. So, if I don’t say ‘hi’ from a distance or in a long-shaded hallway, I probably have no idea who you are. And, because I tend to think very deeply and abstractly, you might pass right in front of me and notice a glazed look in my eye. I’m just running through possibilities in my mind. Come on over, shake me (gently) out of my stupor, and we can talk. Team 19! Newsletter 15 Dec. 18, 2009
Page 1 and 2: ‘09 Winter Formal 19th ESC celebr
Page 3 and 4: CG MESSAGE Headquarters, 19th Exped
Page 5 and 6: NEWS 19th ESC HHC greets new comman
Page 7 and 8: NEWS Community sounds of charity co
Page 9 and 10: PHOTO PAGE 2009 Winter Formal photo
Page 11 and 12: By Pfc. Adrianna N. Lucas 19th ESC
Page 13: FEATURE Ms. Park’s Place Ms. Park
Page 17 and 18: EDITORIAL The Army Distributed Lear
Page 19: • • • • • Submit your sto

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