December 2012 - Spartanburg County School District One
December 2012 - Spartanburg County School District One
December 2012 - Spartanburg County School District One
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6 Opinion<br />
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Preparing for (or participating in) the end of the world<br />
Caroline Stewart<br />
Editor<br />
As we all<br />
know, Dec.<br />
21, <strong>2012</strong>,<br />
marks the<br />
end of the<br />
world. Since<br />
most people<br />
don’t want<br />
to die, I’ve<br />
compiled<br />
some tips<br />
to help you<br />
through the<br />
apocalypse.<br />
You’re welcome.<br />
If you want to avoid it completely:<br />
The first thing you should do is find<br />
a safe place to escape. Most people<br />
recommend an underground safety shelter.<br />
Whoever says this is clearly an idiot<br />
because when the world ends, that shelter<br />
is going to be obliterated with it.<br />
I mean, the end of the world isn’t<br />
going to be like “The Road.” That’s so<br />
unrealistic. Hate to break it to you, but<br />
all heck will break loose and then the<br />
zombies will get you.<br />
Personally, I would recommend buying<br />
a rocket and trying to live on Mars. I feel<br />
like that would be a much more realistic<br />
way to survive.<br />
Don’t say a rocket is too expensive –<br />
buy it anyway. It’s not like you’re going<br />
to have debt. The guy you bought it from<br />
will be dead.<br />
I would also recommend that you pack<br />
your ship like Noah did. Two by two<br />
really worked in his favor.<br />
Your next order of business would be<br />
food. I mean, without food, you’ll die,<br />
right? So now you should drop whatever<br />
you’re doing and go buy everything in<br />
the canned food section at your local<br />
Walmart.<br />
And I do mean everything. Don’t leave<br />
a single can. You’ll regret it when you’re<br />
on Mars and only have five cans of carrots<br />
left.<br />
Water is next on the list. I plan on going<br />
to all of the local stores and buying all of<br />
the jugs of water. Then, I can just load<br />
them onto my rocket.<br />
Now you might also consider bringing<br />
along some building supplies, just in case<br />
you need to build a house or you know,<br />
start a new society.<br />
When you’re on Mars, you might get<br />
bored. Make sure that you bring some<br />
reading material, board games, and party<br />
supplies in case of someone’s birthday.<br />
Teachers and students share their thoughts about the apocalypse<br />
“I’ve already started preparing. We have a stockpile of<br />
emergency rations -- a 30 day supply -- and water. We<br />
also have our stockpile of weapons. I have been training,<br />
using knives and other sharp objects to help save ammo.<br />
I have also been working out in case I have to run or go<br />
into hand to hand combat, not only with zombies, but I<br />
think people will be a real danger in the apocalypse.” --<br />
Holly Hollifield, English teacher<br />
“I don’t think the world is going to end so I’m going<br />
to keep living life like I am now. I’ve lived everyday<br />
to the fullest and I’m going to keep living everyday<br />
to the fullest.” -- Chardenai Vang, ‘13<br />
“On Dec. 21 I’m going to start taking chances I wouldn’t<br />
normally take. I’ve started taking karate classes to<br />
prepare, and I’ve been stocking up on food and weapons.”<br />
-- Kristy Foster, ‘10<br />
“Despite my husband’s preparation for <strong>2012</strong>, I have<br />
given it no thought nor will it concern me in the<br />
least.” -- Casey Nunnemaker, English teacher<br />
If you want to participate in the<br />
Zombie Apocalypse:<br />
First, go stand in the middle of a natural<br />
disaster and die. Death is obviously a<br />
necessity in this scenario.<br />
Then, come back to life as a zombie<br />
and attack the idiots that thought the<br />
apocalypse was a lie. How could they<br />
be so stupid? A zombie attack is totally<br />
realistic in modern society.<br />
After that, enjoy the brains of your<br />
victims and prove the zombie stereotype<br />
to be true. I mean, you have a reputation<br />
to uphold.<br />
If you want to try to wait out the<br />
disasters and fight the zombies:<br />
First, you should gather some supplies<br />
to attack the zombies with. These include,<br />
but are not limited to, baseball bats<br />
(preferably aluminum), human flesh/<br />
brain to use as zombie bait, a chainsaw, a<br />
crowbar, matches to ignite the zombie, a<br />
woodchipper (one of the most brutal ways<br />
to kill) and weapons of mass destruction.<br />
These weapons can be used in many<br />
ways. Be aware that many of the tactics<br />
that murderers use on their victims will<br />
not work on zombies. There are excellent<br />
online resources for more information on<br />
this.<br />
Some muscle might be necessary to kill<br />
a zombie, so, go ahead and start buffing<br />
up now.<br />
You might also consider forming a<br />
lynch mob to help with your attacks. You<br />
might recall that in “The Walking Dead,”<br />
the zombies also tend to travel in packs.<br />
I wish you the best of luck in whatever<br />
you choose to do.<br />
Below I have provided resources for<br />
additional information and advice.<br />
I hope that these websites can provide<br />
you with enough information to make an<br />
educated decision about your future.<br />
The next installment of The Prowl may<br />
be delayed, as we’ll have to relocate on<br />
Mars.<br />
http://voices.yahoo.com/howkill-zombie-ten-best-ways-killzombie-4740282.html<br />
http://www.cdc.gov/phpr/zombies.htm<br />
http://www.survival-spot.com/survivalblog/how-to-survive-the-end-of-theworld-as-we-know-it-tactics-techniquesand-technologies-for-uncertain-times/<br />
http://www.primermagazine.com/2010/<br />
learn/survival-pack<br />
http://www.survivetheapocalypse.net/<br />
Why the Grinch was justified in<br />
stealing Christmas<br />
Austin Graham<br />
Staff Writer<br />
The ABC<br />
family of<br />
networks<br />
shows the<br />
classic<br />
holiday<br />
special,<br />
“Dr. Seuss’s<br />
How the<br />
Grinch Stole<br />
Christmas”.<br />
In this<br />
special, the<br />
Grinch is portrayed as a villain.<br />
But can you blame him? The Grinch has<br />
many reasons to have a bad attitude.<br />
First of all, wouldn’t you be just a little<br />
bit cranky if you were being kept up all<br />
night by terrible singing? Even Horton<br />
could hear the whos.<br />
And another thing, what happened to<br />
the other four Ws? Everyone who watches<br />
sees the Whos, but what happened to<br />
what, when, where and why? If that was<br />
the only “W” I had I would be pretty<br />
irritated too.<br />
He has plenty of reason to be cranky.<br />
Consider all that fur he’s covered in. He<br />
has to be burning up. At least throw an air<br />
conditioner in there or something.<br />
The Grinch also has wardrobe issues.<br />
He has to choose between nothing and a<br />
ridiculous Santa Clause outfit. He looked<br />
more ridiculous than a cat in a hat.<br />
Also what about his pet? Obviously he<br />
wanted a reindeer but all the pet store had<br />
was dogs. Life just isn’t fair sometimes.<br />
The Grinch is left alone the whole year;<br />
somebody could at least send him a card,<br />
fruit basket, or at least some green eggs<br />
and ham. Where is the common courtesy<br />
in Whoville?<br />
The Grinch also had some sort of facial<br />
issue too. Nobody’s mouth should curl up<br />
that many times when they smile, it’s just<br />
unnatural.<br />
Can’t you see why he would be in such<br />
a bad mood?<br />
Clearly the Grinch wasn’t thinking<br />
straight to begin with. With a heart that<br />
that was two sizes too small there is no<br />
way that blood was making its way to his<br />
brain properly.<br />
And the way I see it, the Grinch didn’t<br />
really “steal “Christmas. The Whos left all<br />
of their Christmas supplies and presents<br />
out for grabs.<br />
If you ask me, Christmas was just<br />
thrust into his hands, and he happened to<br />
be there to catch it.<br />
P<br />
THE<br />
ROWL<br />
Volume 13, Issue 3<br />
Chapman High <strong>School</strong><br />
P.O. Box 389<br />
Inman, SC 29349<br />
FAX 864-472-0914<br />
Phone 864-472-2836<br />
Email-www.Spart1.org/chs<br />
Printer<br />
JS Printing<br />
Adviser<br />
Drew Timmons<br />
Member of the South Carolina Scholastic<br />
Press Association<br />
Editor<br />
Caroline Stewart<br />
Staff Writers<br />
Melony Gibson<br />
Austin Graham<br />
Matt Phillips<br />
Charlotte Miller<br />
Vitaley Rantsevich<br />
Linda Srey<br />
The Prowl welcomes all letters to the<br />
editor. Letters are subject to editing<br />
for libel, grammar, content and space.<br />
Letters will not be considered for publication<br />
unless they are signed. Please<br />
deliver any letters to the editor, in<br />
person, to Mr. Timmons in room 308.<br />
Discrimination of all persons is prohibited<br />
with regard to the provision of<br />
educational opportunities and benefits<br />
on the basis of race, color, national<br />
origin, religion, sex, age, or disability<br />
in <strong>Spartanburg</strong> <strong>School</strong> <strong>District</strong> <strong>One</strong> as<br />
required by Title IX of the Educational<br />
Amendment Act of 1972, Section<br />
504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973,<br />
the Age Discrimination Act of 1975.