Vedajyoti Ozah of Houston, Texas, has embarked upon the - Posoowa

18
The Art of Saying ‘No’
The word ‘No’ means a
complete and firm stop to all
kinds of advances made to
attain certain goals. Agreed, this
small word ‘No’ at times, leads to a
lot of displeasure and
discontentment; however, it is of
utmost importance that our children
learn to use this word in their dayto-day
life in a diplomatic and tactful
manner to avert undesirable human
actions in this modern and
overcrowded challenging world.
In the days of yore, when life was simple
and needs were limited, people used to
live happily in the society sharing each
other’s joys and sorrows because
those were the tension free days and
one could afford to live one’s life in a
leisurely way. With the advent of
science, technology and industrial
revolutions, although our life has
become more enjoyable, we are
however required to be more
diplomatic and discreet to keep pace
with the modern ways of living and
to face the sharp tooth of
competition at every step. If we or
members of our young generation
fail to fulfill these requirements then
we are confronted with lots of
undesirable mental stresses arising out
of trifle issues.
Some such stresses occur due to
development of strained relations
with friends and neighbors, tactless
behavior of our children so on and
so forth. It is therefore essential that
children be trained during childhood
on interpersonal relations and conflict
management, and to survive peacefully
in the society avoiding the destructive
social strains.
Here is a very simple example. Mr.
and Mrs. Choudhuri are a working
couple who remain busy from
morning till night. They have a cute
ten year old son, Minku who generally
stays at home after coming back from
school. The neighbor’s wife Sheila
seems to be very cordial and helpful
and often visits Minku’s house when
the parents are away. Sheila’s eight
year old son Suman is an unruly and
restless boy. He used to visit Minku’s
house while his mother took her midday-nap.
On the other hand Minku needs
to finish his home assignments during
this time only as he goes for tennis
coaching in the evening. Minku, being
a boy with very polished manners,
hesitates to say ‘No’ to Suman and
has to spend his valuable time in
playing PS2 and watching TV. They
are so much mesmerized by its spell
that they sit like couch potatoes
before the television set watching
anything and everything that is beamed
to them. Ultimately they become TV
addicts. Undoubtedly this has been
very damaging to his academic
progress. Eventually, Minku’s parents
came to know of all this and became
extremely agitated, and snapped off
friendly ties with the neighbor
forthwith. This has unduly created a
mental strain on Minku’s parents,
which was otherwise really not at all
called for. This could have been easily
avoided had Minku been trained how
to say ‘No’ in a decent way to such
actions of the neighbors. Refusal in a
decent and cogent manner does not
affect adversely in a child’s personality
development but goes a long way in his
Amrit Pritam wins IIFA 2009 award
for Ghajini for Best Sound
Amrit Pritam Dutta and Oscar
winner Resul Pookutty have jointly
won the 2009 IIFA Technical award
for Sound Recording in the film Ghajini.
International Indian Film Academy (IIFA)
awards are given yearly by the Indian
Bollywood industry. Amrit becomes the
first Assamese and the first person from
the entire North East of India to have won
an IIFA award. The 10th IIFA awards
celebrations are going to be held from the
11th to the 13th of June 2009 at the
Venetian Resort, Macao, China. Presently
Amrit Pritam and Resul Pookutty are
jointly working on actor/director Saurabh
Shukla’s “Pappu Can’t Dance Saala” and
“Blue”.
Jugal Kalita, Colorado Springs
overall mental growth and is of extreme
importance in grooming the child for
the future.
The way a child refuses is of
paramount concern. Declining a certain
request from the friends, ‘no thank
you’ with a smiling face will definitely
be more convincing and also
beneficial to the child. Hatred is a
destructive and damaging emotion.
While refusing something to
someone, the feeling of hatred or
despise must be shunned. Politely
declining a certain request in a
convincing manner will remove many
misgivings in our day-to-day dealings
and communication. Our children
should cultivate some strategies how
to say ‘positive no’ with polished
behavior and manners.
At the same time, a child should also be
trained to share the feelings of the people
around society. During the time of
crisis, helping the neighbors and
friends is a remarkable quality. To
sum up, we may say that proper
strategies in saying ‘No’ helps in
proper judgment and training for the
future leading to a five ‘D’ life as
follows:
· Disciplined life
· Determination to make
progress
· Discrimination of good and
bad habits
· Devotion to
duty
· Dedication
By Reena Sharma
Reena Sharma, a child psychologist, a
social worker and a composer and
choreographer, lives in Delhi with her
husband Binoy Brata Sharma, Former
Chairman and Managing Director of
Oil India Ltd. - Editor.
POSOOWA May 2009