Obituaries - Radley College

Obituaries
and the works department refusing to
mend leaking taps it could be pulled so
far down, when she took Willow out
for a walk, that the two sides almost
met under her chin. A sort of prototype
hoody.
Sue’s entry into the world had not
been easy. She was a breach baby and
had been born with her head on one
side, which meant that at the age of
four she had to have a major operation
to remedy this. She was operated on by
Sir Reginald Watson-Jones at Liverpool
Royal Infirmary, and for six weeks she
was encased in plaster of Paris down to
her middle with her arms sticking out
horizontally and suffered the indignity of
being wheeled round like this in a pram.
I can just hear her saying ‘Well, really’ in
her inimitable way at my recounting this.
Luckily the operation was a complete
success.
From Farnborough Hill Sue went
out to Switzerland to Lausanne to
learn French with the family of a heart
specialist there and to look after the
children, two girls and a boy. All her life
Sue was totally at home with children
and young people. She liked them and
she didn’t talk down to them: one of the
reasons, incidentally, why she was such a
wonderful matron at Radley.
After Switzerland Sue took a job
with BEA working as a Ground Hostess.
One of her roles was to look after
unaccompanied minors before and after
their flights. She loved to tell the story of
one of her charges, a self-contained little
chap whose guardian failed to turn up at
the appointed meeting-place. “What does
he look like?’ asked Sue and the reply
came back in measured tones: ‘Middleaged
and rather plump, y’know’.
It was while she was working for
BEA that Sue met Aidan. Photos show
how happy she was at this time. Aidan
came from Staffordshire, where his
family owned a textile firm Louis Sandy
and Co that made nuns’ habits. After
Aidan and Sue married they lived in
London for some time and then moved
to Ardmulchan Lodge, Navan in County
Meath. Sue helped out in the family shop
in Dublin, but there was time too for
racing which remained one of her great
interests. After one visit to the races their
first whippet, Scobie, was purchased,
the result of a good win on a horse that
Scobie Breasley was riding. The only
time boys were not allowed to disturb
her at Radley was when she was firmly
settled behind a closed door watching
Sue Sandy
the racing on television, from Ascot,
Uttoxeter or wherever. It was in her
blood as Sue and Olivia’s grandfather, Mr
Lowry, owned a stud outside Navan.
It was a hard time for the textile
industry in Ireland with the arrival of
nylon and rayon and synthetic fibres.
Aidan was much older than Sue and
suffered from the strain and stress of
trying to keep the family finances and
the business going. When Sue was only
35 and they had been married just 8
years he died suddenly of a heart attack.
After this shattering blow Sue
returned to London. She had lost her
husband and had to earn her living. But
she was never a person to give in, and
with that indomitable courage of hers
returned to London to look after Dr and
Mrs Thursby and their family. Nor did
she now want to live in the city, and she
answered an advert in Horse and Hounds
and went to work for the Baxter family
in Bampton in Oxfordshire. Here she was
completely at home. She threw herself
into the job of looking after Nicholas and
Lucy and being what in those days was
called a ‘Girl Friday’ but in fact she was
far, far more than that for the Baxters,
and she recovered her equilibrium and
was able to face the future.
Ann Manley, a painter of watercolours
and a friend she had made in
Bampton, introduced her to another
painter, Charlie Mussett, an American
from Chatanooga who was the Art
master at Radley. Charlie was one of my
assistants in my house and knew that I
was looking for a matron. With Nicholas
and Lucy Hewins now growing up Sue
was ready for a change of job.
At her very informal interview for
the job we discovered that we both knew
the Hargreave and the Everett families
up here. (In fact I had the feeling that
I was the one being interviewed). Sue
happened to mention that she had no
medical knowledge (which I said didn’t
matter) and in January 1978 she started
in E Social (at Radley the boys’ boardinghouses
are called socials.)
Within a fortnight 40 boys in E
Social were in bed sick with flu in the
dormitories. It was a baptism by fire,
and Sue was splendid, a sort of Florence
Nightingale in the Scutari of E Social,
flying on errands of mercy from end
to end of the Social and her bustling
efficiency, kindness, no truck with
malingerers and real concern for those
who were ill quickly made her into a
corner-stone of E Social life.
Many of her ex-charges wrote during
her illness and after her death, and I will
just read a few sentences:
From Mark: “My recollection is of her
no-nonsense down to earth approach,
yet incredibly sensitive and kind, always
making time to listen, never complaining
about her own preoccupations and
troubles in life, selflessly always putting
her boys and her Social first and
performing her ‘duties’ with an air of
ease and without fuss or commotion.
Somehow everything just got done.”
Another boy referred to her as ‘a
feminine figure in a sea of masculinity.
Immensely reassuring and approachable.
Her flat was a cosy echo of home with
the chintzy curtains and sofas and the
subtle aromas of perfume, hairspray,
cigarette smoke, sherry and dog. All
unusual smells in the boarding school
environment yet so typical of home and
strangely comforting.’
Simon wrote quite simply: “I
remember her very fondly for her
warmth and her no-nonsense approach.
She was central to the personality of the
social”.
These comments show why Sue was
so exceptional. Firstly she liked the boys
in her care. She was kind and firm at
the same time. She loved all aspects of
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