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December 2012 - Spartanburg County School District One

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6 Opinion<br />

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Preparing for (or participating in) the end of the world<br />

Caroline Stewart<br />

Editor<br />

As we all<br />

know, Dec.<br />

21, <strong>2012</strong>,<br />

marks the<br />

end of the<br />

world. Since<br />

most people<br />

don’t want<br />

to die, I’ve<br />

compiled<br />

some tips<br />

to help you<br />

through the<br />

apocalypse.<br />

You’re welcome.<br />

If you want to avoid it completely:<br />

The first thing you should do is find<br />

a safe place to escape. Most people<br />

recommend an underground safety shelter.<br />

Whoever says this is clearly an idiot<br />

because when the world ends, that shelter<br />

is going to be obliterated with it.<br />

I mean, the end of the world isn’t<br />

going to be like “The Road.” That’s so<br />

unrealistic. Hate to break it to you, but<br />

all heck will break loose and then the<br />

zombies will get you.<br />

Personally, I would recommend buying<br />

a rocket and trying to live on Mars. I feel<br />

like that would be a much more realistic<br />

way to survive.<br />

Don’t say a rocket is too expensive –<br />

buy it anyway. It’s not like you’re going<br />

to have debt. The guy you bought it from<br />

will be dead.<br />

I would also recommend that you pack<br />

your ship like Noah did. Two by two<br />

really worked in his favor.<br />

Your next order of business would be<br />

food. I mean, without food, you’ll die,<br />

right? So now you should drop whatever<br />

you’re doing and go buy everything in<br />

the canned food section at your local<br />

Walmart.<br />

And I do mean everything. Don’t leave<br />

a single can. You’ll regret it when you’re<br />

on Mars and only have five cans of carrots<br />

left.<br />

Water is next on the list. I plan on going<br />

to all of the local stores and buying all of<br />

the jugs of water. Then, I can just load<br />

them onto my rocket.<br />

Now you might also consider bringing<br />

along some building supplies, just in case<br />

you need to build a house or you know,<br />

start a new society.<br />

When you’re on Mars, you might get<br />

bored. Make sure that you bring some<br />

reading material, board games, and party<br />

supplies in case of someone’s birthday.<br />

Teachers and students share their thoughts about the apocalypse<br />

“I’ve already started preparing. We have a stockpile of<br />

emergency rations -- a 30 day supply -- and water. We<br />

also have our stockpile of weapons. I have been training,<br />

using knives and other sharp objects to help save ammo.<br />

I have also been working out in case I have to run or go<br />

into hand to hand combat, not only with zombies, but I<br />

think people will be a real danger in the apocalypse.” --<br />

Holly Hollifield, English teacher<br />

“I don’t think the world is going to end so I’m going<br />

to keep living life like I am now. I’ve lived everyday<br />

to the fullest and I’m going to keep living everyday<br />

to the fullest.” -- Chardenai Vang, ‘13<br />

“On Dec. 21 I’m going to start taking chances I wouldn’t<br />

normally take. I’ve started taking karate classes to<br />

prepare, and I’ve been stocking up on food and weapons.”<br />

-- Kristy Foster, ‘10<br />

“Despite my husband’s preparation for <strong>2012</strong>, I have<br />

given it no thought nor will it concern me in the<br />

least.” -- Casey Nunnemaker, English teacher<br />

If you want to participate in the<br />

Zombie Apocalypse:<br />

First, go stand in the middle of a natural<br />

disaster and die. Death is obviously a<br />

necessity in this scenario.<br />

Then, come back to life as a zombie<br />

and attack the idiots that thought the<br />

apocalypse was a lie. How could they<br />

be so stupid? A zombie attack is totally<br />

realistic in modern society.<br />

After that, enjoy the brains of your<br />

victims and prove the zombie stereotype<br />

to be true. I mean, you have a reputation<br />

to uphold.<br />

If you want to try to wait out the<br />

disasters and fight the zombies:<br />

First, you should gather some supplies<br />

to attack the zombies with. These include,<br />

but are not limited to, baseball bats<br />

(preferably aluminum), human flesh/<br />

brain to use as zombie bait, a chainsaw, a<br />

crowbar, matches to ignite the zombie, a<br />

woodchipper (one of the most brutal ways<br />

to kill) and weapons of mass destruction.<br />

These weapons can be used in many<br />

ways. Be aware that many of the tactics<br />

that murderers use on their victims will<br />

not work on zombies. There are excellent<br />

online resources for more information on<br />

this.<br />

Some muscle might be necessary to kill<br />

a zombie, so, go ahead and start buffing<br />

up now.<br />

You might also consider forming a<br />

lynch mob to help with your attacks. You<br />

might recall that in “The Walking Dead,”<br />

the zombies also tend to travel in packs.<br />

I wish you the best of luck in whatever<br />

you choose to do.<br />

Below I have provided resources for<br />

additional information and advice.<br />

I hope that these websites can provide<br />

you with enough information to make an<br />

educated decision about your future.<br />

The next installment of The Prowl may<br />

be delayed, as we’ll have to relocate on<br />

Mars.<br />

http://voices.yahoo.com/howkill-zombie-ten-best-ways-killzombie-4740282.html<br />

http://www.cdc.gov/phpr/zombies.htm<br />

http://www.survival-spot.com/survivalblog/how-to-survive-the-end-of-theworld-as-we-know-it-tactics-techniquesand-technologies-for-uncertain-times/<br />

http://www.primermagazine.com/2010/<br />

learn/survival-pack<br />

http://www.survivetheapocalypse.net/<br />

Why the Grinch was justified in<br />

stealing Christmas<br />

Austin Graham<br />

Staff Writer<br />

The ABC<br />

family of<br />

networks<br />

shows the<br />

classic<br />

holiday<br />

special,<br />

“Dr. Seuss’s<br />

How the<br />

Grinch Stole<br />

Christmas”.<br />

In this<br />

special, the<br />

Grinch is portrayed as a villain.<br />

But can you blame him? The Grinch has<br />

many reasons to have a bad attitude.<br />

First of all, wouldn’t you be just a little<br />

bit cranky if you were being kept up all<br />

night by terrible singing? Even Horton<br />

could hear the whos.<br />

And another thing, what happened to<br />

the other four Ws? Everyone who watches<br />

sees the Whos, but what happened to<br />

what, when, where and why? If that was<br />

the only “W” I had I would be pretty<br />

irritated too.<br />

He has plenty of reason to be cranky.<br />

Consider all that fur he’s covered in. He<br />

has to be burning up. At least throw an air<br />

conditioner in there or something.<br />

The Grinch also has wardrobe issues.<br />

He has to choose between nothing and a<br />

ridiculous Santa Clause outfit. He looked<br />

more ridiculous than a cat in a hat.<br />

Also what about his pet? Obviously he<br />

wanted a reindeer but all the pet store had<br />

was dogs. Life just isn’t fair sometimes.<br />

The Grinch is left alone the whole year;<br />

somebody could at least send him a card,<br />

fruit basket, or at least some green eggs<br />

and ham. Where is the common courtesy<br />

in Whoville?<br />

The Grinch also had some sort of facial<br />

issue too. Nobody’s mouth should curl up<br />

that many times when they smile, it’s just<br />

unnatural.<br />

Can’t you see why he would be in such<br />

a bad mood?<br />

Clearly the Grinch wasn’t thinking<br />

straight to begin with. With a heart that<br />

that was two sizes too small there is no<br />

way that blood was making its way to his<br />

brain properly.<br />

And the way I see it, the Grinch didn’t<br />

really “steal “Christmas. The Whos left all<br />

of their Christmas supplies and presents<br />

out for grabs.<br />

If you ask me, Christmas was just<br />

thrust into his hands, and he happened to<br />

be there to catch it.<br />

P<br />

THE<br />

ROWL<br />

Volume 13, Issue 3<br />

Chapman High <strong>School</strong><br />

P.O. Box 389<br />

Inman, SC 29349<br />

FAX 864-472-0914<br />

Phone 864-472-2836<br />

Email-www.Spart1.org/chs<br />

Printer<br />

JS Printing<br />

Adviser<br />

Drew Timmons<br />

Member of the South Carolina Scholastic<br />

Press Association<br />

Editor<br />

Caroline Stewart<br />

Staff Writers<br />

Melony Gibson<br />

Austin Graham<br />

Matt Phillips<br />

Charlotte Miller<br />

Vitaley Rantsevich<br />

Linda Srey<br />

The Prowl welcomes all letters to the<br />

editor. Letters are subject to editing<br />

for libel, grammar, content and space.<br />

Letters will not be considered for publication<br />

unless they are signed. Please<br />

deliver any letters to the editor, in<br />

person, to Mr. Timmons in room 308.<br />

Discrimination of all persons is prohibited<br />

with regard to the provision of<br />

educational opportunities and benefits<br />

on the basis of race, color, national<br />

origin, religion, sex, age, or disability<br />

in <strong>Spartanburg</strong> <strong>School</strong> <strong>District</strong> <strong>One</strong> as<br />

required by Title IX of the Educational<br />

Amendment Act of 1972, Section<br />

504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973,<br />

the Age Discrimination Act of 1975.

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