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Detained Lives: the real cost of indefinite ... - Detention Action

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“ ”<br />

Empty to be honest. Without my boy<br />

it’s empty, it’s nothing. To be honest my<br />

future is nothing, it’s nothing to me.<br />

Rafik Bouzid, detained 22 months<br />

“<br />

I don’t see my future. Everything is going against<br />

me. I’ve lost my family and everything. When I<br />

think about [<strong>the</strong> future], it’s just a blank,<br />

”<br />

a black<br />

page, that’s it, nothing on it, just a dark black page.<br />

Liban Al Kadi, detained 16 months<br />

Some interviewees did maintain a sense <strong>of</strong> optimism.<br />

Hopes for <strong>the</strong> future were associated by nine interviewees<br />

with a possible return to “normal life”, involving family,<br />

work and day-to-day routine. These interviewees retained<br />

a sense that <strong>the</strong>y could get <strong>the</strong>ir lives back, “go back to<br />

society” and become again like everybody else.<br />

“<br />

You know, I am looking to start a family, to<br />

make a good life, you know, like business,<br />

like education, like something – I like to help<br />

people. Help, you know. There’s many<br />

”<br />

things<br />

I want to do in <strong>the</strong> future, everything.<br />

Mojtaba from Iran and Manchester,<br />

detained 21 months<br />

“<br />

If I get outside I will look after my life, I will<br />

move to my country, I want to be like my fa<strong>the</strong>r<br />

what he done when he bring me [up]. I want to<br />

get children, I want to get married, I’m<br />

”<br />

27 now.<br />

They should understand but <strong>the</strong>y not understand.<br />

Ali Saifi, detained 19 months<br />

“<br />

I don’t want to be rich. I just want to live a<br />

normal life like everybody. A job I wake up<br />

to, I go, I work, I come back home, I have nice<br />

woman, a couple <strong>of</strong> kids, I got a house, I got a<br />

tiny car like a VW, just a bit <strong>of</strong> money in <strong>the</strong><br />

bank like everybody, in case somebody fall ill<br />

or some emergency, that’s all what I want and<br />

ordinary as possible. I don’t want nothing out<br />

from <strong>the</strong>m except to let me go, let me go, <strong>the</strong>y<br />

have no right to steal my life away.<br />

Karim Benhamou, detained 8 years<br />

Interviewees felt acutely a sense <strong>of</strong> lost time, that <strong>the</strong>ir lives<br />

are passing without <strong>the</strong>m and will soon be gone. Days in<br />

detention accrue nothing, <strong>the</strong>y vanish without trace, unlike<br />

prison days which mark steps towards a release date.<br />

Seven interviewees worried about ageing and whe<strong>the</strong>r <strong>the</strong>y<br />

will have time left to catch up <strong>the</strong> wasted years.<br />

“<br />

I am over 40 years now, I was born in 1967, I<br />

have no much left to sort out my life now…<br />

I have to accept it and move on so I can start<br />

a new life <strong>the</strong>re… I’ve been waiting for<br />

”<br />

<strong>the</strong>m<br />

for 20 months now.<br />

Achene, detained 21 months<br />

“<br />

Each day I’m getting a day older.<br />

In terms <strong>of</strong> human life, [what] is<br />

maybe an hour outside, in here it’s<br />

like a lifetime. People age quicker<br />

than <strong>the</strong> people outside.<br />

”<br />

Zyad Al-Saadon from Iraq and Medway,<br />

detained 19 months<br />

“ ”<br />

My beard is getting whiter<br />

every day... I feel like I’m<br />

85 years old, like my life is<br />

gone, it’s wasted.<br />

“ ”<br />

Karim Benhamou, detained 8 years<br />

Sometimes you sit, and you think about<br />

your life and you think, oh my God, it’s not<br />

just one day, two days, three days, but three<br />

years, and three years where somebody gets<br />

from 27 to 30 – he’s quite missed out on<br />

his life.<br />

Shirazi, detained 2 years 5 months<br />

And my time will run out, I’m not enjoying<br />

my life. Especially at this time, Christmas,<br />

you see it on <strong>the</strong> TV. People laughing. Seeing<br />

people enjoying <strong>the</strong>ir life but I’m living low<br />

life. This life is hard… a couple <strong>of</strong> days ago<br />

my birthday… three birthdays in detention.<br />

“Daniel, detained 20 months<br />

29

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