Do They Match Report Bangladesh - World Population Foundation

August, 2010 Do they match?
raises suspicion in society, so many young students go to the boys to meet their sexual
needs. The boys go to hotels for sex, and sometimes they also go to student hostels.
When one of the sex workers who was only ten was asked if he enjoyed having sex with
men, he said he feels attraction neither for men nor for women, but he just does it for
money. An NGO called ‘Bondhu’ provides them with services and education. None of the
boy sex workers have visited Tarar Mela either. We are not aware of any study on the
first sexual experiences of Bangladeshi men. However, it cannot be said that many boys'
first sexual experience is with a prostitute. Some might have first sexual experience with
their girlfriends, others with their relatives or maid servants and many wait to get
married to have the first sexual experience.
4.3 Pornography
Although the majority of the boys and girls were not either involved in romantic love or
sexually active, they satisfied their curiosity and found pleasure in watching pornographic
movies or erotic videos, reading pornographic magazines, masturbating etc. The young
researchers observed that various erotic visual and written materials are found in the
town. Boys and girls go to cyber cafés to watch porn movies on the internet. The young
researchers have found that mobile phones are widely used for erotic purposes. All the
older and younger boys said that watching pornographic clips on mobile phones is a
common practice. Boys buy a 7 minute pornographic movie clip for only three taka from
mobile shops (equivalent of 0,04$ or 0,03€). Boys download pornography from friends'
mobiles through Bluetooth. They described the varieties of pornography available on
mobiles: for example, ‘foreigners’, ‘cut-paste’ and ‘cut piece’ etc. (usually uncensored
pieces of film). In addition to mobile porn there are locally made musical videos or joke
videos which have lots of erotic elements. There are also cheaply printed magazines with
erotic pictures and texts which are also popular, mainly among boys. Many boys and girls
said they use mobiles for romantic or erotic pleasure. Girls said they get engaged in
erotic conversations through mobile phones late at night. It should be noted that this
kind of erotic pleasure is obtained also by the boys and girls who are involved in romantic
love or sexual relationships.
4.4 Stigma and fear
The YRs found that although some of the older and younger boys were involved either in
romantic relations or in sexual relations, the majority kept themselves away from any
such engagement. The reason they gave for this was that they were afraid of familial and
societal stigmatization. The boys said society had a negative attitude towards premarital
romance, and in particular sex. According to the boys, adults think that romantic love
may lead to sexual relations, which are prohibited in this society before marriage. As a
result the family has no tolerance for romantic relationships between young people. Many
boys and girls said that they thought their parents, extended family members, and even
their teachers would be very angry if they heard that they were engaged in romantic
love. They thought that their movements might be restricted. However, this fear was
more intense among the girls. The girls mentioned that if they were found to have love
affairs, the reputation of their families in society would be decreased. They thought this
might hamper their future marriage, as girls who have a history of love relationships find
it difficult to get a bridegroom, and also they need to give more dowry7 than the others.
7
Dowry: money or goods that a woman (through her family) brings to her husband or husband’s family upon
marriage.
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