The King Of Christmas - Just Out

FASHION
Astrology
isElement-Ary
Long before Netflix or the electric light, our ancestors
turned to the heavens for their entertainment. The Sun,
the moon, and stars became their TV and over time they
got good at channel surfing. The ancients also enjoyed
a good plot line, so intricate mythologies were spun to
describe each constellation and like any episode of the
OC, they were jam-packed with plenty of intrigue and
loads of drama. Eventually this sky drama was brought
down to earth in the form of the 12 sign zodiac, and imbued
with the four elements of terra firma: Fire, earth,
air and water.
FIRE is life’s spark and fire signs are hot, sassy, frisky and free. These
firebrands want freedom to do what they please, but if they get the hots
for someone, especially another fire sign, they are the quickest to shack
up (think U-Haul gals).
Aries is the first fire sign, and they hit you with a pow! They’re fearless
pioneers who can work a crowd. When Elton John came out publicly,
it damaged him, but he kept coming back like a refurbished jet. These
guys have an assertive, masculine streak, and even the ladies look good
in tight jeans.
Leo is next, and they seem to draw you to them like cold hands to a warm
hearth or a flat screen TV during premier week. They’re arduous lovers
and very loyal. Delta Burke is one Leo cat who fought tooth and nail for
LGBT rights, not just for her fans but also for her lesbian sister.
Sagittarius is the most restless fire sign. They’re half horsey so they need
wide open spaces. They crave travel and adore hobnobbing with foreigners.
They’re uncomfortable in their own shoes (unless they’re dancing)
and want to try on your moccasins. SAG award winner Felicity Huffman
easily slipped into the shoes of a pre-op transgender woman in the film
Transamerica.
EARTH is stable, cautious, practical and surprisingly sensual. It takes
time for earth signs to be intimate, but once you go out with them you
become their property. What these folks lack in PDA’s, they make up for
in practical ways like fixing your water heater.
Earthy Taurus is pretty stubborn, but luckily they’re huggable, snuggable
and squeezably soft. This sign is packed with gay icons like Cher, Babs
and Grace Jones, along with “King of Trash” John Waters.
Virgo is a nervous earth sign that seems like a canary in the coal mine
with regard to the latest flu bug or elevated pollen count, but they are
extremely smart and meticulous in how they look after you. Lily Tomlin
is my fave Virgo/Lesbo combo.
Capricorn is a rags-to-riches sign that contains one of the biggest fag
hags. Dolly Parton says she loves makeup so much that if she were born a
man, she’d be a drag queen. David Bowie has some sugar too.
AIR is the intellectual element that focuses less on practicality and more
on possibility. These signs are fun talkers and extremely bright. They relate
to anyone and make you feel comfortable just being you. They seem
so relaxed in social settings that coming out for them might seem like a
breeze.
Gemini is the “double your pleasure, double your fun” air sign that
makes you giggle to tears, but sometimes their bad twin spoils the fun
by eating too many Jell-O shots. Boy George has been down that road.
Airy Libra tries to cultivate harmony and find a life partner all in one
fell swoop. Their ruler Venus makes them look good (just think of your
Continues on page 55
PHOTOGRAPHY Horace Long | TEXT Miss Tammy Whynot
MAKE-UP Viridiana Cervantes | ART DIRECTION Justin Warner
MODEL Fire & Earth, Pagen Holliday | MODEL Air & Water, Miss Tammy Whynot
54 JustOut.com December 2012