The humour of the Scot 'neath northern lights and ... - Electric Scotland

OLD-FASHIOXED SEBVAXTS AXI) SEJRVICE 175
gentility, though possessing none of its consideration for
others.
She was constantly giving extra trouble to poor
over-worked Mary by coming in after the meal was
well
over, and then rather imperiously demanding hot
One day Mary sent word by her
viands, hot plates, etc.
little girl that dinner was ready. The would-be fine
dame, wanting to finish her novel, sent back a lackadaisical
reply to keep dinner for her, as she was not
ready. Mary in the vehemence of her irritation blurted
out :
'
Oh, tell her to come to her denner at aince, or
she can gang to h
,
whichever she likes.' Presently
in comes her ladyship fuming and flouncing, and haughtily
asked Mary ' if she had had the impertinence to tell her
little girl, that she, Mrs. E , might go to Hades.'
'Weel, weel,' said Mary, 'I'm sure if I did, there wis nae
great hairm, for, if a' stories be true, the vera best o'
quality folk maistly a' gang there.'
Of the order of hoihy stories, several of which I have
given in Oor Am Folk, the following is
rather a tj^pical
specimen. It is told of a parsimonious old farmer in the
Mearns. He was so notoriousl}^ stingy that ploughmen
shunned his farm, and would not take serWce there.
His
usual course was to ofter an advance of some ten shillings
on the usual hiring fee,
and having secured his man, he
proceeded to take it out of him, by feeding him so badly
as to provoke the unfortunate fellow, after a more or less
prolonged probation, to throw up his situation in disgust.
B}^ so doing he of coiu-se forfeited his wages, and the
cunning old hunks of a miserly farmer thus seciu'ed a
certain amount of service for nothing. On one occasion,
however, he met his match. The new man had been
engaged at a more than ordinarily liberal fee, and