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April - Porsche Club of America

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Wrenching 101 for beginners<br />

By John Eberhardt<br />

for der Vorgänger<br />

Contrary to what you might think at first,<br />

<strong>Porsche</strong>s are not mystical and can actually be<br />

quite easy to work on if you take your time,<br />

have the proper tools, instructions and environment.<br />

Often Potomac’s members share their own<br />

tech projects and experiences through the<br />

pages <strong>of</strong> der Vorgänger. We <strong>of</strong>ten assume that<br />

our readers know some <strong>of</strong> the basics about<br />

working on cars. However, we believe for those<br />

who are new to it (and even some who are experienced)<br />

that maybe this article on the basics<br />

would be a useful introduction or refresher.<br />

I am very much a shade-tree mechanic, and<br />

there are other members and real mechanics in<br />

the club who have much more experience than<br />

I—so consider this “Wrenching 101: How Not<br />

to Destroy your Car or Light Yourself on Fire<br />

Without Really Trying.”<br />

Am I in over my head?<br />

The first question you need to ask yourself<br />

before commencing a tech project is: Am I in<br />

over my head? Most drivers can change a tire,<br />

but few can rebuild a transmission.<br />

Projects are <strong>of</strong>ten much more time-consuming<br />

and complex than we think at first, so<br />

before starting any tech project, we need to<br />

think about our own skill level.<br />

It is best to start with small projects (brake<br />

pads, changing light bulbs, oil changes) and<br />

work our way up to bigger projects (examples<br />

are: replacing serpentine belts, starters, replacing<br />

clutches, upgrading suspension components<br />

and engine drops).<br />

Starting small allows us to learn as we go,<br />

to build our collection <strong>of</strong> tools and skills and to<br />

reduce the risk <strong>of</strong> a catastrophic mess. If possible,<br />

<strong>of</strong>fer to help a friend, a great way to learn.<br />

Work in the proper environment<br />

The first thing to mind—and one that is<br />

easily overlooked—is having the proper environment<br />

in which to work. While a refrigerator<br />

full <strong>of</strong> cold ones and the Pirelli calendar on<br />

the wall are nice to have in your garage, there<br />

are some more fundamental basics to think<br />

about when working on any vehicle.<br />

For example, is the floor or ground level?<br />

While watching your <strong>Porsche</strong> roll away from<br />

you on the jack makes for great comedy, it is<br />

neither safe nor pleasant.<br />

Is the floor clean? Slipping on oil or antifreeze<br />

can quickly introduce your s<strong>of</strong>ter body<br />

parts to hard metallic objects or result in a nasty<br />

sprain that will be embarrassing to explain.<br />

Is the space well lit? Searching for that nut<br />

you dropped is frustrating enough without having<br />

to do it in the dark.<br />

Is the space well ventilated? You probably<br />

already do a great job <strong>of</strong> sounding like an idiot<br />

without gassing yourself with exhaust or solvent<br />

fumes.<br />

Is there enough space? Nothing worse than<br />

having your car disassembled and realizing that<br />

you don’t have enough space to slide out whatever<br />

component you just spent four hours disconnecting.<br />

Have the proper tools<br />

You will thank yourself for investing in tools.<br />

For years, I changed to my track tires using the<br />

<strong>Porsche</strong> kit that came with the car. I am convinced<br />

the original equipment <strong>Porsche</strong> jack is<br />

some kind <strong>of</strong> East German surplus left over<br />

from the Cold War, and I gave myself many<br />

bruises and sprains trying to loosen lug bolts by<br />

jumping up and down on the breaker bar set<br />

that came with the car.<br />

Needless to say, it made for a great show.<br />

Until I remembered my high school triganometry<br />

and remembered “leverage.” I bought myself<br />

a nice shop jack, a long breaker bar and a<br />

set <strong>of</strong> sockets. I can now do all four wheels and<br />

brake pads in about 45 minutes instead <strong>of</strong> two<br />

hours. Yes, the correct tools make a difference.<br />

What is the basic set? You need a good shop<br />

jack, jack stands and wheel chocks to secure<br />

the car, a good set <strong>of</strong> ratchets and sockets, a<br />

good set <strong>of</strong> wrenches, a good set <strong>of</strong> screwdrivers<br />

and a good set <strong>of</strong> Torx and Security Torx<br />

(anyone who has worked on a <strong>Porsche</strong> can attest<br />

to Zuffenhausen’s maddening affinity for<br />

using Torx bolts where a perfectly good screw<br />

would suffice).<br />

If you’re really smart, you’ll make sure that<br />

the screwdrivers, ratchets, sockets and Torx are<br />

all interchangeable. I am not really smart,<br />

which is how I know to give you this advice.<br />

Protection<br />

Once you start working on your <strong>Porsche</strong>,<br />

you will learn two things about the car: One,<br />

there are hot surfaces in surprising places, and<br />

two, it has a tendency to eject fluids and particles<br />

at the most surprising times—usually<br />

when you are right beneath it. Thus, a good set<br />

<strong>of</strong> work gloves, goggles, and heavy work clothes<br />

will save you a lot <strong>of</strong> irritation, as well as physical<br />

pain.<br />

This isn’t limited to clothes—make sure<br />

you have an adequate supply <strong>of</strong> rags, cleaner<br />

and paper towels on hand to mop up any spills<br />

quickly. Trust me, it is much easier to save your<br />

paint from a brake fluid spill when you are not<br />

trying to mop it up with a 7-Eleven receipt you<br />

found in your back pocket.<br />

Finally, if you are going to be working with<br />

fuel lines or electrical, a fire extinguisher is a really,<br />

really good idea.<br />

Secure the car<br />

Working on an improperly secure vehicle is<br />

like texting while driving—everybody says it’s<br />

a bad idea and everyone has made an exception<br />

for themselves at one time or another. And<br />

like most, most <strong>of</strong> the time you get away with<br />

it. But, as my father likes to say, “It’s not the<br />

odds, it’s the stakes.”<br />

If a car falls <strong>of</strong>f a jack, rolls <strong>of</strong>f a lift or rolls<br />

away while you are working on it, count yourself<br />

lucky if all you have are several thousand<br />

dollars <strong>of</strong> repair bills. Cars are heavy, and when<br />

heavy things fall on you, it doesn’t end well.<br />

Start with a quality shop jack. Buy a good<br />

low-pr<strong>of</strong>ile floor jack that is properly rated for<br />

the weight <strong>of</strong> your car and make sure it is in<br />

good working order. If you have any doubts<br />

about your jack, buy a new one. It’s cheaper<br />

than repairing your oil lines or your head.<br />

Buy jackstands; they are the cheapest insurance<br />

you can get. If your jack fails, jackstands<br />

will save you lots <strong>of</strong> money and<br />

potentially horrific injury.<br />

<strong>Porsche</strong>s have specific jack points—you use<br />

other jack points at your peril and, trust me,<br />

the stuff you break is EXPENSIVE!<br />

Finally, buy yourself a set <strong>of</strong> wheel chocks.<br />

Again, it’s cheap insurance.<br />

Take your time and have fun<br />

Once you have the basics down (skill level,<br />

environment, tools, protection and securing<br />

the car) the best thing you can do to ensure a<br />

safe and successful project is to take your time.<br />

You make mistakes when you rush or when<br />

you are tired. Once, in a rush to change my<br />

pads prior to a track weekend and not paying<br />

attention, I put water into my brake-fluid reservoir.<br />

If it hadn’t been for my favorite mechanics<br />

squeezing me in at the last minute, I probably<br />

would have been testing the tire wall in Turn 1.<br />

If you can’t take your time, take it to a pr<strong>of</strong>essional.<br />

Finally, you should enjoy working on your<br />

car. Personally, I enjoy wrenching on my<br />

<strong>Porsche</strong> because nine times out <strong>of</strong> 10, when I<br />

put everything back together, it works. I can’t<br />

really say that about any other part <strong>of</strong> my life.<br />

der Vorgänger • <strong>April</strong> 2012 • 25

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