01_HP (Page 1) - Herald-Post

14 FAMILY & CULTURE
Thursday, April 10, 2008 HP
GERMANCOOKING
Asparagus with Ham Wraps and Vinaigrette
(Spargel mit Schinkenpäckchen
und Vinaigrette)
Serves: 4
Ingredients:
w7oz. ham (cooked ham)
w8 slices ham (cooked ham)
w3.5 oz. green grapes
w16 white asparagus spears
w1/2 cup heavy cream
w1 small leek
wjuice from 1 lemon
w1/2 sheet of gelatin
w2 tablespoons Madeira
w1.5 oz. white grape juice
w1teaspoon vinegar
w1teaspoon brandy
w1 tablespoon sour cream
w1 pea-size dab of mustard
w3 tablespoons butter
w1/2 teaspoon pink/red peppercorns
Preparation:
wRemove the skins from the grapes, halve them and remove the
seeds.
wPeel the asparagus and cook in boiling water for about 10 minutes.
Remove the asparagus from the water and keep warm.
wWhip heavy cream until stiff. Cut the leek in thin strips and cook in
boiling water for two minutes.
wCut the ham into chunks and purée it in a food processor or mixer.
Dissolve the gelatin in two tablespoons hot water.
wCombine the puréed ham with the Madeira and gelatin until
smooth, then season to taste with salt and pepper. Carefully fold
under the whipped cream.
wPlace ham slices on work surface, distribute the ham purée among
the eight slices and fold them to form small wraps.Tie up the ham
wraps with the leek strips. Keep cool.
wHeat lemon and grape juice in a small saucepan. Add vinegar,
brandy and sour cream and simmer until the sauce is reduced to
about a third.
wRemove from stove, stir in the mustard and butter.
wAdd the grapes and peppercorns to the sauce and stir to combine.
wServe asparagus with ham wraps and vinaigrette on a warm plate.
SOURCE: www.germanfoods.org
DEAR MS.
Vicki
Vicki Johnson is military
spouse and a clinical social
worker with more than 12
years experience working
with families in crisis. To
contact Ms. Vicki, e-mail her at
dearmsvicki@yahoo.com.
Dear Ms. Vicki,
Icontemplated about writing you
because often it seems that many
women write in and do nothing but
complain. I am a male writer who
is a military spouse. I never chose to
join but am supporting my wife. It
has been tough. More like hell, but
I’m hanging in here. I have taken
care of the three children over the
past five years especially because
my wife has been gone three of the
five years. She just returned late last
year and now will be redeploying
again this fall. I’m sure this will
ruin our marriage. This is not a
man issue; this is just the truth.
My marriage won’t stand another
deployment. How long am I suppose
to be lonely and ignore that I
wanted and need a wife? This is not
what I envisioned for my family.
She doesn’t like the Marine Corps
by any means, she is just continuing
with this journey. I think she knows
this is not good for our marriage
and knows how I feel; she is just
hell-bent on doing what she wants
to do.
Ilove my wife, but I think I have
come to the end of my road on this
journey. I don’t believe in divorce,
but I think divorce may be the only
option. Do you have any advice for:
Non-Complaining Husband?
Dear Husband,
Ihope you can relay the same
message with the same passion to
your wife. She needs to hear it.
Deployments are tough on everyone
– marriages, relationships
and children. I know firsthand.
You haveexperienced many absences
in a relatively short period
of time. Your wife has endured
many deployments, too. She is
probably coping with this “deployment
mode” by focusing only on
the next deployment and nothing
else. This could be protection for
her emotionally in some way.
I think you both need to seek
marital counseling, or any marriage
retreats would be helpful,
too. Additionally, I would also
recommend individual counseling
for you and your wife. Oftentimes
it will help if you can have some
one to talk to and can depend on
for support. Your wife may need
this, too. Don’t have a knee-jerk
reaction. Try every avenue before
you call it quits on your marriage.
Dear Ms. Vicki,
Iam15yearsoldand have been
dating the same boy for two years.
My parents seem to be OK with it.
Now my motherseems to be tripping
about our relationship and
watching me all of the time. We use
to be able to hang out in our family
room and watch movies. Now I
have to keep every light on and stay
in view of everyone.
I think it’s my fault because I told
my mom Iwantedto have sex. My
boyfriend is not forcing me, we just
know this is the next step. I thought
my parents would support me, but
now this has caused a lot of conflict.
My boyfriend doesn’t even want
to visit me at my house any more
because my parents are being mean
to him. What can I do to smooth
things over with my parents?
From: Confident Teen
Dear Confident,
The nextstepforyouand your
boyfriend is not sex! Why would
you think that’s the next step?
The nextstepispreparingfor
the ACTs and SATs. Start discussing
college options with your
parents and schools counselors
and get involved with school and
community activities. These are
options that will make you feel
good about whom you are and
build your esteem. Sex won’t do
that!
Listen, “if you give a dance you
have to pay the band.” In other
words, there are consequences to
our actions both good and bad.
What if you get pregnant or get a
sexually transmitted disease – even
more a disease that is not curable?
More often than not, the young
man disappears, never to be seen
again. You deserve more than that.
Youhaveabrightfuture ahead
of you. Don’t ruin it. True love
can wait. So, your boyfriend is
too upset to come to your home
because he doesn’t like the way
your parents treat him. He’ll get
over it. You are not responsible
for his happiness. Stick with your
parents – they know what’s best. I
do applaud you for being honest
with your mother about your
intentions. Keep being honest, but
don’t have sex. Don’t mess up your
future. You’ll look back on this
and realize you really didn’t love
this guy at all. Do the right thing;
keep your mind open and your
legs closed.
Strong Bonds helps couples improve relationships
By Pamela McBride
CINCHOUSE.COM
Dealing with deployment can be difficult,
particularly for new military spouses. However,
reunion after deployment can be as challenging as
it is joyful.
Like many other military couples, Danelle and
Christopher Yarborough had a difficult time adjusting
to being together again when he returned
in November from a 15-month tour in Iraq. But
thankfully, the Army proactively helps couples
build stronger relationships even through the most
challenging times.
“The Army gives Soldiers its best equipment
and training to help them prepare for war; Strong
Bonds, which helps the Soldier and family, is
among that training,” said Chaplain Carleton Birch,
deputy installation chaplain at Fort Drum, N.Y.
Led byunit chaplains, Strong Bonds helps couples
learn and practice communication techniques
that will improve their daily interaction. It covers
how to communicate effectively, discuss sensitive
issues, avoid toxic communication patterns, solve
problems, manage conflict and accept differing
points of view.
“When Chris’ unit offered the Strong Bonds
training we were having problems and thought
it might help us,” said Danelle, who delivered
their first child just a few days before her husband
deployed. “We had already attended Strong Bonds
in the third month we were married, but I guess we
didn’t pay attention enough. We went to our second
training after being married two years and completing
a 15-month deployment.”
It was different the second time around, she said.
“That time, we expected more than just a free
trip and came away with a better understanding of
each other’s perspective,” she said. “He had a greater
appreciation for what I had to do at home with the
baby by myself, and I learned how hard it was for
him to have been alone while he was away from
home.”
During Strong Bonds training,couples also learn
to fight fairly when arguments arise.
“The speaker-listener technique forces each
person to practice being in only one of those roles
at a time and essentially teaches a calm way to
argue,” said Tiffany Miller, a five-year Army Reserve
wife. “We learned that sometimes we have to take
atimeout so arguments don’t escalate and we get
ourselves into trouble.”
Just as important as what is taught is the setting
in which it takes place.
“With the stress of 15-month deployments and
only 12 months at home, things get busier and
crazier and there is less time to talk. Strong Bonds
events are honeymoon-quality, with top hotels,
top trainers and on-site child care,” said Birch, who
started a Family Life program in Korea. “With the
weekend being paid for by the Army, the question
is: Why not take it?”
Strong Bonds will be available around U.S. Army
Garrison Baden-Württemberg soon.
Contact your local chaplain for more information
about dates and how to get involved.