The Cadet. VMI Newspaper. December 21, 1936 - New Page 1 ...

Exchange
Girls who drink gin
Are liable to sin
Girls who drink water
Go where they oughter.
—Mississippian.
Excerpts
Where It Started
After what seems to be extensive
study, the De Paulian has traced
down the originators ol our
modern witticisms:
Adam: "It's a great life if you
don't weaken."
Plutarch: "I'm sorry that I have
no more lives to give for my country."
Samson: 'Tm strong for you,
kid."
Jonah: "You can't keep a good
man down."
Cleopatra: "You're an easy Mark
Antony."
David: "The bigger they are, the
harder they fall."
Helen of Troy: "So this is Paris."
Columbus: " I don't know where
I'm going, but I'm on my way."
Nero: "Keep the home fires
burning."
Solomon: "I love the ladies."
Noah: "It floats."
Methusalah: "The first hundred
years are the hardest.
Queen Elizabeth to Sir Walter
Raleigh: "Keep your shirt on."
Gather ye good grades while ye
may,
The second year is tougher;
And this same prof that
today
Tomorrow may be rougher.
That year is best
first
When stude and prof are stranger;
It's not until he knows the worst
That you're in any danger.
—Parley-Vous.
Woman's Campus
You kissed and told,
But that's all right.
The man you told
Called up last night.
—Silver and Gold.
Another parody on "The Night
Before Christmas."
Permission Par Excellence
'Twas the night before exams,
when all thru the house
Not a creature was sleeping, not
even a mouse.
All down the hall and on top of
the stairs
Poor students were sitting on cushions
and chairs.
The faculty slumbered all snug in
their beds
While visions of flunk-slips danced
thru their heads.
And Jane with her Latin and I
with my math
Had sat there and studied 'till
midnight and past!
When we had both labored 'till
wee hours so late
We toddled to rest and left our
fortunes to fate.
Next morning we rose as soon as
'twas light
Then jangled the bell when the
hour drew nigh
Both of us uttered soft prayers to
the sky,
And grasping pencils and paper
in both of our hands
We rushed to the classroom and
—flunked both exams!
—The Harrisonburg Breeze
There is a story going around
about that bootlegger who was
raided by the state-police—and
then turns around and sues the
sheriff for breach of promise. —
Mississipian.
Gran Trecho . . .
The difference between Spain
and this country is that over here
we tell little boys that when
they grow up they will have a
chance to become president. There
they are told that when they grow
up they will have a chance at the
president.—Davidsonian.
"Stuff is a beautiful word," writes
Henry Rago in the DePaulian,
"because it means everything and
is in the rings of Saturn, and what
causes a comb to pick small pieces
of paper when you get through
combing your hair." Yes, this word
certainly has the stuff.—Lenoir
Rhynean.
Three decidedly illuminated
Britishers were traveling to London
by train. As the train pulled
to a stop at a station, one of the lit
trio asked of his wall-eyed companion,
"Is this Wembly" The
second souse shook his head somberly,
"No, it's Thursday." The
third soak perked up considerably.
"I'm Thursday too. Let's have a
drink."—Technique.
ed a silver loving cup for being
Chem Crack . . .
Little drops of acid
Little bits of zinc
Give us lots of learning
But raise an awful stink.
—Angustana Observer.
voted the most valuable man in
Claims Failure Is Not Due To
Heredity
Pittsburgh, Pa., ACP—Smashing
common alibis such as "No one in
our family could ever get mathmatics,"
Dr. Carroll A. Whitmer, assistant
professor of psychology at
the University of Pittsburgh, ex
plained that parents blame here
dity for faults of children in order
to escape the task of investigating
to determine the real cause
of failure.
Children as well as adults use
alibis to avoid criticisms, Dr. Whitmer
maintained. "If it were possible
to have a society in which
smiles
no criticism were offered or im
plied, it would be possible to eliminiate
alibis. Habits of thinking
which is the
and acting in ways to avoid deflation
of the ego are as fundamental
as any means of self-preservation.
"Desire for prestige is a trait
of man's fundamental nature," Dr.
Whitmer said. "Prestige" may be
gained by making an appearance
of acting upon reason rather than
impulse. Consequently, impulsive
or emotional behavior is justified
by alibis in order to make an appearance
of reason.
"One of the principal effects of
alibis is that they defeat the real
power of man's intellects. They
interfere with mental house cleaning.
They prevent a careful analysis
of situations in which mistakes
might give profitable experience
that would lead to more intelligent
conduct."
"Brother Rat" Gains Success
(Continued From Page 1)
and all tickets through the Christmas
season are gone. A number
of cadets and their families have
procured tickets and will see the
play during furlough.
The play will probably remain
in New York during the Winter,
and, if its success continues, will
probably go on the road next summer.
Warner Brothers motion picture
company has an option on its
movie rights, and, if the play becomes
a decided hit, may make it
into a film next year.
Alumni
Notes
"Maxie" Bair, '36, visited
last week.
here
Brooke Mallory, '29, is a doctor
now and practices on the VMI
Cadets.
Stumpy Travers, '34, last heard
from as Commandant at Fishburne,
is taking an accounting course in
Washington in preparation for service
with the G-Men.
According to a report from Mr.
Sipolski, of the ROTC offices here,
over one-third of the officers in
the United States Marine Corps
are VMI men.
Don Heap, star halfback of
Northwestern University, is flying
high these days. He has been doing
solo flying in the plane which
he and four other students bought.
Heap expects to apply for a private
pilot's license soon.—ACP.
nothing. Stuff is what elf-wings "Fatty" Clark, the 355-pound
are made of, and cobwebs, and guard who played with the University
of Arkansas in 1930 and '31,
moonlight when it tangles in a
baby's hair. Stuff is what makes was the largest college football
a man stand up in the ring for player in the world.—(ACP.
fifteen rounds when his eyes are
full ot blood. Stuff la what is in Subscribe to the remaining issues
of "The the Encyclopaedia Brltannica, what
Cadet."
Company D Takes Intramural
Wrestling
(Continued From Page S)
He followed up his attack and was
awarded a technical knockout in
one minute and forty seconds of
the first round. In the grand finale
W. H. "Red" Echols, A Company
had a slugfest with J. P. Larrick,
F. Company. Echols worried Larrick
with his unorthodox stance
and took the bout on points. Larrick
had a good left and showed
prospects of becoming a top-notcher
with a little coaching.
Between two of the boxing
matches, W. H. Moore was award-
the basketball tournament. Moore
led the individual scorers all season
and was the sparkplug of F
Company's team in every game.
"Bootnose" Zimmerman was awarded
a similar cup, being voted the
most valuable man in the touch
football tourney.
Standing of the Companies in
Wrestling:
Co. Standing
D First.
C Second.
A Third.
E Fourth.
B Fifth.
F Sixth.
Standing of the Companies in Boxing:
Co. Standing
C First.
E Second.
F Third.
B Fourth.
A Fifth.
D Sixth.
Dec. 18—The intramural rifle
matches closed this afternoon. A
great deal of interest was shown
by all the men competing and some
very good scores were turned in.
The five highest were as follows:
Travis, 1079; Stevens, 1078; O,-
Hara, 1068; Wilson, J. W., 1033;
Long, 1030.
The final standing of all the
teams is as follows:
First, E Company—4168.
Second, D Company—4020.
Third, A Company—3871.
Fourth, B Company—3870.
Fifth, C Company—3847.
Sixth, F Company—3778.
With this beginning the Varsity
Rifle Team is looking forward to
an exceptionally fine season. Although
it lost some good men last
Finals there are some Third Classmen
coming up that will find an
opening on the team. Regular varsity
practice will begin right after
the Corps returns from furlough.
All men interested in trying out
for the team are invited to do so.
Harriers Pick Spohr To Lead
Team In 1937
(Continued From Page E)
workouts, but he was finally able
to get in shape and placed high
in all three meets. If he has no
more trouble during the track seasons
he should be able to make
quite a name for himself by his
work on the cinder paths.
Looking Over The Southern
Conference
(Continued From Page 5)
gey" finish to the wrestling account.
To Company "E", fifth ranking
company (or is it sixth) I extend
my sincerest sympathies and humbly
beg pardon for the mistake of
my star intramural reporter. The
correction is that it was "E" Company
and not "C" Company, which
won the hectic struggle to keep out
of the cellar position in intramural
basketball. I will see to it
personally that a mistake of this
calibre does not occur again.
And now with your permission,
I take this opportunity to close my
last column of 1936 by wishing one
and all a very merry Christmas and
a happy and successful new year.
Little Cage Team Coached by
Ramey
(Continued From Pase 6)
ment. These daily games are of
great benefit to both squads and
help with the conditioning of the
players. Although Major Ramey
does not have as much material
to work with as he did last season,,
it is certain he will turn out
a team which will give a good account
of itself.
The Editorial and Business Staff
The Cadet
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