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- No one fcils c closs cnymcfe, ne's merely 'possing
impoired."
- You don'i hove deienfion, you're jusi one of ihe"exii Celcyed.,'
- Your bedroom isn'f ctutlered. il s just possoge restricf ive.',
- These doys, o siudeni isn'i lozy. He's "energeticclly Ceclined."
- Kids don'l get groundecj onyrnore. They merely hil "socicl speed bumps.,,
- Your homewcrk isn'i missing, i1's jusi hoving on "out-of-notebook experience.,,
- You're nol sleeping in cicss, you're 'rc'lioning
consciousness."
- You're noi lole, ycu lusl hcve o 'rescheduled
crrivol iime."
No one's toil onymore. He's "veriicolly enhcnced."
You're noi !hy. You'fe "ccnversciionally selecl;ve.''
Yol don'l iclk o lot.. You'r'e jusi "abundonlly verbcl
- You weren't pcssing noles in cicss. You were "poriicipoiing in the discreet exchonge of pennec rnediloiions."
- You re nol being senl io ihe principol's office. Yor.; r'e "going cn o mondotory fieid trip io the odministrciive
-
blilding.',
li 5 noi colled gossip onymore. l1's "the speedy fransmission of neor-fcciuol informoiion."
- The food o1 ihe school cofeieriq isn'iowful, ii's 'digesii'rely
chollenged."
I DIDN'T DO MY HOMTWORK BECAUSE:
. I didn't do my history homework becouse Idon't believe in dwelling on lhe pos1.
. I didn'fwoni the oiher kids in lhe closs fo look bod.
. A sudden gusl of wind blew my homework oul of my hond ond I never sow ii ogoin.
. Another pupil ieli in o loke ond ljumped in fo rescue him.
Unfortunoiely, my homework drowned.
. I'm noi ot liberiy to soy why.
. I wonted io frome the delention letler you're oboui lo give me.
. lt wos destroyed in o freck occideni involving o hippo, o toosler,
ond o bog of frozen peos. You don'i wonf to know the detoils.
. I hove o solor-powered colculotor, ond it wos cloudy.
. I mode o poper plone ouf of it ond it got hijocked.
. My ogeni won'f ollow me io publish my homework uniil the movie deol is finolized.
. lt's ogoinsl my religion io do ony homework.
. lwos obducied by green-skinned, three-eyed, pig-snouted spoce oliens,
ond they incineroted my homework with lheir deoth roys.
. I feli it wosn'l challeng:ng enough.
. My porenls were sick ond unoble to do my homework lost nighl.
Don't worry. ihey hove been suitobly punished.
. We hod homework?!
. I see your lips moving, but oll I om heoring is "bloh, bloh. bloh.,'
. I didn'l wqni to odd to your olreody heovy worklood.
. I spenl the night ot o rolly supporting higher poy for our hcrd-working teochers.
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