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TBC<br />

White Sox VerSuS CubS<br />

Dredging deep into the heart and mind of a Chicago baseball nut.<br />

worDs: J.r. NelsoN IllustratIoN: DoNNIe Bauer (www.myDBmeDIa.Com)<br />

October 27, 2004. The Beachwood Inn, a bar on<br />

Chicago’s near Westside, is full of patrons, but<br />

eerily quiet. There is a once-in-a-century spectacular<br />

lunar eclipse in the warm night sky and<br />

the Boston Red Sox, the most famously hardluck<br />

team in the annals of sport, is about to win<br />

the World Series for the first time in 86 years.<br />

As St. Louis Cardinals shortstop Edgar Renteria<br />

grounds into the final out and the Boston players<br />

start whooping and celebrating in the infield,<br />

nobody in the Beachwood has much of anything<br />

to say. “Huh,” one of the bartenders opines. “Did<br />

you see that moon tonight?”<br />

Since time immemorial, the annual Chicago<br />

baseball ritual has been watching somebody else<br />

play in, and win, the World Series. The Chicago<br />

White Sox haven’t appeared in the fall classic<br />

since 1959, and were last world champions in<br />

1917. The Chicago Cubs played in the 1945<br />

World Series and have yet to return. Their last<br />

world title was in 1908. The only thing that truly<br />

connects these two franchises is their relative<br />

geography and utter lack of success. Other than<br />

that, they could hardly be more different.<br />

The Cubs play in the friendly confines of<br />

Wrigley Field, an ancient and storied park on<br />

Chicago’s Northside. Old-timey ambience, ivycovered<br />

walls and beery sell-out crowds make it<br />

128<br />

one of the city’s most popular tourist attractions.<br />

Wrigley draws plenty of dentist/lawyer yuppie<br />

dudes and their scantily clad ladyfriends and<br />

because the tickets are more expensive, especially<br />

for the good seats, they’re usually the folks you<br />

see on TV.<br />

The White Sox home is U.S. Cellular Field, a<br />

rather drably designed stadium where, if sitting<br />

in the upper deck and the stiflingly polluted summer<br />

air isn’t too thick, one can see the notorious<br />

Robert Taylor Homes standing out across the<br />

Dan Ryan Expressway. It can be argued that the<br />

White Sox have a much larger black and Hispanic<br />

fan base than the Cubs because they draw so<br />

much support from the largely black Southside.<br />

Caucasian White Sox fans from the surrounding<br />

neighborhoods tend to be one of two groups:<br />

auto mechanics or construction workers out to<br />

get drunk, or zealous baseball fanatics out to<br />

get drunk. The vibe of the place can be nasty.<br />

During a game two seasons ago, a father/son duo<br />

jumped out of the stands and attacked a Kansas<br />

City Royals coach right out on the field. A scant<br />

few weeks later another disgruntled fan emerged<br />

from the crowd to tackle the umpire.<br />

Chicago baseball has led me to renounce God.<br />

I wish that was a joke, but you weren’t there in<br />

‘84 to see Steve Garvey run around the basepaths<br />

with his fist in the air while mighty Cubs hurler<br />

Lee Smith could only dig at the mound with his<br />

huge cleats in defeat and disbelief. I was inconsolable<br />

and 10 years old, and my Mom put me to<br />

bed crying like an infant; from that tearful night<br />

forward, The Lord and I just didn’t see eye to<br />

eye.<br />

It’s the great baseball riddle: how could my<br />

team lose? I have forsaken members of my own<br />

family (Uncle Stu, why be a Cardinals fan? Pujols<br />

is a bum and you have terminal brainfog from<br />

pounding too much Busch!). I have taunted<br />

strangers on Chicago streets wearing Yankees<br />

hats from a moving car. “Hey Dame Dash,” I lustily<br />

shouted once, “What borough are you from?”<br />

This fuels my unquenchable and unceasing<br />

Yankee-based eruptions of jealousy. My utter<br />

awe at their winning providence turns my heart<br />

into fire every summer, even when I’m trying<br />

to do normal person things like eat deep-fried<br />

Twinkies and shop for toilet paper and feel up<br />

some rump to the Crooklyn Clan on Friday night.<br />

But tonight was good. Final score: Sox 2-Yanks 1<br />

in the Bronx. The White Sox still have the best<br />

record in the bigs. Who knows. Maybe this is our<br />

year?<br />

XLR8R (ISSN 1526-4246) is published monthly with bimonthly issues in January/February and July/August for $20 a year by Amalgam Media, Inc., 425 Divisadero Street #203A, San Francisco, CA, 94117.<br />

Periodicals Postage Paid at San Francisco, CA and at additional mailing offices. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to XLR8R, 1388 Haight Street, #105, San Francisco, CA 94117.

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