Inside: - Baton Rouge Bar Association

tales from
the bar side
BY VINCENT P. FORNIAS
Constitutional coupons
Recently our community had the distinct privilege of
experiencing something christened a “Second Amendment
Tax-Free Holiday.” What will these marketing mavens
think of next?
On its surface, this little constitutional buying
opportunity was directed to those who worship the rights
and privileges afforded by the Second Amendment to the
Bill of Rights – the right to bear arms, to dress in head-totoe
camouflage, to kill or maim all manner of mammals,
and generally to engage in various and sundry violent
shenanigans bearing little relevance to the modifying
clause of said Amendment (“A well regulated Militia,
being necessary to the security of a free State, …”).
But since now we have opened up this little
constitutional can of fishing worms, has anyone out there
considered the Equal Protection Clause and its palpable
violation by the abject favoritism that this economic boon
shows to the Bass Pro crowd?
What about the non-hunting artsy crowd? Isn’t there
a fundamental right to buy watercolors and stained glass?
Shouldn’t they get an occasional holiday from imposts at,
say, Caffery Gallery or Circa 1857? Think about half-price
day at a Bergman film festival at the Manship Theatre.
And shouldn’t there be a First Amendment bargain
day to enable thrifty freethinkers to get great deals at the
local Cottonwood Books or Barnes & Noble? Aren’t we
slighting all those deserving protesters or public assemblers
who deserve a break in outfitting themselves at Best Buy
or Radio Shack?
And while we are at this, why stop with the Bill of
Rights? Can’t someone fashion an annual Magna Carta
Day, with prices reduced by $12.15 to everyone named
John? Don’t forget The Siete Partidas. Fair Play for the
Code of Hammurabi!
8 Around the Bar
February 2011