Chavez Fall 2011 Issue - Seton Hall University

See the Sudden Light
By Alison Elgayar
I felt it. The burning emotion inside tore me down and ate me alive as I stood there. The anger, the
hurt, the mourning that was soon to come cluttered my mind. There was no use in looking towards
a bright side. The bright side was overshadowed – not again, but forever.
He was gone. The second part of the single soul that had brought me into this world had vanished
from mine, right before my very eyes. Although my vision might not perfect and I tend to wear
glasses from time to time, I had refused to see the trouble that lend to this event.
“Was it me? Was it something I did? Did I make you so mad that you felt you needed to run away?”
Those questions plagued my mind. As I continued to sit in silence and think, I failed to notice that
I had chewed down on my bottom lip so much that I could feel the blood seep onto my tongue.
The pain of him leaving did not fully hit me until I became a mock at someone else’s expense.
Did you ever feel that? When you’re going through a rough time on one of the most cheerful and
spirited days of the year, the sadness eats you up and spits you out ten times harder than it would
on any other day.
On Christmas Day, I cried. Christmas was certainly not what it was 10 years ago, when everyone in
the family would gather around and open their perfectly wrapped presents Santa Claus had brought
to them. Christmas back then was about running out into the living room and letting your eyes
wonder on all the magic that was left from the night before. The gifts, the twinkling, bright lights
of the tree, and the spark of joy that your eyes held when you noticed the cookies and milk you laid
out were missing.
It just wasn’t the same. Not this year.
My mind goes off topic a lot. When you’re in a worked-up state as bad as mine, I think scattering,
pointless thoughts are permitted. When I felt the hot tears rolls down the flesh of my cheeks and
burn my eyes like acid, that’s when I knew things were never going to be the same.
I don’t think anyone ever feels that sad but once. Sometimes it only takes one person to make you
feel that way; then again, sometimes it only takes one person to make that feeling go away.
And then there was him.
The one that could make it go away.
I was never one to believe in that mystic connection one feels when they meet their true love, but
that day, that night, my beliefs came to a stop.
“It’s going to be okay,” he whispered slowly, holding onto me as if he feared I would slip away.
“I’m going to make everything all right.”
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