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Michigan Runner

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The Price of Knowing Too Much<br />

By Greg Janicki<br />

Last Christmas I got a GPS running<br />

watch. It could do it all: measure heart<br />

rate, pace, average speed, cumulative<br />

distance ... quite impressive. So impressive it<br />

sat in the box three months before I had the<br />

nerve to read the instructions.<br />

No, it wasn’t because the user manual<br />

was thicker than a Brides magazine in June<br />

(but close). And no, it wasn’t because I possess<br />

the technological dexterity of a paper<br />

clip (although I do). It collected dust for 41<br />

runs because I was scared. Scared of what I<br />

might learn from it: that I’m not as fast as I<br />

used to be.<br />

Since high school, I had guesstimated my<br />

running distances using pace as a guide. This<br />

method proved fairly accurate as measured<br />

by my car odometer — for runs that paralleled<br />

roads. Unfortunately, the baseline I used<br />

was set 25 years ago.<br />

What my mind (but not body) had forgotten<br />

is that while a certain pace feels the<br />

same as it did two decades ago, it may not<br />

actually be the same. Moreover, I was miles<br />

removed from the mapped courses of my<br />

youth, and now ran on bucolic (but not easily-measured)<br />

bike paths. Was I really running<br />

as far and as fast as I thought?<br />

Eventually the guilt of having an unused<br />

high-tech gadget got to me, especially since it<br />

was a gift. I also grew tired of friends and<br />

family asking about the watch, only to hear<br />

me invent different reasons why it still sat in<br />

the box — “Oh, I don’t monitor my training<br />

during the winter” ... “The satellites are<br />

down till the summer solstice” ... “I’ve given<br />

up running.” Each excuse was lamer than the<br />

one before.<br />

It got to a point I was risking receiving<br />

any future running-related gifts from relatives.<br />

I had to act. So I pulled the watch and<br />

GPS unit out of the box and read the manual,<br />

read the manual, then then read the manual<br />

again.<br />

The more I read, the more excited I got.<br />

Split times, tempo training, max heart-rate<br />

monitoring were now all within my grasp.<br />

My fear of learning something about my<br />

training gave way to the potential of learning<br />

something about my training.<br />

Giddily I strapped on the device for its<br />

maiden voyage, and waited as the watch and<br />

petite-sized GPS unit snugly strapped to an<br />

elastic belt around my waist synced with the<br />

satellite orbiting somewhere above my West<br />

Bloomfield, Mich. home. With the blinking<br />

green light from the unit signaling all was a-<br />

go, I strode off, eagerly eyeing the watch’s<br />

face, nearly tripping as I drifted off the sidewalk<br />

onto the lawn.<br />

The watch’s face counted up and down<br />

and around a variety of numbers — I felt<br />

like NASA ground control. For the next 35<br />

minutes the nearly-instantaneous pace calculation<br />

settled on a range of numbers,<br />

sometimes excitingly-familiar numbers;<br />

sometimes sadly strange ones. In the end I<br />

learned one thing, the thing I feared: I am<br />

slower than I used to be.<br />

The good news is now I can easily call<br />

on this cool new toy to provide precise pace,<br />

speed and distance — all the things a serious<br />

runner needs to know. And for that reason,<br />

sometimes I leave it home. MR<br />

11

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