AUTUMN 2007 - Serpentine

FEATURE
Serpie Decathlon
by John Cullinane, Simon Coles and Ian Payne
The 2007 Serpie decathlon championships took place on 21st July,
25 intrepid athletes braving the occasional downpour in a highly
competitive contest. Jasyn Savage won the men’s event from Jamie
Nelson, both scoring over 4,000 points, with Dan Bent third. Best
individual performance went to Simon Barrett, not for his epic
airport-to-Battersea charge, but his 744 points gained in the
1500m. The ladies champion was Pam Rutherford, on 2,053
points, chased home by Rachel Whittaker and Jen Marzullo.
Unfortunately, there was an injury to Alicia Heeneman, which
prompted a trip to hospital for her and JT. Undaunted, though, she
remembers the day thus: “The rest of the world find it strange that
I was pole vaulting, clearly they don't understand.” Exactly.
This is Simon Coles’ view of his first decathlon, with added
comments from Ian Payne – get your earplugs ready:
I am at the Battersea track and today I walk in for free – the place is
a Serpie haven for our decathlon. I have never attempted a decathlon
– rumours that Daley Thompson drops in to the stadium from time
to time are more of a worry than an inspiration. Here is my day:
100m – a great opportunity to get an accurate time for this event and
to try starting blocks. Both aspirations for me beforehand. I have
previously tried timing
“How do you get the
spikey end to stick
in the ground?”
the distance with my
watch but with arms
flying around at speed
it’s not possible to
get more than an
approximate reading
and even then it is at
the expense of seconds
in trying to hit the stop button. How close could I get to a sub 10?
Not close, but I only miss it by, say, a few seconds.
Long Jump – a runner likes to... run. It’s a really unnatural feeling to
jump at the same time. You have to suppress the running instinct
and think back to that school sports day years ago to rekindle the
memory's synapses. Not sure a long run up is a good thing either as
the faster I ran the less I wanted to jump – just wanting to continue
running right on through.....
Shot Put – the crucial thing here (for me anyway) was to make as
much noise as possible to try and detract all attention away from the end
result. In the men's
event Ian Payne was
just awesome with
an immense and
seemingly endless
lion’s roar which
frightened women,
children and
(especially) dogs in
the park for miles
around. Epic. (Ian
remembers it like
this: “I’d have been
better advised to
Dan Bent, wishing he hadn’t
eaten beans!
(photo: Alessandro Brandimarti)
concentrate more
on throwing than
roaring, as it didn’t
J T Wong, Alicia’s hero!
(photo: Alessandro Brandimarti)
seem to make the implements go any further. However, as JT said there
would be a prize for the best roaring, I thought this might be my best
chance of winning anything all day, and if it works for the pros…”)
High Jump – you get a nice curved run up, bouncing on the balls of
your feet, then....suddenly you are confronted with this bar and, er,
forget to jump. Runner’s instinct taking over again here for me. I
hear rumours from the women's event that one girl found the
runner’s answer – tackle the bar head on at full speed, treat it like a
hurdle... and combine the high jump and long jump as one event.
Lateral Serpie thinking at its best.
400m – many of us have done it but pretty impressive to see some
guys actually needing starting blocks. Not quite so much fun for me
to run a PB of 81.9 and find the decathlon scoring starts at times
below, er, 81.9. So that's nil points then. Oh, cheers. Maybe I
needed those blocks after all.
110m Hurdles – definitely for maniacs. Have you ever walked up to
a hurdle in the men's race? Try it. You may be left with the feeling
that it might just be possible to get over one with a good run up and
preferably a spring board too. (Ian did compete: “The hurdles were
slightly daunting, especially given that they were only 35cm lower
than the height I’d managed to clear in the high jump, but I was
determined to complete every event, and it was a great feeling
getting to the end without knocking a single one over!”)
Discus – whatever you do, don't spin before trying to hurl it into the
blue yonder. Not unless you know what you are doing. If you try and
you manage to a) not fall over before you let the thing go or b) avoid
clattering the side supports with the sound of a pistol shot echoing
around the whole stadium, then you are all but guaranteed to step
out of the front of the circle in a dizzy daze and foul your attempt
after letting go.
Pole Vault – First time I have ever tried. Must be easy to clear 1 metre
for goodness sake? It isn't. It is all about commitment and that doesn't
come naturally, not for blokes anyway. You have this ridiculous bendy
pole thingy that has a soft side (don't we all?) and you are hammering
along holding it out like some sort of Blue Marlin hunter's fishing rod
about to take the bite. Then what do you have to do when you have
achieved terminal velocity? Well, stick it in the ground of course.
Then the fun really starts. Now you have to get your feet in the air in
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