APRIL 2012 - ISSUE 03 - Massive Magazine

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APRIL 2012 - ISSUE 03

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CONTENTS 

ISSUE 3 

April. Where is the time going? 

Already the first semester is half 

over and soon the realisation 

that the study break was mostly 

break and less study will start 

to dawn. We are three editions 

down with five more to go and 

going strong. 

This issue continues to look 

into the issues surrounding 

hydraulic fracturing that were 

brought up last edition, in our 

main feature and includes an 

open debate on the subject 

between Green MP Gareth 

Hughes and PEPANZ as 

well as a follow up article to 

update everyone with what has 

happened in Parliament and 

Taranaki recently. 

Last month’s story on fracking 

has received almost 900 likes on 

Facebook to date, with people 

commenting on it from overseas 

which, I believe, shows the value 

of student publications and the 

reach we can have when we use 

our medium for more than just 

opinion pieces. 

The rest of this edition is a 

bit of a mixed bag. There is 

pole dancing, homelessness, 

media manipulation, comedy 

acts and even a piece on youth 

suicide and music. I hope you 

are enjoying the new format of 

MASSIVE. We will continue to 

grow and hone our style to bring 

you more of what you want to 

read about. 

I would like to add a big 

thank-you to all MASSIVE 

contributors who help make 

the publication what it is each 

month. Remember we always 

have space on the team so flick 

me an email if you are interested 

in joining up. 

Matt Shand, MASSIVE editor 

EDITOR 

Matt Shand 

editor@massivemagazine.org.nz 

04 801 5799 ext 62068 

DESIGN, LAYOUT & ART DIRECTION 

Cameron Cornelius 

allstylenotalent@gmail.com 

04 801 5799 ext 62064 

ADVERTISING & SPONSORSHIP MANAGER 

Jacob Webb 

advertising@mawsa.org.nz 

04 801 5799 ext 62069 

027 894 8000 

REGULARS 

02. NEWS 

05. LETTERS 

06. DEBATE 

35. MASSIVE CROSSWORD 

36. COLUMNS 

38. REVIEWS 

40. COMIC 

FEATURES 

07. COURSE RELATED COSTS - 

THE BIG SPEND 

12. WITHOUT A SAFETY BLANKET 

14. IT’S NOT THE GAS - IT’S THE PEOPLE 

16. EXPLODING THE MYTHS 

OF POLE DANCING 

18. THE HUNT FOR KONY - 

SETTING THE AGENDA ONLINE 

21. THE CLASS OF 95 

28. GIN AND AUGUST 

30. THE MAGIC ON STAGE REVEALED 

32. COCO SOLID AS PARALLEL 

DANCE ENSOMBLE 

34. FROM BATHTUB TO BEER BARONS 

CONTRIBUTORS 

Thjis De Koning, Yvette Morrissey, Benjii Jackson, Matt 

Shand, Jess Roden, Elizabeth Beattie, Elisha Stephens, 

James Greenland, Emilie Marschner, Olivia Marsden, 

Trish Plunkett, Paul Berrington, Miriam Richdale, 

Daniel Hargreaves, Sam Bonney, Tim Cederwall, Allan 

Werner, Claydan Kirvan, Krysten McLeod, David Suk, 

Noel Hutchinson, Jessica Frank, Jonathan MacDonald, 

Amelia Jenkinson, Nicole Canning 

PUBLISHER 

Wellington Edition 

ISSN 2253-3133 (Print) 

ISSN 2253-3141 (Online) 

Manawatu Edition 

ISSN 2253-315X (Print) 


Albany Edition 

ISSN 2253-3176 (Print) 


This publication uses vegetable based inks and environmentally 

responsible papers. The document is printed throughout on 

SUMO Laser, which is FSC® certified and from responsible 

and Well Managed Forests, manufactured under ISO14001 

Environmental Management Systems. MASSIVE magazine is 

committed to reducing its environmental footprint. 

www.massivemagazine.org.nz

NEWS 

COMMUNICATION LACKING 

OVER STUDY MATERIALS 

Yvette Morrissey 

Many students may have 

noticed changes to the 

way course notes are 

distributed. Online materials are 

now becoming the default option, 

the transition causing teething 

problems among students. 

The cost of computer ink cartridges 

has some spending hundreds 

of dollars on printing their 

materials, with many unaware 

they can ask for hard copies of 

these study materials for free. 

Massey University notes that 

in Semester 1, 2010, only two 

students asked for hard copies 

of their online Administration 

Guides. Some students believe 

this low number indicates a lack 

of communication from Massey, 

because there are many complaints 

coming in about this, particularly 

on the website Review It. 

Though the process of digitalisation 

has its advantages – 

reduced carbon-copy print being 

one – the main purpose for the 

change is to save the university 

money. Massey also notes that internal 

students will be able to receive 

their materials even sooner 

via Stream than if they were to 

wait to pick up material from the 

print shop. 

With the advantages of digitalisation, 

many students are still 

finding this new process conflicting. 

Marinka Kingma is one who 

finds reading notes off Stream 

challenging. 

“I think it sucks because I am 

a very visual learner. I like having 

what I am studying in front 

of me and being able to sort out 

my study notes visually. It’s hard 

when the notes are on Stream because 

I can’t highlight anything – 

all I can do is flick through it.” 

To solve the problem of notetaking, 

Massey initially employed 

Annotate, a program that allows 

written notes to be recorded on 

a range of digitalised study materials, 

including PDFs and PowerPoint 

presentations. However, 

Massey withdrew this tool when 

not enough students were using 

it. 

Perhaps if there was better 

communication around the 

changes to notes, this tool would 

have been used more. 

Massey’s goal in its Road to 

2020 Strategy of exploring the 

potential of new digital media 

contains two Digital Learning 

Resource (DLR) initiatives: Online 

Administration Guides, and 

Online Study Guide and Course 

Readings. This makes Massey the 

only university in New Zealand to 

publish information for papers 

online. This change was inevitable, 

and has caused many extramural 

students to complain. 

Extramural Massey Students 

Society (EXMSS) President Ralph 

Springett has written many blogs 

on the subject, and maintains the 

position of “supportive watchdog”. 

“Massey is going in the right 

direction with digitalisation, but 

needs to supply solutions alongside 

the problems digitalisation 

creates,” he says. 

Massey has agreed to provide 

students with hard copies if they 

require them, but many are unaware 

of this. 

So the issue here, really, is communication. 

Although Massey 

says there has been regular consultation 

with student representatives, 

the complaints from students 

outweigh the compliments. 

It is now up to Massey to listen 

to students and to make them 

more aware of the ongoing changes 

and the options they have. 

If students have any issues getting 

hard-copy versions of materials, 

they should contact the 

Massey Contact Centre. Failing 

that, EXMSS also has discovered 

a direct line into Massey that can 

quickly resolve any printed material 

issues: student-informationresources@massey.ac.nz 

WHOOPS WE MADE SOME 

MASSIVE MISTAKES 

In the March issue of 

MASSIVE magazine there were 

a few errors that we would like 

to apologise for and correct. 

In the article headed Fracking: 

The Deeper You Dig The Darker 

it Gets, the author’s name was 

inadvertently dropped from 

the standfirst. That extensive 

article was written by freelance 

journalist Jamie Christian 

Desplaces. MASSIVE would like 

to apologise for this oversight. 

In the article headed To Sell or 

Not to Sell, the accompanying 

graph was incorrectly labelled. 

It should have read “83.4% No” 

and “17.3% Yes”. 

There were also some typos 

elsewhere for which we apologise. 

We will strive to prevent 

this from occurring in the future. 

letters@massivemagazine.org.nz 

COVER ARTIST 

–YELZ 

The cover of this month’s 

MASSIVE is based around 

a comic called ‘Castles’ by 

Wellington Illustrator Yelz. 

The initial character concepts 

were developed through a multitude 

of stickers stuck around 

the city by the artist. 

Eventually, through some 

intensive doodling, a story developed 

about a little tower and 

his attendee who travel around 

in Yelz’s sporadic imaginative 

worlds. 

If you would like to follow Yelz’s 

work, or have some work for the 

artists, you can go to 

http://Ilikeyelz.co.nz and email 

at yelzie@gmail.com. 

ps.Yelz is exhibiting with a 

number of other NZ and international 

artist, at a show in OZ 

curated by dr.Foothead. 

visit http://footheadfly.blogspot.com. 

02

ARAB SPRING: 

LIFTING THE VEIL 

Benjii Jackson 

In late 2010, a revolutionary 

wave of demonstrations and 

protests occurred throughout 

the Arab world – from Tunisia, 

Egypt, Libya to Yemen. Civil uprisings 

forced the rulers of these 

four countries out of power, while 

protests took place in Bahrain, 

Syria, Algeria, Iraq, Jordan, Kuwait, 

Morocco, Oman, Lebanon, 

Sudan... the list goes on. The 

Western world saw the power of 

protest as the Arab Spring took 

place. The Documentary Edge 

Festival 2012 pays tribute to these 

earth-moving moments in recent 

history and the emerging voices of 

the Arab world. 

On January 25 last year, Egyptians 

woke up not expecting that 

a public holiday would turn into a 

revolution overthrowing Egypt’s 


political regime. Tahrir 2011: The 

Good, the Bad and the Politician 

chronicles the lives of the protesters, 

the police forces and profiles 

Hosni Mubarak by several political 

figures. Mixing interviews with 

footage from the demonstrations, 

Tahrir 2011 playfully debunks the 

misconceptions and stereotypes 

that have risen from this important 

day in Egypt’s history. Tahrir 

2011 is an unprecedented, valuable 

and unexpected insight into 

the Arab World. 

Director Amal Ramsis’ starting 

point for her documentary is 

a simple sentence with heavy hitting 

implications: what isn’t forbidden 

in Egypt? One of the most 

insightful documentaries since 

the January 25 revolution, Forbidden 

reveals through discussions 

with Ramsis’ friends how 

difficult and even absurd life is for 

ordinary citizens under Mubarak’s 

regime. Rules govern filming 

on the street, where to walk, who 

to mix with, where you can go and 

what you can buy – and if you are 

a woman, this is even more burdensome. 

When Nefise Özkal Lorentzen 

was little, she used to send letters 

to Allah by balloon. Now she 

wants to send A Balloon for Allah 

to change the role of women 

in the Muslim culture. A Balloon 

for Allah shifts between documenting 

her journey to rediscover 

the Islam of her mother’s mother 

to charting the dreams Nefise 

holds. 

In The Last Days of Winter, 

director Mehrdad Oskouei follows 

the lives of seven teenage 

boys; inmates in a children’s 

correctional unit. Set in the last 

few days of winter ahead of the 

Iranian New Year, Oskouei gains 

their trust and confidence. As the 

boys share their thoughts to the 

camera – including what brought 

them to the facility, their hopes 

and fears - viewers see they are no 

different from other children. 

Original and creative, disturbing 

and heart-wrenching, Malaki 

– Scent of an Angel sheds light on 

the trauma of six different families 

affected by Lebanon’s long 

and bloody civil war. None of the 

families know the fate of their abducted 

family member or whether 

he or she is dead or alive. 

Teta, Alf Marra (Grandmother, 

A Thousand Times) is a cinematic 

love letter to Teta Fatima, 

a feisty Beiruti grandmother. 

Forced to cope with the silence of 

her once buzzing household, she 

imagines what awaits her beyond 

this life. Director Mahmoud Kaabour’s 

documentary commemorates 

his grandmother’s many 

worlds before they are erased by 

the passage of time and death. 

Screening with Arabic Fusion: 

The Sound Between the Notes, a 

musical exploration of contemporary 

Arabic music. 

The Documentary Edge 

Festival runs from the April 26 

- May 13 in Auckland and May 

17 - June 3 in Wellington 

03

NEWS 

COMPETITION WINNER 

This month we received heaps 

of entries for the ‘Zombifying 

Experience’ competition. After 

comparing all the answers we 

selected our favourite from 

Auckland based student Jon 

Anders which was a little out of 

the box. 

“In my opinion, the best 

place to go when the zombie 

apocalypse eventually comes 

around would be the nearest 

Ford dealership and hot-wire a 

Mustang gt500. 

This is for two reasons: 

1. I’ve always wanted to drive a 

Mustang, so what better time to 

fulfill a dream, and should I turn 

into a zombie, I would “un-die” 

happy. 

2. Because how awesome 

would it be to run over a horde 

of zombies in a car, more over, 

in a car as awesome as the 

Mustang. Also, should the unfortunate 

happen and I do get 

turned into a zombie myself, I 

would be epic because I would 

be a zombie driving a Mustang.” 

Jon has won himself, and 

three friends the chance to be 

chased by hordes of zombies at 

Spookers, Run for your freakn 

life event. Good luck Jon. 

WIN 2012 NZ 

INTERNATIONAL COMEDY 

FESTIVAL PASSES 

The good chaps at the 2012 NZ 

International Comedy Festival 

have generously given us 

passes for some of their hilarious 

events coming up over the 

next few weeks. 

First we have two double 

passes to Andrew O’Neil’s 

Auckland show and one double 

pass to his Wellington show. 

Andrew O’Neil is a transvestite, 

heterosexual, cross-dressing, 

steam punk, metal head, vegan, 

and occult comedian. He is also 

a bit ‘alternative’! 

We also have four passes to 

give away (2 for Wellington and 

2 for Auckland (sorry Palmy) to 

the stage show Bombs Away 

taking place: 

May 1 Wellington - 6.30pm at 

Bats Theatre 

May 15 Auckland - 7.15pm at 

Loft@Q 

To enter simply send your best 

knock-knock joke, or a reason 

why the chicken crossed the 

road to: competitions@massivemagazine.org.nz 

GET YOUR LAUGH ON! 

Matt Shand 

1993 wasn’t a very good year 

for entertainment. Honestly 

– Weekend at Bernie’s II? 

Sister Act 2? Look Who’s Talking 

Too? Yes, we had Sam Neil in both 

Jurassic Park and The Piano, but 

then there was Hulk Hogan in Mr. 

Nanny. Thankfully, the NZ International 

Comedy Festival came to 

the rescue, holding it’s inaugural 

event at the Watershed Theatre 

in Auckland. Twenty Festivals 

on and its going from strength to 

strength. Hogan’s acting career? 

Not so much. 

This year’s Festival is a mixture 

of some old friends returning 

to our shores, local favourites, 

and some exciting new comedians 

making their Festival debut. 

There’ll be comedy talent you may 

have spotted on Graham Norton, 

Michael McIntyre’s Comedy 

Roadshow, Live At the Apollo, 

Mock The Week and Never Mind 

The Buzzcocks and, of course, 7 

Days, Would I Lie To You? and A 

Night At The Classic. 

The returning Festival favourites 

include; Rhys Darby (NZ), 

David O’Doherty (IRE), The Boy 

With Tape On His Face (NZ), 

Stephen K Amos (UK), and Urzila 

Carlson (SA/NZ), Janey Godley 

(SCOT), Marcel Lucont (FR), 

Brendhan Lovegrove (NZ) and 

many, many, many more! 

It all kicks off with hearty 

belly laughs at the Comedy Gala 

(Auckland) and First Laughs 

(Wellington), which we’re stoked 

to announce will hosted by the 

multi-talented Greg Behrendt 

(USA), stand-up comedy extradonaire 

and the co-author of 

three-million-copy bestseller 

He’s Just Not That Into You. It 

may be our twentieth festival, but 

it’s Greg’s very first appearance in 

New Zealand. 

Tere are some epic events happening 

this year with the return 

of Le Comique, Best of the Billys, 

Late Laughs, Stand-Up For Kids, 

SKYCITY Gastrocomique with 

7 Days, and the next generation 

comedians in the Class Comedians 

Showcase. To finish up, Last 

Laughs hosted by Te Radar will 

showcase the best in show with 

the finalists of the Billy T Award 

and the Fred Award competing to 

win the coveted titles! 

To top things off the Comedy 

Convoy embarks on it’s two week 

road trip, making twelve pit stops 

along the length and breadth of 

our great nation, hosted by the 

country’s Best Presenter, Jeremy 

Corbett (7 Days) and with 

performances by Urzila Carlson 

(NZ/SA), Gordon Southern (UK), 

Simon McKinney (NZ) and Marcel 

Lucont (FR). 

In the unforgettable lyrics of 

1993 Tag Team hit – Whoomp 

There It Is! 

NZ COMEDY 

FESTIVAL LINEUP 

JANEY GODLEY IN ‘THE 

GODLEY HOUR’ 

AUCKLAND: 

Mon 14 May – Sat 19 May, 8:30pm 

WELLINGTON: 

Mon 30 April to Sat 5 May, 7pm 

GORDON SOUTHERN ‘A BRIEF 

HISTORY OF HISTORY’ 

WELLINGTON 

Tue 1 May to Sat 5 May, 7pm 

Auckland 

May 7-12 May, 8.30pm 

ANDREW O’NEIL ‘ALTERNATIVE” 

AUCKLAND 

Mon 7 to Sat 12 May, 8:30pm 

WELLINGTON 

Tue 1 May to Sat 5 May, 8:30pm 

TERRY ALDERTON 

AUCKLAND 

Mon 7 May – Sat 12 May, 7pm 

WELLINGTON 

Tue 1 May to Sat 5 May, 8:30pm 

CHRIS COX 

‘FATAL DISTRACTION’ 

AUCKLAND 

Sat 28 April – Sat 5 May, 7pm 

WELLINGTON 

Dates: Tue 8 May to Sat 12 May 

THE BOY WITH TAPE ON HIS 

FACE ‘MORE TAPE!’ 

AUCKLAND 

Mon 14 to Sat 19 May, 7pm 

WELLINGTON 

Sat 12 May / 7pm 

CRAIG CAMPBELL 

AUCKLAND 

Sat 28 April – Sat 12 May, 8:30pm 

WELLINGTON 

Mon 14 May to Sat 19 May 

04

LETTERS 

Massive magazine welcomes 

letters of all shapes and sizes, 

They should preferably be 

emailed to letters@massivemagazine.org.nz, 

though they 

can be dropped into any student 

association office. The 

Editor reserves the right to edit, 

abridge, or just plain bastardise 

them, and will refuse any that 

are in bad taste or defamatory. 

Pseudonyms may be used. 

RE FRACKING 

I’d like to congratulate Massive 

Magazine for what is probably the 

best piece of reporting on the subject 

of fracking in NZ I’ve seen. 

Hydraulic fracturing, or ‘fracking’ 

is a controversial drilling 

technique that many developed 

countries have placed moratoriums 

on or banned outright. The 

article revealed a history of well 

blowouts in New Zealand that 

should be part of investigations 

into concerns into operations in 

Taranaki. 

There are a number of considerable 

serious concerns around 

water contamination, air pollution, 

links to earthquakes and 

health impacts of the chemicals 

used to ‘frack’ wells. Until more is 

known and it can be proved safe 

it would be responsible to place a 

moratorium in New Zealand. 

Gareth Hughes MP 

RE FRACKING 

I just wanted to say that the 

piece on fracking in Taranaki was 

the most well researched and brilliantly 

investigated article in Massive/Magneto 

that I have read 

since coming to Massey in 2010. 

Jamie has truly delivered, and I 

would expect such an article in 

the Listener! 

Considering I spent 18 years of 

my life in Taranaki before coming 

to Wellington to study, and my entire 

extended family live there and 

have lived there for 8 generations, 

I find myself now completely involved 

in the fracking issue. My 

grandmother has been diagnosed 

and treated for cancer twice, and 

thankfully she has the all clear for 

the moment. Her sisters weren’t 

so lucky. If there was any chance 

that such illnesses could have 

been prevented... I don’t know 

what I would do. I know the first 

conclusion is to jump to ‘people 

are getting cancer’ but things just 

seem a little too... Coincidental. 

Not to mention the effects on the 

environment. 

The people who SHOULD know 

all the answers DON’T seem to 

know all the answers. Even after 

presenting these ‘facts’ in a report 

they can’t seem to remember. 

Something is wrong here. And I 

don’t want some shoddy excuses 

and half truths while people could 

be suffering for such a shitty thing 

as fracking. 

Thanks Jamie for an extensive 

article, and good luck to Sarah - I 

wish her all the best in trying to 

find the truth, I will rally right 

alongside her. 

Hayley 

ABORTION 

ALRANZ promotes a culture of 

death by seeking to have the law 

changed to make it no longer a 

crime to kill an unborn child. It 

is not widely known that the killing 

of an unborn child is a serious 

crime.The Crimes Act 1961, under 

Part viii, Crimes against the Person, 

section 183, Procuring an 

abortion by any means, states that 

everyone is liable to imprisonment 

for a term not exceeding 14 

years who with intent to procure 

a miscarriage of any woman uses 

an instrument or administers any 

drug to cause a miscarriage. Unborn 

children may be killed in 

special and rare circumstances 

provided for in section 187A. It 

is always wrong to kill the innocent 

and we all have a responsibility 

to defend life. The killing of 

children in the womb is a human 

rights issue not a health issue.The 

state has a responsibility to the 

common good to provide effective 

legal protection for unborn 

children who are the weakest 

and most defenceless members 

of the human family. It is disappointing 

that ALRANZ purports 

to promote woman’s rights, seeks 

to denigrate and deny the humanity 

of unborn children, in doing 

so they denigrate the dignity of 

women. It was ALRANZ that expressed 

pleasure when the Court 

of Appeal last year stated in its 

judgement that the unborn child 

did not have a right to life. .This 

reaction was offensive to women 

and undermined the dignity of 

women and motherhood. The 

true feminist position is one that 

upholds the dignity of women and 

respect and protection for her unborn 

children. Women have an 

absolute right not to get pregnant. 

Children have a right to be 

conceived and born into a loving 

marriage. Marriage is for the protection 

of women and their children. 

There would be no call for 

abortion if acts of pro -creation 

were confined to marriage. It is a 

great tragedy that with the false 

message being promoted by Family 

Planning that women should 

be sexually active before marriage 

that is the cause of much suffering 

for women. The exercise of abstinence 

before marriage is the only 

effective way to protect women 

from unlanned pregnancies, STIs 

and abortions 

No name supplied 

ABORTION AS 

HOLOCAUST 

In reply to ‘Abortion as Holocaust’ 

(published in March issue) 

Thankyou Natalie Thorburn 

and Daniel McGrath for your letter 

helping to raise awareness of 

the issue of abortion in NZ, and 

especially as depicted in the DVD 

‘180’. Well worth the watch this 

DVD can be requested free of 

EVERY LETTER WINS! 

LETTERS 

All letters receive a prize courtesy of Massive 

Magazine. This month it’s 250 Gram 

bag of Peoples’ Coffee. Either come to 

the mawsa office or email: competitions@ 

massive.org.nz to collect your prize. 

charge, or watched online. 

The connection made between 

the Holocaust in Nazi Germany 

and abortion practices here in 

NZ is a sobering one. It is commonly 

known how horrified and 

sickened ‘good’ German citizens 

were when they realized the extent 

of the methodical extermination 

of human life in their own 

back yards. Although out of sight 

and out of mind, there was always 

the smoke and that same smoke 

continues to belch from chimneys 

at numerous medical facilities in 

this country. 

You wrote “grotesque images of 

dead bodies & living foetuses...is 

contrary to the rights of students 

to feel safe on their campus”. 

Abortion, the tearing of babies’ 

limbs is grotesque and where 

are their rights to feel safe in the 

womb? 

Marie Cleland, Massey, 

Palmerston North 

FINGERS IN RINGS 

A good friend of mine and I 

were out fishing the other day 

on his boat. Making the most of 

the summer sun and enjoying 

the idyllic river, we lazed about 

with our fishing rods as the hours 

passed. When I finally had a bite, 

I grappled with the fishy beast for 

a few minutes before it’s brutish 

strength pulled me into the water 

and dragged me along the riverbed. 

The rod slipped from my 

grasp and as I saw the fish disappear 

into the murky depths, I 

spotted a shiny glint amongst the 

disturbed rockbed. Rescuing the 

curious treasure, I pulled myself 

onto the shore where my friend 

was waiting for me anxiously. 

It was a ring. Then I killed him 

and disappeared into the Misty 

Mountains. 

The Precious 


05

DEBATE 

DEBATE 

SHOULD A MORATORIUM BE 

PLACED ON HYDRAULIC FRACTURING 

WHILE THE PCE CONDUCTS HER 

INVESTIGATION INTO THE PRACTICE? 

PEPANZ 

Petroleum Exploration and Production Association of NZ 

Modern life is dependent upon oil and gas - computers, cars, 

food, heating – life would be very different without it. Renewables 

are coming, but can’t keep up with world increase in demand 

for energy. For now oil and gas is the number one energy source. 

Natural gas is the cleanest and most efficient hydrocarbon. We 

are lucky in New Zealand to have enough to fuel our lives and our 

industries. What’s more, we produce it cleanly and safely. 

A well proven technique for producing gas from tight rock reservoirs 

is hydraulic fracturing. The process pumps 98% water, and 

2% sand and household chemicals over a period of 3 hours to create 

tiny fissures (just 50m long) at an average well depth of 3500m 

(3.5km deep)below the earth’s surface (that’s 3km deeper, through 

solid rock, than any fresh water aquifer). The tiny fractures (thinner 

than a drinking straw, held open by tiny grains of sand) enable a 

pathway for gas to reach the well bore and up to the surface. It’s 

a dedicated engineering discipline, performed by people who are 

equally concerned about protecting our environment for today and 

the next generation. 

Hydraulic fracturing has occurred in natural gas reservoirs in 

Taranaki since 1993. There have been no incidents of drinking 

water contamination, land contamination or earthquakes linked to 

hydraulic fracturing. Our track record alone shows no justification 

for a moratorium. It seems there are some who see political advantage 

from scaremongering about an industry and science they 

do not understand and are philosophically opposed to. 

An investigation will correct misinformation about the environmental 

impacts of hydraulic fracturing, will show the engineering 

science behind the practice and the incredible commitment from 

the industry to eliminate risk and ensure the practice is undertaken 

safely. 

New Zealand has very strict regulations and rules around environmental 

control. New Zealanders should have confidence in our 

scientists and regulators. 

Head of Petroleum Geosciences at GNS Science in New Zealand, 

Dr Rosemary Quinn, says ground tremors from hydraulic 

fracturing are smaller than those caused by a truck driving down 

the road, so are therefore minor compared to natural background 

levels of seismic activity. Hydraulic fracturing does not cause 

earthquakes. It takes much more than pumping water down a 

nine inch well bore to move millions of tonnes of earth and cause 

an earthquake. 

As an industry we have nothing to hide and everything to gain 

from participating in an open and honest dialogue. Not just about 

hydraulic fracturing, but also about how the industry employs 7000 

people, is our fourth largest export earner and could create so 

much more energy security and wealth for New Zealand, without 

compromising our environment. 

GARETH HUGHES 

Green Party MP 

Frack yeah or frack no? Fracking, the controversial drilling practice 

for oil and gas, has burst on to the public scene in the past 

year and now the Parliamentary Commissioner for the Environment 

has announced an investigation. Hydraulic fracturing, to give 

it its formal title, involves pumping water, sand, and chemicals at 

high pressure deep into the ground to extract oil and gas. Given 

the large number of concerns both in New Zealand and overseas, I 

believe the responsible thing to do would be to place a moratorium 

on new wells until the commissioner returns with her findings. 

New Zealand is on the cusp of a big expansion of the fracking 

industry. Permits covering 4.4 million hectares of land have already 

been approved, with a further three million being considered by 

the Government. In the past year we have seen a 170 per cent 

increase in the rate of new wells, compared with the average rate 

for the previous 18 years. 

Energy Minister Phil Heatley has welcomed the investigation 

and says it will answer some questions. I believe it would make 

sense to wait for the results of the investigation before allowing 

new fracking wells to go ahead. 

Fracking in New Zealand to date has occurred only in Taranaki, 

where we have seen well blowouts and water contamination, and 

consents being breached. And that’s from a comparatively small 

number of wells drilled over 20 years. The industry’s own reports 

to the Taranaki Regional Council show we have already seen some 

of the many potentially harmful effects. The fracking- related earthquakes 

reported in other countries might not yet have happened in 

Taranaki, but poor processes, blowouts, and water contamination 

have. 

Of the 10 countries where fracking has taken place, seven have 

put nationwide or regional bans or moratoriums on the practice. 

Only New Zealand, China, and Ireland haven’t. Where fracking is 

occurring so is damage, and governments and regional authorities 

around the world are waking up to this. 

The New Zealand Government has a responsibility to protect 

the farmers, communities, and local councils, who all have legitimate 

concerns. Both the Government and the oil and gas industry 

acknowledge these concerns. Four local councils have now requested 

that the Government introduce an immediate moratorium, 

and at least two community boards have declared their regions 

frack-free zones. 

Both sides of the argument admit more information and research 

is needed on the New Zealand context of the debate. The oil and 

gas isn’t going anywhere, so what’s the rush? The Government 

should wait until the Parliamentary Commissioner for the Environment 

can assure the public that fracking is safe before allowing a 

massive expansion to occur. 

06

Jess Roden looks at the use of course-related costs and asks how smart is to give $1000 to 

every student, regardless of need and circumstance. 

COURSE-RELATED COSTS: THE BIG SPEND-UP 

Two-minute noodles, goon sacks, 

country road bags, coffee addictions, 

toga parties, couches set 

alight … these are all things associated 

with university students. We typically 

live from one StudyLink payment to another, 

which fortunately arrive just before 

the weekend. And each fortnight when rent 

comes out we’re left wondering if giving a 

kidney would be less painful. 

Though student loans are taken for 

granted most of the time, it cannot be denied 

that they are the backbone of tertiary 

education. They finance not only our studies 

but our lifestyle. In a broad context, the 

student loan scheme gives students from 

every background the opportunity to study 

at a tertiary level. 

But on closer inspection, the course-related 

costs aspect leaves a lot to be desired. 

For the past 20 years, loans for course-related 

costs have given full-time students access 

to $1000 at the start of the year which 

is meant to go towards textbooks, resources, 

travel, etc. 

But this one-size-fits-all approach is 

limiting students and wasting thousands 

of taxpayer dollars. While the cost of living 

has risen significantly over the past 20 

years, loans for course-related costs have 

remained the same. 

Some students find that $1000 is not 

nearly enough, and the quality of their 

projects is suffering because they can’t afford 

to buy the best resources. At the same 

time, other students look forward to the 

week-long bender that their course-related 

loans will finance. 

+++ 

Third-year design student Rhianna Field 

says $1000 doesn’t come close to covering 

all the resources she needs to complete 

her projects. A computer and software are 

necessities but are in no way covered by 

course-related costs. She needs to use good 

quality products for presenting her work 


GRAPHIC BY CAMERON CORNELIUS 

07

FEATURE 

because “you actually get marked better if 

you present it better, which means you need 

better paper and you have to use the good 

stuff. You can’t just do cheap shit ’cause 

you’ll get a bad mark … it actually affects 

your mark.” 

Third-year fashion and business student 

Ann Li agrees. Her courses are different to 

others in that they don’t require textbooks 

at the start of the semester, although materials 

needed throughout are the things that 

add up. Her course-related costs are material, 

thread, embellishing, paper, printing, 

etc. She says she’s unsure if she needs access 

to more than the $1000, because she 

knows she will have to pay it back, but “I 

would like the option”. 

Meredith Barley graduated with a fashion 

and business degree from Massey Wellington 

last year. In her fourth and final 

year she had to save all her money for her 

final project. She says she “waited until just 

before the end of year to get my course-related 

costs which covered paying my photographer 

and seamstress and printing of 

my final collection and a couple of other 

things here and there, but basically I was 

self-funded for the whole of the year. 

“Basically, it’s a mission, and if you asked 

anyone in my year they would tell you the 

same”. In her year, one student spent almost 

$10,000 on her couture collection, 

which was funded by her parents. 

One fourth-year fine arts student, who 

prefers not to be named, says she thought 

the cost of materials was different for everyone, 

but they hit design students the hardest. 

“There definitely is [pressure to buy the 

best materials] and definitely in certain 

classes. So, when I did print-making, for 

example, you were expected to buy a lot of 

special paper which was more and more expensive 

the better you get. But not for everyone, 

and not in all classes.” 

She agrees with other design students 

that “if you use really cheap materials or 

skimp out then they can tell and it makes 

them question what you’ve done and why 

you’ve done that”. She says there are probably 

people who use their course-related 

costs irresponsibly, but in her course she 

thought that most, if not all, “do legitimately 

use it for their materials”. 

+++ 

But flip the coin over, and there’s Emma, 

a third-year communications student 

at Wellington, who admits squandering her 

$1000. Despite being a conscientious student, 

Emma says the whole lot in second 

year went towards an iPod touch and part of 

her bond. When asked about this year, she 

shrugs: “I have absolutely nothing to show 

for it”. She describes buying a new pair of 

shoes which she justified at the time by saying 

“I’ll walk to uni in them”. 

Emma knows she will have to pay the 

loan back, but like many she’s not thinking 

about that now. She’s not worried in the 

slightest about StudyLink following her up, 

though admits course-related costs are “too 

easy” to get. 

Third-year communications student Abbie 

concurs. She had no trouble justifying 

spending $300 of her $1000 on flights to 

Brisbane. Previously she has generally used 

the course-related loan for textbooks because 

she had to. As for paying it back? It 

isn’t something she thinks about. 

Take a look on Facebook and you’ll see 

that Emma and Abbie are just two examples 

of how some use their loans for courserelated 

costs to finance their lifestyle as opposed 

to their studies. Status updates show 

the casual attitude that some students have 

towards the loans: “bring on the 8th of Feb 

when StudyLink gives me $1000. Am in 

desperate need”. “Wow, I 4got what it felt 

like to put more than $5 petrol in my car … 

kinda nice. Thank you course-related costs 

;)”. 

Could this be because they know they 

won’t have to justify themselves to the notso-terrifying 

wrath of StudyLink? 

+++ 

StudyLink advises students applying for 

course-related costs to keep receipts 

because they may be asked to prove how 

08

WHAT THEY SAY 

STEVE MAHAREY 

Massey University Vice-Chancellor 

“Most students are in the situation 

where the costs related 

to their courses are relatively 

high, so the entire amount 

of money would go on their 

course-related costs, as appropriate.” 

He says that though some costs over the past 

20 years increased, others decreased, while 

student bookstores now carry fewer books 

because students will find information online, 

although they do have to pay for that new 

technology.” 

“But overall, I think students today would say 

that they face more costs associated with their 

study than they would have 20 or 30 years 

ago.” 

…students would “welcome an opportunity to 

have the Government look at that level, given 

the kinds of costs that now occur … whether 

the Government would respond is up to the 

government.” 

PETE HODKINSON 

NZUSA President 

“There needs to be a more 

sustainable way of moving 

forward to deal with the 

courses where there isn’t 

enough money than just 

throwing a larger courserelated 

cost allowance at 

everyone.” 

“By and large, all tertiary students are absolutely 

responsible with course-related costs 

– they kind of have to be with how costly the 

process of studying can be. I do think, though, 

that sometimes books and course materials 

seem to be irresponsibly highly priced.” 

“I know plumbing students, construction 

students, design students, and carpentry 

students, among others, who on top of book 

prices have to spend huge amounts on compulsorily 

purchasing their own tools and other 

gear in order to be able to succeed, or rather 

participate at all … which will often go well 

above $1000. The real challenge is matching 

need with resource.” 

HOLLY WALKER 

Green Party’s spokesperson for Youth and 

Students 

“Clearly, the cost of things, 

especially computer equipment, 

which is something that 

probably plenty of people like 

to use their course-related 

costs for, has increased exponentially. 

As well, the general 

cost of living and inflation has 

risen hugely in that time. So I 

think it should be linked to the consumer price 

index over time.” 

“I think design would be one. I imagine that 

medicine and other high-level courses would 

be others. Whereas if you’re studying English 

literature your costs primarily will be books, 

which is important but it isn’t going to add up 

to the same amount. 

“There should be a case where, if you can 

demonstrate requirement from your course to 

purchase particular items, you should be able 

to claim them as course-related costs.” 

“Tertiary education is critically important for 

New Zealand and for your economy going 

forward. It’s a huge public good, actually, 

because it enables people to up-skill and often 

re-train if they are second-chance learners, 

and it increases their capacity to contribute to 

the economy”. 

STEVEN JOYCE 

Tertiary Education Minister 

“Some students will find it 

less than what they need, 

some will find it more than 

what they need. We don’t 

necessarily take the view 

that students should be 

borrowing for every aspect 

of their time at uni anyway, 

because saving up and making a bit of a contribution 

is a good idea as well.” 

“I think, again, it’s about encouraging people 

to be responsible. Even though we don’t have 

interest on student loans now it can take people 

quite a while to pay them off.” 

“Student support costs are very, very high 

compared to places around the world, so it’s 

not on the agenda at this point.” 

“We are always looking for ways to improve 

the student loans system. We have accepted 

the interest-free part of it. It is an expensive 

part of our system and the reality is there isn’t 

any more money to spend on tertiary education. 

There’s a risk that if we don’t tighten up 

on the student loan scheme there will be less 

money to put into tuition fees.” 

they spent the money. Despite this, and after 

a great deal of asking around, MASSIVE 

could find no one who has ever had to justify 

their spending. Is that an empty threat I 

hear, StudyLink? 

We contacted them and asked how many 

students in 2010 and 2011 they audited regarding 

course-related costs. 

Their media consultant said they did not 

keep those kind of records, though the response 

implied that they did, indeed, audit 

some students. 

Massey University Vice-Chancellor Steve 

Maharey believes students are fairly responsible 

with how they use their courserelated 

funds. 

“Most students are in the situation where 

the costs related to their courses are relatively 

high, so the entire amount of money 

would go on their course-related costs, as 

appropriate.” 

He says that though some costs over the 

past 20 years increased, others decreased, 

while student bookstores now carry fewer 

books because students will find information 

online, although they do have to pay 

for that new technology. 

“But overall, I think students today would 

say that they face more costs associated 

with their study than they would have 20 or 

30 years ago.” 

What about the level of course-related 

loans having not increased in 20 years? 

Maharey says he believes students would 

“welcome an opportunity to have the government 

look at that level, given the kinds 

of costs that now occur … whether the government 

would respond is up to the government.” 

The President of the New Zealand Union 

of Students’ Associations, Pete Hodkinson, 

says he’s not sure if the answer to the issue 

is necessarily increasing loans for everyone. 

“There needs to be a more sustainable 

way of moving forward to deal with the 

courses where there isn’t enough money 

than just throwing a larger course-related 

cost allowance at everyone.” 

Hodkinson says that from what he sees 

“by and large, all tertiary students are absolutely 

responsible with course-related costs 

– they kind of have to be with how costly 

the process of studying can be. I do think, 

though, that sometimes books and course 

materials seem to be irresponsibly highly 

priced.” 

He says the issue is the fact that some 


09

FEATURE 

TOTAL AND AVERAGE AMOUNTS BORROWED 1992-2010 

1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 

Total amount 

borrowed $ (millions) 

160 272 342 398 444 577 654 566 782 915 940 995 983 989 1,107 1,180 1,241 1,389 1,551 

Average amount 

borrowed ($) 

3,628 3,979 4,309 4,432 4,649 5,494 5,714 4,917 6,105 6,179 6,248 6,365 6,258 6,408 6,610 6,792 6,953 6,991 7,298 

students don’t need the full $1000, while 

some need more. 

“I know plumbing students, construction 

students, design students, and carpentry 

students, among others, who on top of book 

prices have to spend huge amounts on compulsorily 

purchasing their own tools and 

other gear in order to be able to succeed, or 

rather participate at all … which will often 

go well above $1000. The real challenge is 

matching need with resource.” 

+++ 

So we took it to Parliament. 

The Green Party’s spokesperson for 

Youth and Students, Holly Walker, says it’s 

“ridiculous” that course-related allowances 

are the same as they were 20 years ago. 

“Clearly, the cost of things, especially 

computer equipment, which is something 

that probably plenty of people like to use 

their course-related costs for, has increased 

exponentially. As well, the general cost of 

living and inflation has risen hugely in that 

time. So I think it should be linked to the 

consumer price index over time.” 

Students who go to the grocery store with 

their parents over the holidays know that 

the cost of living today is not the same as it 

was 20 years ago. Heck, the cost of cheese 

probably is not the same as it was 20 minutes 

ago. 

According to the online New Zealand 

inflation calculator, a basket of goods and 

services that cost $1 in 1992 – which is 

when the course-related costs scheme was 

introduced – would now cost the equivalent 

of $1.56. In almost 20 years that is an increase 

56%. That includes the cost of books, 

pens, paper, material, paints, thread, printing 

and computers. 

‘Despite being a conscientious student, Emma says the whole lot 

in second year went towards an iPod touch and part of her bond. 

When asked about this year, she shrugs: “I have absolutely nothing 

to show for it’ 

Perhaps as a result, according to the Ministry 

of Education, the amount of money 

that has been loaned to students for courserelated 

costs has increased considerably 

over the past three years. From $100.4 million 

in 2008 to $143.3 million in 2010 the 

figures show what appears to be students 

increased dependency on course-related 

money. 

Ms Walker acknowledges that some 

courses have greater costs attached to them 

than others. “I think design would be one. I 

imagine that medicine and other high-level 

courses would be others. Whereas if you’re 

studying English literature your costs primarily 

will be books, which is important but 

it isn’t going to add up to the same amount. 

“There should be a case where, if you can 

demonstrate requirement from your course 

to purchase particular items, you should be 

able to claim them as course-related costs.” 

In regard to concerns that students spend 

their loans irresponsibly, she says she is 

“fairly certain” most would not fit this category. 

For those who do “ultimately I guess, 

being ruthless about it, students who are 

borrowing and not spending the money for 

what it’s intended … they’re the ones who 

are going to have to pay it back, so it’s kind 

of self-defeating in many ways.” 

She says that in a broad context “tertiary 

education is critically important for New 

Zealand and for your economy going forward. 

It’s a huge public good, actually, because 

it enables people to up-skill and often 

re-train if they are second-chance learners, 

and it increases their capacity to contribute 

to the economy”. She would like to see as 

few deterrents as possible for people to take 

up tertiary education. 

Tertiary Education Minister Steven Joyce 

says course-related loans should make a 

contribution only to the costs of university. 

He acknowledges that “some students 

will find it less than what they need, some 

will find it more than what they need. We 

‘Rhianna Field says $1000 doesn’t come close to covering 

resources she needs. A computer and software are necessities but 

are in no way covered. She needs to use good quality products for 

presenting her work because “you actually get marked better if you 

present it better …’ 

don’t necessarily take the view that students 

should be borrowing for every aspect 

of their time at uni anyway, because saving 

up and making a bit of a contribution is a 

good idea as well.” 

Joyce says that how responsible students 

10

2000 

2001 

2002 

2003 

2004 

2005 

2006 

2007 

2008 

2009 

2010 

COURSE RELATED COSTS BORROWING: TOTALS AND AVERAGES BY GENDER 

are with course-related loans is generally a 

mixed bag. 

“I think, again, it’s about encouraging 

people to be responsible. Even though we 

don’t have interest on student loans now it 

can take people quite a while to pay them 

off.” 

He says the reason the level of the courserelated 

loan hasn’t risen since 1992, despite 

the rise in the cost of living, is because they 

are supposed to be only a contribution to 

the costs of courses, not the whole solution. 

From the Governments point of view “it’s 

Number of borrowers 

who borrowed courserelated 

costs) 

Average course- related 

costs borrowed $ 

Total course-related 

costs borrowed $ 

(millions) 

not something that we would want to expend, 

because the Government and taxpayers 

are writing off something like 40 cents 

in every dollar that’s borrowed, so it’s not 

on the agenda at this point to increase it. 

“Student support costs are very, very high 

compared to places around the world, so it’s 

not on the agenda at this point.” 

He says he’s working on getting more 

clarity from universities in regards to the 

cost commitments for students to the prospective 

incomes at the end of their degree. 

With regards to any future possible 

changes to the course-related costs aspect 

of the student loan, Joyce says he knows of 

none. 

“We are always looking for ways to improve 

the student loans system. We have 

accepted the interest-free part of it. It is an 

expensive part of our system and the reality 

is there isn’t any more money to spend on 

tertiary education. There’s a risk that if we 

don’t tighten up on the student loan scheme 

there will be less money to put into tuition 

fees.” 

+++ 

So, is it a case of some students relying 

less on the student loan and more on 

their own income? And does that mean it’s 

okay for others to waste away their courserelated 

loans on new shoes or crate day? 

Everyone interviewed for this story 

agrees that the student loan scheme enables 

students to have greater access to tertiary 

education. It cannot be taken for granted 

that New Zealand students have significantly 

more help from the government than 

in some other countries but, like anything, 

there is always room for improvement. 

The responsibility to fund their education 

essentially sits on the shoulders of students. 

The students we interviewed know this, 

with many choosing to take on part-time 

jobs to make ends meet. But the student 

loan, and especially the course-related aspect, 

could be improved to suit the diverse 

studying needs of students. 

This journalism student would argue that 

the current one-size-fits-all approach is doing 

no-one any favours. 

I heard a story the other day about a 

third-year student who flew to Brisbane 

early one morning, partied all day, and then 

comered-out on the flight home that night 

… all thanks to course-related costs. I also 

have friends who desperately need the latest 

computer programme for their design 

course, but their savings and course-related 

money are long gone. 

Every single cent students are paid is a 

taxpayer cent. In the current economic climate, 

the Government should be looking at 

not only doing things cheaper, but smarter. 

I may be only one student, but throwing 

$1000 at every student, regardless of need 

and circumstance … that to me is just not 

smart. 

What do you think about course related costs? 

Should they be increased to a higher level or 

should they stay the same? 

Massive Magazine will be conducting a follow up 

article in the future and comments will form part 

of that article. 

Send letters to: 

letters@massivemagazine.org.nz 

www.massivemagazine.org.nz 11

FEATURE 

Public concern about homelessness spiked with the death of Wellington’s Ben Hana (aka 

Blanket Man). Unhappy with the press coverage and public reaction to the issue, Elizabeth 

Beattie investigated further, and considered what life is like for NZ’s poorest citizens. 

WITHOUT A SAFETY BLANKET 

Walking around some places 

in Wellington you are confronted 

with the sight of 

homelessness. That was a 

striking thing I noticed when I moved here. 

I wrote to friends about it and talked to 

family about my concerns. It was an issue 

that I, like most people, put to the back of 

my mind. But with the media interest in this 

issue, I wanted to investigate this problem 

personally and consider those who have experienced 

homelessness. 

The Night Shelter is just down the street 

from my flat. It’s run by Mike Leon and offers 

emergency service by focusing on giving 

everyone who needs it a place to sleep 

for the night and a shower in the morning. 

Mike has worked there for about 17 years 

and paints a rather grim tale: “When I 

first started, I’d be getting a call every few 

months from the police to go down to the 

mortuary and ID a dead body of someone 

who passed away. That’s become a lot 

less frequent now, there’s more services 

around.” 

Conversation with Mike is truly heartbreaking. 

He has seen a lot of things that 

would cause many people to give up, but 

he’s determined to break our misconceptions 

surrounding the homeless. “When 

12

you put on that label, that ‘they’re homeless’, 

you start to dehumanise the person. 

When you start labelling people, you start to 

detract from their humanity.” He says public 

perception has a strong image of homelessness 

fitting into a category or class of 

person, yet when he show me a list of stats 

it’s clear there is no stereotypical homeless 

person. “There are students here who are 

homeless and you wouldn’t necessarily recognise 

them,” 

+++ 

Looking at those stats you can almost 

imagine the story of the person they 

represent. Many people I know have had 

accommodation issues or been on benefits 

of one kind or another, and it makes me realise 

how little difference there is between 

these statistics and the people I care about. 

Income source: sickness benefit 

Previous housing: living rough 

Why did you leave accommodation: harassment 

Income source: Employment 

Previous housing: Boarding house 

Why did you leave: ns 

However, the difference with the people 

I know is that they haven’t had to turn to 

sleeping rough in order to cope with such 

things. They have been supported through 

bad accommodation situations by family 

members or friends. Someone who has 

ended up homeless is someone who doesn’t 

have that extra support network, and this is 

where our system fails in the harshest way. 

One of the fallacies surrounding homelessness 

is that it’s a choice, and that homeless 

people are fighting against the confines 

of an oppressive capitalist society and are 

living in a way that is rebellious and free. In 

fact, these are disenfranchised people who 

have been rejected from an uncaring society 

which has scant regard for people affected 

by ill circumstance. 

+++ 

Jack Kerouac’s On the Road made the 

concept of drifting from place to place 

and dabbling in various relationships and 

drugs as romantic, but in reality, Kerouac 

spent most of his life running from a dysfunctional 

upbringing and living a lifestyle 

which hurt those around him and ultimately 

cost him his life. 

Mike does not see Ben Hana’s lifestyle as 

‘I remember walking past Hana. He would be sitting on the 

pavement, people walking around him, ignoring him’ 

‘rebellious’, as some have described it. “His 

death was effectively a form of suicide over 

a number of years on the streets. He wasn’t 

looking after himself. He wasn’t accessing 

help that was available to him for a number 

of different reasons, and to some extent he 

bought into that whole legend about him 

being the Blanket Man as well. That became 

his identity, in a sense.” 

I remember walking past Hana. He would 

be sitting on the pavement, people walking 

around him, ignoring him, the occasional 

school child giggling or shouting something 

provoking. He was unnoticed as a person 

and regarded for the most part as an oddity, 

a spectacle, no longer thought of as a human 

being. In saying that, I’m as guilty as 

anyone – because I walked past him too. 

I think that’s why I wanted to ask Mike 

about what we can do, on a personal level, 

to make a difference. He chuckles that “cash 

donations are always nice”, but his real answer 

to those who wish to make a difference 

is to change our treatment of other people. 

He urges people to “just start thinking about 

their own place in life and how they impact 

on other people. There’s the broader issue 

of poverty – can your fellow students use 

your help in some way? You might have a 

friend who is couch surfing at the moment. 

Can you hang out with them, give them a 

meal? What can individuals do to help the 

Night Shelter? Just become better people.” 

Just before I leave, Mike challenges me: 

“If you found yourself homeless, as a woman, 

what would you do? There’s no women’s 

shelter.” This thought is so horrifying that 

I think I get stuck on the word “yeah” for 

about a minute. And I want to assure Mike 

– if he reads this – that I have been thinking 

about that … 

+++ 

admit that walking home afterwards was a 

I slow trip of tearful eyes and deep breaths. 

This is an issue that feels mountainous and 

overpowering. But simply treating people 

with kindness is something we can all apply 

to our lives. I’ve witnessed the difference 

that asking someone about their day, 

and meaning it, can have on someone who 

is feeling depressed. Those are things that 

make a difference, even though small. 

I think back to Mike’s response to my 

question: How do you manage to continue 

to have compassion for people and maintain 

a positive outlook? He offers the simple 

word “hope.” 

Treating people with kindness and hope? 

They seem like small artillery against such 

a big problem, but then I think over what 

Mike has achieved armed with just those 

two things. 

*For those interested, Sisters of 

Compassion take volunteers to work in 

their soup kitchen. The app is available 

via their website and they only require 

your help for about an hour on a monthly 

or weekly period. 


FEATURE 

The debate over hydraulic fracturing has moved on since MASSIVE’s ground-breaking investigation 

in March. Editor Matt Shand retraces the issues and reminds us not to lose perspective. 

IT’S NOT THE GAS – IT’S THE PEOPLE 

Amid the media hype, the protests, 

and the community meetings it’s 

easy to forget that the real story 

of hydraulic fracturing, or fracking, 

is not about shale gas. It’s about people. 

And families. It’s about health and safety. 

It’s just a drilling technique and people 

want to know that it’s safe. People like David 

Roberts – who have given up their lives 

and part of their sanity to fight for what they 

believe in. I watched David Roberts prepare 

for the community meeting held at Stratford 

in March to call for a moratorium on 

the practice from the local council. 

In my notebook I recorded his actions: 

“David Roberts sits still amongst the chaos 

ensuing around him. At the Stratford War 

Memorial Hall people are filing in, taking 

seats, swapping stories, and signing forms. 

Underneath this the organiser’s nerves are 

starting to run high. David’s included. He 

looks casual enough in blue jeans, work 

boots, and a red shirt, untucked, with sleeves 

rolled up to the elbows, almost like he was 

at the bar with the boys after a hard day’s 

work. But, with from the right perspective, 

you can see the subtle tide of nerves washing 

in. He keeps rubbing his forehead, or 

playing with his sleeves idly. Occasionally 

he would lock his fingers together and bow 

his head, taking in a moment away from 

fracking, and contaminated water and mining 

companies and documents and his fear 

for the community he lives in. There has 

been plenty of that over the last few days, 

and there will be plenty more after this 

meeting is done …” 

People like Michael Self – who acted as 

courier for our tour through the Taranaki 

pastures. Throwing us around country road 

bends in a green, automatic four-wheeldrive. 

When he collected us he apologised 

immediately for the state the vehicle was in, 

saying he had “picked it up cheap after being 

caught out in a flood”. The muffler was 

broken, making the vehicle roar righteously 

whenever the accelerator was pushed too 

far to the floor, which happened often on 

back-country roads. 

He looked like Santa clause would if he 

owned a farm or a plantation instead of a 

reindeer ranch. His white beard formed a 

dishevelled mane around his chin and this 

was matched by his wildly hair, his hands 

with dirt stains around the edges of the fingers, 

and he wore jandals despite the cattle 

fields he would be guiding us through later. 

He was born and raised in the region (except 

for study trips further afield), and there 

was not a monument, shed, or hillside that 

he could not match to an insightful piece 

of trivia. “You see those silos up there,” he 

yells, pointing to the horizon, “they paint 

them like the cheese and over there is the 

hill they do the cheese rolling competition. 

Boy, those people run down those hills flatout. 

One guy went crashing down and broke 

three ribs. Three! But he kept on going. The 

crowd loved it.” 

Then he spots a stretch of houses and the 

conversation turns back to its morbid, chilling 

cancer, and deformity toll. And he tells 

us about other people involved, people we 

never met, or can name, but real people, 

who live real lives on the emerald green 

fields under the watchful eye of Mt Taranaki 

and probably never cared about the words 

hydraulic fracturing before, but who have 

heard about nothing but since the story ran 

in MASSIVE last month. It also ran on 60 

Minutes and Campbell Live and Stuff and 

in the local papers and featured in parliamentary 

debates and question times. And 

now, the most recent development – the 

news that fracking will come under official 

independent scrutiny, with the Parliamentary 

Commissioner for the Environment, 

Jan Wright, launching an investigation, to 

be released before the end of the year. 

But what will this investigation mean for 

these people, and others like them? But 

not just them but also so the oil company 

and mining executives with employees to 

pay, employees with children to feed and 

families to support. What happens if Jan 

Wright’s investigation determines fracking 

is unsafe. What happens then? 

+++ 

14

Jan Wright was undoubtedly too busy to 

respond to questions from MASSIVE 

but the website spells out the power her office 

has in such cases. It draws from the Environment 

Act of 1986 (S.16) and the commissioner 

has wide discretion to exercise 

them. The main functions are to: review, 

investigate, report, and inquire into environmental 

issues and processes that affect 

the country. 

There is also a strong focus on encouraging 

preventative measure and remedial actions 

to protect the environment. 

Though the Parliamentary Commissioner 

for the Environment (PCE) has wide powers 

to “investigate and report on any matter 

where, in her opinion, the environment 

may be, or has been, adversely affected,” 

she does not have the authority to make 

binding rulings, nor can she reverse decisions 

made by public authorities. It will be 

up to the politicians and the voting public 

to determine how the issue progresses after 

the report is filed. 

The news that an investigation has been 

launched has, so far, been received well by 

both sides of the political spectrum. Green 

Party Energy Spokesperson and fracking 

cautionary Gareth Hughes greeted the news 

of an investigation as “excellent” but still 

wants a moratorium put in place while it is 

under way. 

“By the time the PCE’s report will be finished 

and released to the public, new fracking 

wells may have been consented in Gisborne, 

Taranaki, Hawke’s Bay and possibly 

Wairarapa.” 

On the flip-side, Energy and Resources 

Minister Phil Heatley said “the PCE’s inquiry 

will sort out fact from fiction and provide 

a framework for full consideration of 

all options involving fracking.” 

He said one of those fictions was the notion 

that the activity was unregulated and 

dangerous. “Fracking is a well-regulated 

activity in New Zealand carried out by experienced 

international specialists to a 

very high standard, unlike some instances 

overseas. I am fully confident in the ability 

of councils to manage its use well, just 

as they do for many other activities in their 

regions.” 

Last month, in Jamie Christian Desplaces’ 

revealing article on fracturing, it was 

suggested that regional councils are not 

fully up to speed with what is occurring 

within their regions. He cited differences 

between executive summaries of reports 

and the content of reports as being part of 

this confusion. 

+++ 

It was the difference between what was 

being told to her by the council and oil 

companies that prompted Sarah Roberts, 

a major source for the story, to dig deeper 

into the reports to 

“The oil and gas isn’t going anywhere and some councils have 

admitted they don’t have the expertise to deal with the consent 

process for these new wells. The Government should slow down 

and wait until the report is out before allowing this to happen.” 

– Gareth Hughes 

find these troubling sections. Some of 

these reports have been tabled by Gareth 

Hughes at Parliament, but no moratorium 

is in place. 

Hughes says: “The oil and gas isn’t going 

anywhere and some councils and councillors 

have already admitted they don’t have 

the expertise to appropriately deal with the 

consent process for these new wells. The 

Government should slow down and wait 

until the report is out before allowing this 

to happen.” 

During parliamentary question times, 

Hughes has questioned Heatley about implementing 

a nationwide moratorium until 

the PCE assures the public fracking is safe. 

Heatley replied with a simple “no.” 

Hughes suggests the Government has not 

taken public concerns seriously. “Instead 

they have tried everything they can do to 

pass the concerns of communities, farmers, 

and the public off as emotive, irrational or 

part of a conspiracy.” 

Heatley: “While I take people’s concerns 

seriously, there is no evidence of either environmental 

effects or the risk of inducing 

earthquakes to justify a ban.” 

When asked if there have been any reported 

health cases as a result of fracking, 

he responded simply with “none proven.” 

When asked if there had been any reported 

water contamination as a result of fracking 

he again responded “none proven.” 

But the problem with this is that there is 

proven water contamination from a reliable 

source – the Shell Todd Oil Services Annual 

Report 2009-2010 for the Maui and Kapuni 

Production Stations. This report states: 

“The groundwater results are attached to 

this report. These results indicate that, with 

the exception of KA-5/10, shallow groundwater 

below the well-sites is not fit for 

potable or stock water use. Furthermore, 

shallow groundwater below KA-8/12/15 

and KA-13 does not meet the criteria for irrigation. 

It is noted that no monitoring of 

groundwater has been conducted since December 

2008.” 

Perhaps politicians like Phil Heatley need 

to spend a bit more time with the people 

their policies will actually affect. Had they 

spent time with the Sarah Roberts, David 

Roberts, or even an afternoon in the beaten-up 

four-wheel-drive with Michael Self, 

they might have well seen it from another 

perspective – a human perspective instead 

of a fiscal one. 

During our short time in Taranaki, we did 

see Gareth Hughes mixing with the locals 

and listening to their stories, which perhaps 

explains why he is so passionate about 

the moratorium. He has heard and seen the 

concerns first-hand. 

He isn’t surprised by the stance the National-led 

Government has adopted on the 

fracking issue. 

“Unfortunately, this reaction isn’t surprising 

[because] fracking is a big part of 

the Government’s ‘drill it, mine it’ agenda 

for Aotearoa,” he says. “This Government is 

leading us down a path to runaway climate 

change and depleted resources, with relatively 

little reward for New Zealanders by 

way of profits and jobs. 

“While I take people’s concerns seriously, there is no evidence of 

either environmental effects or the risk of inducing earthquakes to 

justify a ban.” 

– Phil Heatley 

“I can’t speak to what the PCE will conclude 

or how the Government will respond, 

but I am working on a Member’s bill right 

now, to be introduced to the ballot soon, 

which would prohibit fracking. I am hoping 

that MPs across the board will get behind 

it.”Fracking is now in the hands of the politicians, 

and the people who elect them. 

MASSIVE will continue to follow the progress of the PCE 

investigation and Gareth Hughes’ Member’s bill. 


FEATURE 

Elisha Stephens tries out the latest trend in fitness and finds there’s more to it than meets the eye 

EXPLODING THE MYTHS OF POLE DANCING 

Pole dancing classes are catching 

on around the world as an interesting 

and fun way to get fit, lose 

weight, and improve flexibility. 

Celebrities such as Kate Hudson and 

Jenifer Love Hewitt, who revealed her passion 

for pole dancing in this month’s edition 

of Maxim magazine, have claimed that 

pole fitness is their ‘body secret’, turning it 

into a fitness trend. 

Now, pole fitness studios are popping up 

all over New Zealand, many with special 

deals for students, so it’s the perfect time to 

give it a try. 

So that is exactly what I decided to do. 

And two six-week courses later I don’t think 

I’m doing too badly. 

I feel healthier and happier because not 

only have I increased my amount of exercise 

each week but it is a workout I enjoy 

(it does help that one of my good friends is 

in the same class); I am inching ever closer 

to the splits (as a beginner by “ever closer” 

I don’t actually mean “I am close to doing 

the splits”, those of you who have ever attempted 

the splits will understand); and it 

has opened my eyes to a whole other world 

of performing arts. 

As pole fitness has become more popular 

it has become influenced by the original 

disciplines of instructors and performers 

– yoga, pilates, circus and burlesque – and 

this is evident in conditioning techniques 

and more complex ‘tricks’. 

At the moment, most of those who attend 

pole-dance classes are already involved in 

creative industries such as circus, gymnastics, 

and burlesque, or are fed up with their 

usual gym work out. However, more and 

more ‘ordinary’ people are also being drawn 

to the fitness benefits of pole fitness as more 

people are talking about it. 

16

So I thought I would bust (ha!) some 

myths about pole fitness classes, and encourage 

you all to give it a try! 

+++ 

Myth 1: I’m not strong enough to do any 

of the moves. 

Wrong! Though it does take a lot of 

practice and strength to look like the 

professionals you can see at competitions 

and on YouTube (try searching ‘advanced 

pole routine’ or specifically Vladimir Karachunov 

or Tiffany Hayden), most beginner 

classes are designed to teach you easier, but 

Myth 3: Pole fitness is only for women. 

Wrong! Although many studios offer 

classes only for women, that’s simply 

because pole fitness has not taken off as a 

craze for men. If you take my advice from 

earlier and searched YouTube for Vladimir 

Karachunov you would see that being that 

good at pole performance requires a lot of 

muscle control and upper body strength. It 

can also be competitive. In class, you generally 

have a friendly competition of who can 

master climbing fastest, and there are pole 

competitions for both men and women. 

+++ 

women only, but if you and a group of 

friends contacted your local studio I’m sure 

they would try and sort something out. 

Auckland: Auckland Aerial Arts Academy 

(www.polerevolutionz.weebly.com) offers 

classes throughout the week so you can go 

when it suits you. They also offer student 

specials: During April for $30 per week 

students can do as many pole, circus and 

conditioning classes as they like (classes 

are usually $25 each for casual or $100 for 

5 classes). 

(09) 5765538 

‘Celebrities such as Kate Hudson and Jenifer Love Hewitt 

have claimed that pole fitness is their ‘body secret’, turning it 

into a fitness trend.’ 

still cool-looking, moves which help tone 

abs and upper body. These moves help condition 

your body so when you’ve mastered 

the basics and want to learn more complicated 

tricks, your body will be more able to 

do them. Many classes also integrate yoga, 

pilates, and other techniques to help with 

flexibility, strength and conditioning. Pole 

fitness classes are usually small (5-15 people) 

so the instructor is able to adjust the 

lesson plan to the capabilities of students 

and give them one-on-one attention in every 

session. They also know you are a beginner, 

not an expert. 

+++ 

It is, as previously mentioned, a variable 

and fun workout, so if you don’t enjoy the 

gym, haven’t found a sport for you, or it is 

the off-season of the sport you do enjoy, it’s 

worth a try. You will improve your strength 

and flexibility and have some laughs during 

the class. 

If you’re looking for a change to your 

workout, or just want to have fun and learn 

a new skill, check out these studios, look 

on the x-pole website www.x-pole.co.nz 

at their studio directory or simply Google 

search your town + pole fitness. 

Unfortunately guys, most classes are 

Wellington: Poleclass (poleclass.co.nz, 

on Facebook, or email info@poleclass. 

co.nz). ‘Like’ on Facebook to receive a 10% 

discount on your first course. The next 

beginner course starts from April 18 on 

Wednesday nights. They also often offer 

taster classes and workshops so you can 

try before you commit, and courses in hula 

hoop (YouTube Venus Starr for examples) 

and burlesque. 

Poleclass.co.nz (04) 801 8148 

Palmerston North: Palmy Pole Fit (www. 

palmypolefit.co.nz) or Pole Fitness Palmerston 

North on Facebook for contact details. 

Valid student ID gets you 10% off the normal 

course cost. Next beginner course is on 

Thursday nights, starting April 26. To secure 

a spot you should contact Sharon asap. 

Palmy Pole Fit (06) 358 7528 

Myth 2: My gym-junkie friends will laugh 

at the idea. 

Wrong! They will be jealous! Or, if they 

really do their research about new fitness 

trends, they will be very interested in 

finding out what it’s like. Either way, they 

are going to end up joining you in class, 

making it even more fun. While they spend 

hours at the gym with sweaty strangers, 

you get to spend an hour or two a week in 

a small group environment where, after a 

week or two, you’ll know everyone there. 

And it’s less sweaty but none-the-less an 

excellent workout. As well as breaking in 

your new heels, you are combining cardio 

with improving overall body strength and 

flexibility ... It is essentially pilates on a sixpack 

of Red Bull! 

+++ 


FEATURE 

James Greenland looks at the phenomenon that is Invisible Children’s viral campaign and 

finds there are two sides to the story. 

THE HUNT FOR KONY – 

SETTING THE AGENDA ONLINE 

Nothing is more powerful than an 

idea whose time is now. Really? 

What about murderous kidnappers 

armed with machetes and machine-guns? 

Guerrilla soldiers and their captive child 

soldiers rampaging through unwary villages 

under cover of darkness to wreak a 

nightmarish-barbarism upon the innocence 

of youth itself … 

This is the choice that the phenomenally 

high-profile organisation Invisible Children 

wants you to make: Which is the more 

powerful? First, their viral idea, which has 

rapidly infected the global community and 

is hosted within cells of online empathetic 

collectives; or, secondly, a small bunch of 

armed rebel ideologues with weapons hiding 

somewhere in the dense jungle of Central 

Africa, who raid homes and prey on the 

defenceless, led by an evil bastard with a 

good Christian name – Joseph. 

+++ 

Unless you have been hermiting beneath 

a boulder, without wi-fi or 3G, you 

probably know Joesph Kony is a bad man. 

You probably know he kills and kidnaps 

children. You probably want him stopped. 

This is what Invisible Children wants to 

happen, too – this year. They want Kony 

captured and tried for war crimes by the 

International Criminal Court in 2012. And 

they want the people of the world to make 

it happen. All they ask is that you pay attention 

(and a few dollars a month). 

Invisible Children believes their virtual 

virus can overcome Joseph. Millions of you 

agree. The time is now, they say, and the 

idea can stop the bandits. They need you to 

help. But what do you know?! 

You know the idea. “Stop Kony”. 

Invisible Children exposed LRA leader 

Joseph Kony’s monstrosities to the Western 

world through their video production Kony 

2012, which was released early in March. It 

captures one’s attention immediately, and 

does not release it for 30 minutes. 

18

In the film, analytical details of Kony’s 

terrorism in Uganda are traded for stimulating 

graphics, and a manufactured contrast 

between good and evil – represented by 

the filmmaker’s young son reacting to tales 

of Kony’s malice. This stark contrast may 

simplify a complex political conundrum, 

but Kony 2012 definitely doesn’t sugar-coat 

depictions of the LRA’s atrocious rebellion. 

Viewers are left emotionally exhausted after 

30 minutes of wondering how such evil has 

been allowed to exist. 

With typical American hyperbole, documentary-maker 

Jason Russell gives viewers 

hope for a change. Something everyone can 

agree on – the prevention of murder, kidnap, 

rape, and all other vile atrocities regularly 

perpetrated by the Kony clan. 

It is a compelling documentary. And now 

his name is everywhere. He is in the news, 

on the internet, and all over the T-shirts of 

the trend-wariest hipsters. 

In the West, Kony has become infamous 

on a scale never before seen, going from a 

little-known-zero to an ultra-celebrity internet 

anti-hero almost overnight. Their 

movie has become one-of-if-not-the-most 

viral online videos in the history of the internet. 

Already with over 100 million views, 

it is gaining momentum. Invisible Children 

cared, now people everywhere care. And the 

reason is social media. 

Invisible Children targeted their phenomenal 

video campaign carefully. By encouraging 

some high-profile socialmedialites 

to promote Kony 2012 through their 

various digital profiles, they reached out to 

an audience of millions, who avidly follow 

the daily updates of many celebrities’ lives. 

Millions upon millions of internet users 

quickly became aware that something was 

happening. Some strange word was taking 

over their usually familiar homepages, cluttering 

their online experience with red and 

blue hues, an unfamiliar face, and murmurs 

of unpalatable human hideousness. Intrigued, 

people opened the link. Now, more 

than 100 million people “like” Kony 2012. 

Whether you like it or not, it has become 

unavoidable. 

The power of the internet and social media 

to set trends and influence opinion has 

proved truly astonishing in recent years 

(during the Arab Spring revolutions, for 

example). However, the age of instant global 

communication has not been entirely 

beneficial to Invisible Children’s campaign. 

Critiques of them began to circulate on the 

internet almost as soon as the movie was 

released. 

‘What cannot be debated is that Kony 2012 has become a 

phenomenon, unquestionably achieving its stated goal of raising 

awareness.’ 

Accusations have flown around the internet, 

from in blogs to mainstream news reports, 

claiming that Invisible Children have 

managed a financially questionable charity, 

produced misleading and West-centric 

• LRA = Lord’s Resistance Army, active 

since 1986 in northern Uganda, 

originally intended to protect the 

interests of Acholi people, eventually 

turned against own people, “purifying” 

them in attempt to create an Acholi 

theocracy; labelled terrorists after 

September 11; thought to be 200-700 

troops remaining. 

• Joseph Kony, LRA leader, indicted 

by International Criminal Court for 

war crimes in 2005. Believes he is a 

messenger of God. Dickhead. 

• Invisible Children, a non-profit 

organisation devoted to raising 

awareness about Kony and restoring 

peace/prosperity to villages 

affected by his tyranny. http://www. 

invisiblechildren.com/ 

anti-African propaganda, and deeply offended 

some Ugandans personally affected 

by Kony’s terror. Possibly most discrediting 

were reports of the film’s maker, Jason Russell, 

losing his mind, running around naked 

and masturbating in public. This was filmed 

and, ironically, went viral too. 

There seems to be a dark element to Invisible 

Children’s campaign. Certainly there 

are two sides to the story. 

Much criticism has been directed toward 

the hordes of young “slacktivists” who form 

the bulk-mass of support for Invisible Children’s 

campaign. They have been labelled 

as ill-informed, apathetic, bandwagon 

jumpers, who are more interested in keeping 

pace with the craze than they are concerned 

by the LRA’s torment of Central Africa. 

Because all they have done is watch a 

film – and told other people about it – they 

are chastised for having offered little-to-no 

practical support to the cause. 

I wonder if such critics ever heard 

Burke’s famous call-to-action: “The only 

thing necessary for the triumph of evil is 

for good men to do nothing”. Though next 

to it, spreading information online is not 

nothing. 

+++ 

What cannot be debated is that Kony 

2012 has become a phenomenon, 

unquestionably achieving its stated goal of 

raising awareness. I believe, along with Invisible 

Children, that spreading the knowledge 

of specific evil doings is a good and 

necessary thing for the prevention of evilat-large. 

A good person, concerned by the 

fate of other good people, is a good thing. 

Many good people concerned is great. 

Chris Park is vice-president of communications 

and marketing at United Nations 

Youth New Zealand, and does much 

of his work online, using various mediums 

of social media for the communication of 

his organisation’s message. UN Youth NZ 

seeks to equip young New Zealand citizens 

with the knowledge and understanding they 

need to co-operate effectively as global-citizens 

within our globalising world. 

Writing to me, Chris Park joked that 

though they have much experience disseminating 

information online, UN Youth 

NZ campaigners have yet to achieve a viral 

potency equivalent to Kony 2012. Like Invisible 

Children, he believes in the power of 

internet-based social media to positively in- 

‘Spreading the knowledge of specific evil doings is a good 

and necessary thing for the prevention of evil-at-large. A good 

person, concerned by the fate of other good people, is a good 

thing. Many good people concerned is great.’ 

fluence the hearts and minds of the young, 

connected generation. 

“If you are trying to generate hype and get 

buy-in from Gen Y, it only makes sense that 

you use social media campaigns,” he says. 

Despite Joseph Kony remaining an uncaptured 

international criminal, Park contends 

that, good or bad, Invisible Children 

has been successful. 


19

FEATURE 

“No matter what you think of their video 

campaign, it is indisputable that Invisible 

Children has achieved what it set out to 

do – the issue of child soldiers has been 

brought to the attention of the world, it has 

fundraised millions in donations, and Kony 

and his criminal acts have become common 

knowledge.” 

That is the point. For all its arguable failings, 

Invisible Children have alerted the 

world to a serious problem. Their video 

plumbed the depths of our emotions and 

sparked an unprecedentedly empathetic 

reaction from an incredibly diverse crosssection 

of humanity. 

From the start, their stated objective was 

simple: to get Kony arrested in 2012. To 

do this,. Invisible Children needed popular 

support. That required a popular film – a 

human story. 

“In a world where we are literally bombarded 

with so much information that our 

brains stop processing and start blocking 

it out, stories envelop the viewer and they 

experience the tale, relate to the characters, 

and they live through the storyline,” Park 

says. 

The ability to relate to those suffering 

from Kony’s crime was gifted to millions of 

otherwise blissfully ignorant internet users 

by Jason Russell’s documentary. And now, 

Kony is world famous. 

The ordinarily apathetic and indolent 

have proven themselves invaluable catalysts 

for social justice. They do not deserve 

criticism for evidencing their compassion. 

+++ 

Undoubtedly, it is government policies 

that will stop Kony, not merely online 

activism manifested by a ‘like’ or ‘share’ online. 

As democratic as the West claims to 

be, it is rarely the demos who decide the foreign 

policy of great powers. However, the 

online-community has resoundingly set the 

agenda. And now it looks like policy-makers 

are listening to the populous. 

The United States has already committed 

some of their troops and intelligence support 

in the effort to arrest Joseph Kony. 

On March 24, The Guardian reported that 

the African Union will form a 5,000-strong 

brigade, led by Uganda and supported by 

surrounding Central African countries, to 

hunt the LRA. The force’s leader, Francisco 

Madeira, has said: “We need to stop Kony.” 

Would he have spoken those words a month 

ago, before Invisible Children’s video went 

viral? Before the connected-community 

cared? 

It is powerful, this idea. Peoples’ ideas. 

From seemingly out of nowhere, Kony 

2012 became pandemic, and now challenges 

the power of the warlord and his soldiers. 

Our words and ideas are seriously threatening 

Kony’s weapons and violence. Can 

popular opinion triumph over universally 

unpopular warmongering? Is this idea 

more powerful than his army? 

Time will tell. 

20

Matt Shand finds some light from a darker time 

THE CLASS OF 95 

A 

jolt, like a cold shudder, throws 

me violently awake. The jolt was 

somewhat familiar, having experienced 

them often throughout 

my life, yet it always felt alien and unexpected 

like suddenly feeling the soft, deliberate 

padding of a tarantula slowly inching 

up your spine, or perhaps a snake slipping 

through the sheets over a fleshy thigh. It was 

something viscerally cold, steely even, but 

something that came from within myself. I 

flail at the sheets as they now grip tight to 

my beaded sweat. They only release their 

pincers after I give the duvet a solid kick. Finally 

I am free and can breathe again. The 

evening air yearns for the warmth of my 

body and saps it from me. My hairs stand 

on end, my eyes adjust to the darkness and 

I can see steam escaping above through the 

moonlit room. I shiver but remain uncovered 

to let the heat escape and assess the 

sensation. 

I hold my breath to take in the silence. 

Nothing stirs except my heartbeat thrumming 

quickly though my ears, a reminder 

that I am still alive. As the beat slows down 

I can hear the soft, rhythmic breathing of 

my girlfriend still sleeping beside me. She 

used to wake whenever this happened, confused 

at what could wake a grown man so 

often, and so violently, at night. But before 

long, confusion and curiosity turned to 

quirkiness, and the quirk suddenly became 

mundane and finally routine. Six years of 

sleeping side by side will do that to anyone. 

Six years, had it really been that long? I try 

to match her steady, rhythmic breathing to 

calm down. Calm down. Sleep. Sleep now! 

It’s fine. 

But it isn’t fine, it hadn’t really been fine 

for years. I will have to get up, walk around, 

drink some water, or something stiffer from 

the over-the-liquor-store-counter medicine 

to match the cocktail of fear, adrenaline, 

and confusion that I had already mixed up 

while sleeping. I’ll probably put some music 

on and try to calm down. Maybe that song? 

Yes, my mind could do with some structured 

distraction. And that song will be perfect 

right about now. 

+++ 

knew returning to Christchurch would be 

I a bad idea. 

It has been 15 years since I last stood on 

the grounds of my old Intermediate school. 

I had arranged to speak to the new principal 

and she had been only too happy to accommodate 

my request. She couldn’t have realised 

the nature of my visit, the questions I 

had been rehearsing to ask her. How would 

she react? Would she be offended, angry, 

remorseful, or just confused? Would she 

yell, scream and ask me to leave? 

I can see her now, sitting in her office 

waiting for the arrival of a stranger. Rising 

through the ranks of a low-decile intermediate 

would have hardened her, but the 


21

FEATURE 

oddness of my request would have made 

her somewhat nervous. Curiosity would 

quell that soon enough and she would wonder 

who would return to an intermediate 

school, especially her intermediate school. 

This question will rattle around in her 

head for a while, but she will put it out of 

her mind, taking refuge in the plaque that 

sits in the school foyer. The plaque commemorates 

the Rotary Club Honour Roll 

programme and, in black lettering on a 

gold faceplate, it reads: ‘Matthew William 

Shand’ – Class of 1995’. 

The awards existence is as confusing as 

their ceremonies. They were started as a 

means for the Rotary Club to get more local 

publicity. Each school in the region put 

up three students to be bored beyond despair 

by Rotary speakers. Then the students 

would be marched up, read their academic 

success aloud, thrust a certificate, pose for 

a picture, shake hands and that was a wrap. 

Maybe the principal thinks I want to talk 

about old times, or possibly make a donation. 

I feel ashamed of the surprise in store 

for her when I finally enter her office. She is 

probably sitting there looking at the clock 

wondering how long she would wait before 

deciding I was a no-show. To pass the time 

she will arrange her office work, catch up on 

some grading and then I would come in and 

demand answers to things that happened 

years ago. Things that occurred before she 

was even at the school. 

+++ 

did not have the courage yet. Or maybe I 

I didn’t think what I was doing was fair. I 

have rehearsed the conversation in my head 

a hundred times, but now that I am actually 

here I have retreated into my 12-year-old 

self, sulking in the same lunchtime hangout 

behind the swimming pool. I was trying to 

psyche myself up for the interview by cranking 

Let the Bodies hit the Floor through 

tinny iPod headphones. The song is a lyrical 

and instrumental abortion fuelled with 

undirected rage and angry guitar solos. It 

was made worse by the crackling, budget 

headphones. It was worse when I hit the repeat 

button. But it is a clichéd angry song, a 

song from my teenage years that seemed to 

fit the moment, so I listened anyway, again 

and again and again and again. 

I distracted myself by studying the familiarity 

of the school. It left me dumbstruck 

and the sight of the school brought out a 

misguided euphoria. The two earthquakes 

had caused only minor damage to the solid 

two-storey slabs that housed the students. 

The buildings were still arranged into a 

uniformed rectangle that flanked a paved 

common area in the middle. There were 

some cracks in the paving and the faded 

paint lines that marked out grids for handball, 

four-square or netball. The only thing 

noticeably different was the removal of the 

wooden monolith of an adventure playground. 

The playground was a monument 

erected to the gods of splinters and tetanus 

shots. It was financed by donations, provided 

by Rotary, and built over the course 

of four hot summer weeks. About 15 parents 

had spent most of summer turning pink 

from sun, sweat and beer while listening to 

cricket updates on the radio, stopping only 

to break out into some classic 70s rock karaoke 

sessions with a beer or two in hand. 

All accompanied by the grating sound of 

hammers, sawing and ‘synergy’. 

Now all that remained of the playground 

was a barren bark pit next to the basketball 

court. The far hoop had been bent 

down by an overpowering slam dunk and 

swung from the back board. This itself was 

exactly the same way it looked in my day. 

The hoop had been broken routinely by 

high school kids who could easily ‘Air Jordan’ 

the lower-than-regulation hoops and 

smash them to pieces. In a few weeks the 

hoop would be mended. Mended just to be 

broken again days later and on it went in its 

perpetual state of futile repair, just like the 

students. Another similarity was the sight 

of crumpled ‘Cody’s 8 Percent’ cans under 

the hoop – it used to be Canterbury Draft, 

but the High school kids were on to harder 

stuff these days. 

+++ 

It was the contrast of the school, in relation 

to the rest of the suburb, that had 

stumped me. As if the neighbourhood had 

taken a long overdue backhand for the state 

of the school all those years ago. On my return 

to Christchurch I had walked my old 

paper route to see the damage first hand. 

The paper run was my first real job. I had 

inherited it off my older brother who had 

begun work at the local supermarket. I had 

inherited it for $24 a week and because 

‘when I was your age I had three jobs’. The 

run would take me from my house about a 

kilometre, then a right and another kilometre 

and back past the intermediate before 

looping back to the start again. Including 

the side streets, the run was about three 

square kilometres. In the centre, was the 

Intermediate, the Highway 61 gang headquarters 

and three Black Power Houses. 

Highway 61’s property crossed over on to 

our lunchtime hangout. Sometimes junkies 

would blaze up by the pool watching 

us play. We played in shoes to avoid stray 

needles. The two Black Power Houses closest 

two to our home were tinny houses that 

were open all hours of the night, the other 

was a fenced fortress headquarters. They 

were at war with the Highway 61 skinheads 

and occasionally marched from their third 

‘Girls flirted with him because that’s what they thought girls were 

supposed to do, and boys hung out with him so the girls might 

flirt with them, too, because we thought that was what we were 

supposed to do.’ 

headquarters on Linwood Ave, a fenced fortress 

housing a mongrel army and look for 

rival gang members to fight. 

The fortress guard always demanded five 

copies of the paper, I always skipped a block 

of flats to make sure I could always give him 

his copies. Some days the police would turn 

me away from the house as armed officers 

would be battering down the doors and 

searching the grounds for drugs. They never 

kept large amounts on site. They paid their 

neighbour to hide the stash underneath the 

fourth paving stone on his lawn. Everyone 

knew it, even the lowly paper boy. No one 

told the police, but then they never asked. 

Had they voiced the problem, talked about 

it openly, someone might have helped and 

the problem would have been solved. Instead 

they just broke the door down, arrested 

someone and released them the next day 

for lack of evidence. In a few months, they 

would do it again. Just like the basketball 

hoop. Just like the class of 1995. 

The local dairy, had crumbled in on itself, 

the rubble had been caged in by meshed 

fencing to keep scavengers out. The Asian 

Takeaways / Fish & Chip Shop was still 

open, but the price of a scoop of chips had 

risen from 80c to $2.80. Also, the Street 

Fighter 2 arcade machine that I had sunk 

hundreds of 20c pieces into had been destroyed. 

The earthquake had also cost the 

Highway 61 headquarters its concrete perimeter 

wall forcing them out. The house 

behind lost its sinister nature with the increased 

visibility. It actually looked like a 

nice home, suitable for an elderly couple or 

even a new family. It was currently empty. 

The real estate agent was probably having 

trouble shifting an old gang headquarters. 

22 

PHOTOGRAPHS BY SARAH BURTON

One of the tinny houses appeared to have 

families living in it. A white station wagon 

sat in the driveway, the lawns were kept 

well clipped. 

+++ 

Back in the kitchen I am still rambling 

on to myself. Shattered thoughts flood 

through my head. Shards of memories. 

Snippets of my life. Some real, others twisted 

versions of reality, and other still pure 

fabrications that seemed real but never actually 

happened. At least I think they didn’t, 

but repression therapy is a double-edged 

sword, and separating fact from fiction 

becomes difficult. Chunks of fiction merge 

with fact like a virus, binding the two forever, 

and they said it would help. Thoughts 

never settle, they appear within the mind 

like a horde of status updates streaming 

through consciousness. The sweat had returned 

despite the cold air. It hadn’t been 

this way for years. One thought 10 years, 

and another said five. Another shudder and 

then what was it again? Seven years? I grab 

a handful of ice, slam it into a tumbler, chill 

some rum over it, drain it and pour another, 

this time with more ice. The iPod leaps 

off the charger and I grab the Sennheiser 

headphones and select my soundtrack, ‘old 

school’, and breathe deep. 

What a soundtrack it was. 

It is the same soundtrack we used to listen 

to behind the swimming pool in form 

2 at lunch, with the notable exception of 

one song, the song I later dubbed the unofficial 

anthem for the Intermediate. With 

a bit of athleticism the walls of the swimming 

pool could be scaled and Sonny’s tape 

deck, which he carried everywhere, could 

be plugged in. Sonny loved that tape deck; 

he had told us his brother had bought it for 

him because it had his name on it, ‘SONY’, 

so he couldn’t lose it. Sonny loved music. 

He was in the school band and would play 

a Samoan drum at performances. His tape 

deck sealed the deal and made him the most 

popular kid in school. Girls flirted with him 

because that’s what they thought girls were 

supposed to do, and boys hung out with 

him so the girls might flirt with them, too, 

because we thought that was what we were 

supposed to do. There was no other music 

on the school grounds. Discmans were too 

expensive to make it mainstream and antiskip 

protection had not yet been invented. 

Walkmans lasted only an hour before needing 

batteries, and it was still unusual to 

listen to music no one else could hear. But 

Sonny’s tape deck, sipping from the mains 

supply, would play all lunch time. We 

should have felt like kings. 

+++ 

The unofficial song for the Intermediate 

class of 1995, the song I am searching 

for now among the playlist, is neither 

a good song nor a popular song. The song 

‘People looked for things to blame – broken marriages, broken 

homes, and broken moral standards. Something was broken. 

Something needed to be fixed. These children need to be fixed!’ 

was so unpopular that most people in the 

class of 95 have never heard of it. There was 

plenty of other, more age-appropriate white 

noise to drown it out. Sonny’s radio was 

constantly churning out ‘today’s hit music’ 

which included: the Vengaboys, who were 

just hitting their straps, with S-Club 7 in 

hot purist or a space girl mix tape interlaced 

with some Livin -la-Vi-Da-Loca or Robbie 

Williams if the mood was right. 

The songs streaming from the radio may 

have been upbeat, but it was a facade. The 

DJ had turned up to the wrong party, but 

we were all too shy and confused to tell 

anyone. So on we danced to the misguided 

soundtrack. But it wasn’t a dance of merriment 

or rejoice, just a slow step while we 

waited for something better to play, for this 

was not a happy school despite the appearances. 

Somewhere, hidden underneath the 

thin veneer of childhood innocence, were 

other, more insidious emotions. Emotions 

that stirred up trouble for counsellors who 

never saw them coming. How could they? 

We were too young to feel this way ourselves, 

no one could have predicted the shift 

in behaviour. People looked for things to 

blame – broken marriages, broken homes, 

and broken moral standards. Something 

was broken. Something needed to be fixed. 

These children need to be fixed! So they 

brought in the counsellors, made trips to 

the counsellor’s office mandatory for most 

students, but more mandatory for ‘special’ 

students. 

+++ 

The inside of the counsellor’s office was 

sparse. There was a reclining sofa, with 

a writing desk close to it. The walls had a 

portrait of Einstein, a food pyramid poster 

and wall clock. The clock ticked one octave 

louder than the faint Mozart, Chopin or 


23

FEATURE 

Beethoven seeping into the room from the 

wooden veneered stereo. The final piece of 

furniture was the counsellor’s desk, a huge 

mahogany or oak construction that dwarfed 

the door into the room. I often wondered, 

during compulsory reflection time, if the office 

had been built around the desk. What 

sat on top of the desk changed with each 

new counsellor, and it changed often, but 

the posters, furniture and even the phrasing 

used by the counsellors never did. They 

had all been given the same ‘sheet-music’ 

to solve the problem but had never heard 

the music aloud. All they had were old techniques 

that they tried to form into a ‘bandaid’ 

to troubled youth. But it was like trying 

to convince a severed arm to heal. 

Diversions were the main attack strategy. 

The plan was to convince the students these 

feelings didn’t exist, that way we could all 

get on with life. Lyrics such as “You don’t 

talk about what happened, you shouldn’t 

feel that way, don’t be dramatic, you’re too 

young to think that, that didn’t happen, get 

over it,” were heard often within the counsellor’s 

office. Get over it! What a terrible 

attitude to take. After being convinced you 

were fine, you were sent on your way with 

a note to collect another student. Their job 

was done for now. 

The counsellors were well intentioned, 

but ineffective. But then the subject itself is 

tricky. It makes people feel uncomfortable, 

squeamish, and angry. The problem was 

compounded by the fact that if someone 

wanted to talk they could never define what 

the problem was. I liken it a radio scanning 

through stations but unable to focus on one. 

It shifts, changes, and morphs, obscuring 

the music behind it through static. One day 

it’s anger, the next, sorrow. The day after 

it’s confusion, annoyance, aggravation, or a 

sense of nihilism. 

Even trying to define this emotional trip 

with my adult mind, the words escape me, 

let alone my 12-year-old self. I feel that it 

isn’t an emotion at all, but the body compensating 

for a lack of something and trying 

to fill the void with a random emotion 

(a sound plan). I tried to fill it with something, 

anything for some normalcy. I tried 

studying, I tried wrecking friend and foe 

alike in bull rush, I began acting as the lead 

in the school production, and even joined 

the boys gawking at Alasdair’s pornography 

stash behind the bike sheds, (we didn’t 

understand what we were seeing, we knew 

we were supposed to like tits, but not why. 

It was enough to know that we were breaking 

the rules). Nothing worked. One day I 

was too angry, the next too sad, then too 

happy, then too confused, then too bored, 

then back to anger and then confusion 

turns up again. A wild roller coaster of ups 

and downs. It was enough to make me sick, 

to make me scream at the ride attendant to 

stop the ride, stop it, I want off! 

‘She took a blade to herself while in the camp kitchen peeling potatoes 

for dinner. Dinner was cancelled, as was camp, and she joined 

the other ‘troubled’ children at Sunnyside.’ 

And that’s exactly what 28.7 teenagers 

per 10,000 officially did. In 1995, New Zealand 

led the world with the highest rate of 

youth suicides per capita. A disgraceful label 

for an ‘egalitarian paradise’ that prides 

itself on openness and freedom of speech. 

The nation also shared the counsellors’ attitude 

towards ‘the S-word’ and tried to 

cover up the embarrassing figures. Unofficially, 

hundreds more ‘bailed’ in secret. 

They were labelled as accidents to cover up 

the records. 

The road toll in 1995 was just over 600, 

the highest on record. Many of these were 

caused by head-on collisions between car 

and truck. Many of the truck drivers protested 

there was “no accident, the vehicle 

came straight at them”, but they were labelled 

as such anyway. Suicide-by-truck is 

the industry term, but officially it doesn’t 

exist, just ‘traffic collision’. 

The figures also don’t include the thousands 

more who were caught in the act and 

smuggled away to mental hospitals. The 

Intermediate had several believed suicides, 

and dozens more attempts of varying ‘seriousness’. 

All attempts ended the same way. 

The students cemented themselves outside 

of the local counsellors’ help and landed 

them into Sunnyside Hospital. Veronica 

was one them. 

+++ 

For Veronica, being dumped by Sonny on 

day 3 of the camp was too much for her, 

at least that’s what we thought. We had no 

idea about her parents’ breakup, the CYPS 

callouts to her house, her father out of work 

sitting at the pub all hours of the day or 

scoring at the tinny houses. We had no idea 

that her mother would invite women over 

and have sex with them on the front lawn. 

Veronica took a blade to herself while in the 

camp kitchen peeling potatoes for dinner. 

Dinner was cancelled, as was camp, and she 

joined the other ‘troubled’ children at Sunnyside. 

Sonny wasn’t the same after that. 

He left school, taking his stereo with him. 

Now silence sat over the playground. 

+++ 

Once you went into Sunnyside, you 

could never leave it behind. We called 

the dentist, the ‘murder house’ and Sunnyside 

the ‘loony bin’. Actually, the parents 

called it that, mine included, and we mimicked 

them. Our parents warned us not to 

speak to the kids who came back from there. 

The ones we did speak to were not the same. 

Something was changed about them. They 

appeared robotic, on autopilot for most of 

the day. It was as if their volume was stuck 

on medium, it could never be cranked up 

or toned down, like the counsellor’s radio. 

Just kept an inch below the passing of time. 

Manageable. In control. 

It was too much for some kids to take. 

Veronica, just 13, spent most of her school 

life leap-frogging in and out of that place. 

She would come back to school, a few kids 

would talk to her, some would invite her to 

play games but she rarely smiled anymore, 

or got angry. Even when people would tease 

her, she just looked on blankly. She took her 

medication at 2pm each day. The teacher 

would make a ceremony of it. He would 

tell her to come up to the front exactly at 

2pm, maths time, and swallow her pills. She 

called them happy pills, which made sense – 

the label was covered by a neon smiley face 

sticker. She didn’t know what they did but 

sometimes we would steal them on a dare 

and swallow them. A pill seemed a logical 

way to be happy. They didn’t do anything 

to us, but we pretended they did and would 

smile at everyone and laugh insanely, revelling 

in the Placebo effect. 

+++ 

But whether we were carted off to Sunnyside 

or made it through outside of 

its walls, we were all walking wounded. The 

thousands that made it through the ride 

but could never forget the experience. Still 

stuck with mixed feelings, trying to fill the 

void with family, work, drugs, alcohol, anything. 

Were others awake now? Listening to 

long-forgotten music in the dark, their head 

spinning with ideas. Maybe there are hundreds 

still suffering in silence but carrying 

on regardless, still ignoring the subject like 

the counsellors before them. But recently 

24 


attitudes towards suicide have changed and 

discourse on the subject can be permitted 

by the coroner, a massive no-no until recently. 

It seems this is the perfect time to 

look into this doomed generation, my generation, 

to hopefully gain a glimpse of the 

class of 1995 and tackle it with the hindsight 

of an adult. Even if it just helps one person, 

the time would be worth it. 

There is no one reason. It could be anything 

really. The climbing divorce rate. The 

slumping economy. The new government. 

Fluoride in the water. Or hidden messages 

embedded into music. Any of these reasons 

would be a useful scapegoat, a place 

to point an accusing finger to and waggle 

it with smug faces. But in reality it came 

down to bad timing. We are a generation 

stuck in the path of a hurtling train. We 

never had a chance. Just in the wrong place 

at the wrong time. Blindsided but carrying 

on oblivious. We were thrust into the role 

of the middle child of the generation family, 

with no purpose or place. There were no 

Nazi’s to fight. No commies to kill. No ‘zipper 

heads’ to bomb. No cause to fight for. 

We were too late to be a great, and too early 

to make a difference. Our parents had been 

thrust into being by the last recognised war 

heroes who had ‘fought the good fight’, and 

crushed humanity’s greatest villain in Europe 

and the Pacific. Our parents had hit 

the ground running. They picked up their 

legacy and made songs of their own. They 

had their own war songs. Fortunate Son, 

All along the Watchtower, and Sympathy 

for the Devil would blare from helicopter 

gunships across the lush bush of Vietnam 

as democracy was shelled into the NVA 

army. Later, they changed their songs, such 

was their right given their great pedigree. 

Now it was Quiet Riot, Queen, John Lennon, 

and the Sex Pistols. This time it blared 

from ghetto blasters or was sung by mobs of 

striking wharfies or coal miners. Occasionally 

the songs spearheaded national movements. 

Movements where the entire generation 

raised fists and placards and clashed 

with police on the steps of Parliament. The 

clattering of batons raining blows into the 

crowd did nothing but add to the beat and 

create a glorious crescendo. They could do 

anything drunk on their invincibility. The 

drum beat of the 1981 Springbok Tour divided, 

then reunited, the nation under one 

banner. It was their own local war. Like all 

good wars fought against an abstract noun. 

Racism, we’re not going to take it, no we 

aren’t going to take it. 

Then a war that couldn’t be fought occurred. 

Black Monday sent the Western 

World into recession. New Zealand was 

heavily in debt and small businesses were 

unable to sustain growth. People were laid 

off, money was tight and families were unable 

to cope with the strain. Divorce rates 

skyrocketed as the labour force plummeted. 

Debts were called in and families were 

forced to do what they could to survive. 

Crime was on the rise. 

We bought a guard dog, new locks and 

bars for the windows. 

By the time 1995 rolled around the sound 

had died down completely. The wave our 

forefathers had ridden had crashed into 

the shoreline and was now receding. 1995 

had no cause, no reason to exist except to 

get jobs, make money, fuck then die like 

the good worker bees we were. The internet 

was too slow to open up the world and give 

us overseas causes to fight, and the TV was 

dedicated to ensuring us that things would 

get better. Beyond 2000 promised us flying 

cars, moon bases and even immortality, but 

none of it came to pass. Music was what we 

had. But what meaning could be gleaned 

from the Spice Girls, Vengaboys, and S-Club 

7? Pointless songs with no meaning. Nirvana 

had burnt out, drunk on its own ideology 

before he could make a difference, his only 

real contribution was showing Dave Grohl 

the ropes. Occasionally we would hear the 

music of our fathers and try to enjoy it, but 

it is without context. Like saying watching 

a winning match is the same as scoring the 

‘It seems this is the perfect time to look into this doomed generation, 

my generation, to hopefully gain a glimpse of the class of 1995 

and tackle it with the hindsight of an adult. Even if it just helps one 

person, the time would be worth it.’ 

winning goal. It would never be the same. 

But later on, we would – I would – have 

a song to fill the gap. Filters, Hey Man Nice 

Shot. Finally a song that was written for our 

generation. It was a song I hope survivors 

of the Intermediate would hear and decipher 

as I did. It could give them some hope, 

some reasoning to the dire and futile struggle 

going on within them ... and myself. 

+++ 


25

FEATURE 

It was song about life, the sudden ending 

of it. For many, it was a brazen attempt 

at a fledgling band trying to sneak their way 

into the charts in the early nineties, but for 

others, others that knew, others that had 

experienced, it was so much more. It was 

about Kurt Cobain’s big toe as he slammed 

the hammer back on the 12 gauge, it was 

Hunter S Thompson’s No More Sunday 

Night Football, it was the flames on the 

Buddhist Monks outside the White House, 

but it was also Jared stringing himself up, 

and Racheal lunging off the car park building; 

it was about anyone who had mixed 

up a shaker of painkillers and vodka or the 

friend of a friend who had taken a razor to 

themselves. 

It was a song that will still echo within 

my head, with its shattered memories, 

throughout my life. It would spark up as I 

stagger home drunk from another friend’s 

early funeral. It will resonate long enough 

to still be there as I kick holes in the walls, 

smash plates, and fall down drunk into a 

floor scattered with premixed bottles. It 

would fade away as I toasted the darkness 

with the closest liquid and chug away still 

prone on the floor. 

It was a song for those left behind, a 

knowing nod or tip of the cap for those who 

made their final sacrifice. It laid no blame, 

it laid no guilt, just recognition of the deed 

undertaken. If nothing else could be salvaged 

from the tragedy there was a glimmer 

of hope for those left behind to cling to. 

A decision was made, a decision was acted 

on. The suffering was over. Not much to 

cling to, but something none the less. 

It was a dark salute for the wasted generation, 

my generation. A reminder that 

those who left had made a choice, however 

tragic, and it should be respected. But 

it was also a song for those still suffering. 

Those of us who had made it through life at 

Intermediate but were still struggling with 

scattered emotions, unable to put them into 

thoughts and give context. Emotions that 

were suppressed by counsellors, ignored by 

the people employed to remove them. Emotions 

too fucked for anyone that age. Like 

the veterans of the Great War, told to never 

speak of it. Their only outlet were the songs 

they sang at the RSA’s. But we had no songs 

… I had no song. We suffered in silence, but 

were driven slowly mad but the perverseness 

of it all. 

+++ 

The light at the end of the tunnel turned 

out to be a runaway freight train heading 

the other direction. With nowhere 

to turn we questioned the world around 

us. We became Generation Why? Why 

should we work hard years to die in marginal 

middle class? Why should we toil the 

fields while mortgage brokers and insurance 

companies get rich off our dividends? 

Why should we attend school anyway, why 

can’t we travel, learn through experience, 

through work, through people. 

It was scary for counsellors, and scary for 

parents who heard it. Such thoughts were 

unthinkable, something must be wrong. 

It could have been our greatest cause, our 

Great War. A defiant charge against the face 

of society. Tear it down at the seams and 

build a new future, our future, one not sold 

to us by the past. Burn it all. 

But the signal to charge was never given. 

One by one the war banners fell and the will 

to fight, to rebel, faded away. Those who 

had the courage were rounded up and given 

happy pills or had taken the train ride to 

oblivion before motivating others to make a 

change. But we weren’t radical, we weren’t 

broken, we were just different. We wanted 

to make our own mark on the world, to have 

a purpose. But this new strange sound coming 

from the youth was twisted to the ears 

of the older generations. They had their 

‘The light at the end of the tunnel turned out to be a runaway 

freight train heading the other direction. With nowhere to turn we 

questioned the world around us. We became Generation Why?’ 

songs stuck in their head, the great bands 

were all dead and this angst nonsense was 

nothing but trouble. So the pills were made, 

and distributed and a entire generation was 

pacified and muted so life could go on the 

way it was. Just a blemish on the face of the 

Mona Lisa. No one talked about it. So no 

one noticed. 

But somewhere within the minds of the 

26 


class of 95, the beat goes on, muffled but 

still audible. We will fight on though muted. 

We refuse to marry young. We refuse to succeed 

academically in pointless, outdated, 

and uninteresting subjects. We refuse to accept 

the world as it is. We refuse to hold the 

same job for 40 years. We refuse to retire 

at 65. We refuse to sit still. We reject this 

world you expect us to take at face value. 

We will construct our own place in it, carve 

out our own slice of the planet to call our 

own. We spit in the face of your rules and 

of the day a school reflects the community 

around it, and the community is on the 

mend. The earthquake destroyed most of 

the decay. The gang houses had crumbled 

and, not being insured, were either set to be 

bulldozed or purchased by families looking 

for fresh starts. 

The students, some of them survivors of 

the class of 95, gathered together for the 

first time with a cause. A cause to fix the 

neighbourhood one shovel-load of silt at a 

time. They worked to the sound of the old 

‘By the time 1995 rolled around the sound had died down 

completely. The wave our forefathers had ridden had crashed into 

the shoreline and was now receding. 1995 had no cause, no reason 

to exist except to get jobs, make money, fuck then die like the good 

worker bees we were.’ 

we reject your hegemony. How dare you 

mute a generation for talking out of line. 

All we needed was someone to listen to 

us, listen to me. Not to hear the words, but 

to comprehend them. That was all that we, 

I, wanted. An ear to lend, a hand to hold, a 

shoulder to cry on. Perhaps some reinforcement 

that we were allowed to feel the way 

we did. Maybe that you did too. I read about 

a study of grandparents that found that 85% 

of grandparents died within six months of 

each other. No medical reason. No medical 

cause. The study concluded that once 

life is deemed to be over, biologically the 

body starts making preparations to leave 

the world gracefully. The study stated that 

purpose should be given to the elderly to 

ensure they live long lives. Maybe this study 

applied to the youth as well. Maybe without 

a cause we were stuck without an internal 

body clock and left at the mercy of a world 

we no longer cared for, or respected. 

+++ 

had returned to Christchurch, the place 

I where it had all gone wrong, to gain some 

insight into the subject. To put the questions 

to the principal and demand answers 

to the subject that swills around in my head 

and keeps me awake at night. This was, after 

all, where the ‘class of 95’ a class that included 

a once bright-eyed Matthew William 

Shand was counselled. 

I am now 15 minutes late for my appointment. 

She is probably angry that I wasted 

her time. I have decided not to go in. What 

could she tell me? Through no fault of her 

own, she is the product of an era long gone. 

A generation that stifled the music of the 

one preceding it. Pointing fingers would be 

petty at this point of the game. At the end 

songs, and new, giving them new meaning 

and context and all brought forth through 

tectonic plate movement. The city is working 

together to build a better future, and 

part of that future is listening to each other. 

That was all it needed, a bit of openness and 

some understanding. An articulated scoop 

truck could have done the work in minutes 

but it wouldn’t have given the same sense 

of purpose or hope that hundreds of people 

singing and working united in one purpose. 

That gave the city hope. Hope that people 

can fix the problem and hope that the 

people will ‘get through it’. Not ‘get over it’. 

This is the same attitude being adopted by 

the new breed of youth counsellors. Suicide 

is no longer looked at as a problem to ‘get 

over’, but something to be worked through. 

If everyone works together on this problem 

and stops hiding from it, or finding industrialised, 

outdated solutions to simple problems, 

we can all get through it. 

+++ 

finish the song and head back to bed. It is 

I cold now and I hope I am able to sleep the 

rest of the night. It had been a sleepless few 

weeks, and I was set to return to Christchurch 

again soon, to gain some final insights 

into the subject. 

+++ 

Today, counsellors have admitted the ineffectiveness 

of their ways. Youth workers, 

church leaders, and even Youthline 

volunteers are now taught to speak openly 

about the topic of suicide. Youth suicide 

rates, though still too high, have been dropping 

steadily over the past 10 years. Perhaps 

a result of the survivors of the class of 

95 becoming youth leaders, like Veronica. 

I had tracked her down on my second return 

trip to Christchurch. WAYN.com had 

proved ineffective but Facebook had found 

a match after several attempts. 

Veronica lives with her father again, who 

has managed to find work and is working 

on mending their shattered relationship. 

“His idea, not mine,” Veronica said. “It’s 

a good thing, and it’s working out well. 

He’s doing well.” She doesn’t mention her 

mother. Her arms and still bear the scars 

of her twisted childhood. Neat rows cut 

into perpendicular angles from each other 

that could be mistaken for a tattoo from 

far away. Despite the scaring, she wears a 

singlet and makes no attempt to cover her 

marks. They are part of who she is. She has 

found a new purpose giving back to the 

generation below her. Her past makes her 

future stronger, or maybe it makes other 

peoples future stronger. It enables her to 

connect to others. 

People can learn from her openness and 

frankness on the subject. The kids can relate 

to what she is saying as she shows 

visible proof of their shared pain. Suicide, 

after all, is a burden, a pain we all carry, 

and all share but it is invisible to most. We 

talked about the old school briefly, and 

avoided the topic of Sunnyside Hospital. It 

was a subject we both understood only too 

well, though her experience was worse than 

mine. We talked about the nights and waking 

for no reason. 

This happened to her, too, especially 

after she threw her medication away, as I 

had done seven years ago. It appeared that 

volunteering at Youthline had helped her 

start to manage the problem and she urged 

me to do the same back in Wellington, my 

experience was too valuable to not share. 

Maybe she understood my feelings better 

than I did. 

+++ 

The class of 95 may have yearned to 

change the world, and failed. But we 

can succeed at making sure the next generation 

struggling with the same uncertainty 

that we faced. But this time with openness, 

empathy, and understanding, instead of 

textbook denial and diversion. Maybe this 

is our great cause, or challenge to overcome. 

Maybe the class of 95 will make its 

mark after all. 

As I left I had a passing thought and 

asked her how she had coped throughout 

the years. “Music” was the simple answer. 

“I had a song that anchored me and it made 

me feel sane, for a moment.” 

She never said which one. 

And I never told her mine. 


FEATURE 

Trish Plunkett’s highly recommended entry into last year’s creative writing competition 

GIN AND AUGUST 

In the chaos that is my life there is a 

house that was our house. And there’s 

a dish on the counter where I dump 

all the crap from my wallet and sort 

through all the rubber bands and empty 

wrappers, loose change, and old receipts. 

Except today all the receipts seem to be 

about you, a whole fucking story in dollars 

and cents and pain that won’t go away and 

a love that won’t give up and die and an old 

broken heart. 

And suddenly I can’t read them for the 

tears, but in those tears I see you again. And 

I knew it would end up this way because you 

can’t buy love, although God knows I tried. 

I tried. 

+++ 

Marbeks - $227.49 

When you came to the house that was 

not yet our house you shut yourself in 

the spare room and I never saw you. That 

room, which would become your room, was 

sparse and naked and lonely as you. You 

brought your bags and your clothes and 

your bathroom stuff and kept them all in 

there, playing the same music over and over 

again on your laptop. 

So I went out to buy you DVD’s, movies 

and TV series’ and concerts. Disks and disks 

that piled up on the counter in front of the 

bewildered clerk – sci-fi and drama and 

comedy and anything I thought you might 

like because I didn’t know you anymore and 

all I wanted was to see you smile. 

And I didn’t even wince when I saw the 

total. I just slapped down my Visa card to 

sign your sadness away. 

I put them outside the door of your room 

and when you opened up and saw them I 

had already turned away. 

But then you called my name, and I saw 

the edges of your mouth twitch in the faint 

trace of a smile. And like the old fool I am I 

fell in love with you all over again. 

+++ 

New World - $332.15 

You came out of the room that was becoming 

your room and joined me at 

the breakfast table, stitches scabbing over 

and bruises yellowing. I could see your ribs 

through your t-shirt and all I wanted to do 

was feed you. But what I offered you didn’t 

want, so I settled for brewing the first of a 

thousand cups of tea, hoping to put a little 

warmth into your shivering shoulders. 

I made a shopping list, and when I said 

you would have to come with me you let out 

a long sigh, just to remind me that this was 

not your home, you were only here because 

you didn’t have anywhere else to go. 

You spoke a little during the trip, leaving 

me to think back to who you used to be, and 

what you used to like. And then I noticed 

things sneaking into the trolley, brightly 

coloured wrappers and expensive food and 

28

completely pointless items - dog food for 

the dog we no longer had. 

I hauled the lot to the checkout, dog food 

and all, and paid far more than my budget 

would allow. 

But when I cooked dinner that night you 

came out of your almost-room and ate with 

me, though your dark shadowed eyes would 

not quite meet mine, not yet. 

+++ 

McDonald’s - $17.50 

There were days which were better than 

others, where you smiled easily and we 

could chat and laugh about stupid things 

that had happened so long ago, before 

you knew I loved you and you went away. 

Where we could sit in the sun and you 

didn’t flinch from the light, trying to hide. 

And those were good days and I drank them 

in and spun them out, replaying them over 

and over to get through the bad times. 

Then there were the shadowy days, where 

we drank tea and you recounted in a flat 

voice all the things that happened since that 

day long ago when you left, and something 

inside me died a little because I did not save 

you. 

And then there were the black days, the 

days when history showed on your face, 

in the shadows in your eyes that even the 

sun could not touch. And on those days you 

did not talk at all, I simply told you stories, 

made castles in the air for you to live in. 

I gave you everything anyone could ever 

want, because I could not give you enough 

once upon a time. 

One black day, you bent forward to hide 

yourself from the blows which came over 

and over in memory, and nothing I did or 

said or offered would ease you. 

“Do you want to go to McDonald’s?” I 

blurted out, because it was the only thing I 

could think of saying. 

And you looked up at me and smiled that 

sad, hopeful smile like one of those bloody 

Disney animals in Snow White, and my 

heart shattered when all you said was “Can 

I have a Happy Meal?” 

+++ 

The Party Shop - $54.99 

In the weeks we spent together, the black 

days faded slowly, leaving only their traces 

in your eyes. We looked at pictures of the 

boys we once were and I could pinpoint just 

when I fell in love with you. 

And then you wanted to throw a party, 

and I said yes, and we bought enough supplies 

to have a dozen parties if you wanted 

them. 

You threw streamers everywhere, light 

fittings draped with pink and yellow crepe, 

‘I thought you had changed,’ you whispered, and for a moment I 

thought we might get away with just pretending I hadn’t messed it 

all up again. But what was in your eyes turned to hate. 

‘You sick fuck.’ And then you were gone.’ 

sending out shafts of coloured light. We had 

cans of silly string and party poppers, which 

you detonated in time to Destiny’s Child. I 

tried to make the cocktail shaker work, to 

remind myself that this was no kiddies’ 

birthday party. 

Then you decided to deck me in streamers, 

green to match the Midori which 

stained the side of your mouth. 

Old friends came bearing cocktail umbrellas 

and bottles of bright spirits, shaking 

them together while you played DJ, running 

tunes from your laptop that brought 

back memories of high school discos. 

You were only a child when they came 

out, and everyone laughed and called it 

retro. 

Then you smiled at me and with the click 

of a button I knew you were playing my 

song. 

The night lowered and the drinks flowed 

and I forgot all about the thousand small 

ways I had broken you before you left me 

that first time. All I knew was you had come 

back to me, all I knew was hope. 

So when you danced up to me in the garden 

and sprayed us both with purple silly 

string, I pressed close to you and cupped 

your cheek. And right then I should have 

seen it, or dreamed it, or remembered it – 

some bitter warning from the past. 

But instead I bent and kissed you, my little 

brother, your lips tasting of orange and 

vodka. 

And I saw what was in your eyes, that 

same look that drove you away six years 

ago. 

“I thought you had changed,” you whispered, 

and for a moment I thought we 

might get away with just pretending I 

hadn’t messed it all up again. 

But what was in your eyes turned to hate. 

“You sick fuck.” 

And then you were gone. 

+++ 

Air New Zealand - $2100.00 

You retreated into the room that was now 

yours, and snuck out at strange hours 

to eat, and refused to speak to me. You 

would only look at me when you thought I 

wouldn’t notice, and whatever it is you saw 

in me you didn’t like, because you told me 

you were leaving. 

So I paid for you to go to the other end of 

the Earth, to where you couldn’t come back 

even if you wanted to, even if I begged you. 

You packed up your life once again 

and on the drive to the airport you stared 

straight ahead and didn’t speak, a wall of 

history between us in the front seat. 

You turned to me at the departure gate 

and you shook my hand and said good-bye; 

and I crossed my fingers behind my back 

that it would not be the last time I ever 

touched you. I watched you as you walked 

through security, slow minutes where I 

hoped you would look back, just once. 

Look back. 

You didn’t. 

+++ 

Liquorland - $39.99 

bought the Bombay Sapphire even though 

I I’ve never liked gin, because the colour of 

the bottle reminded me of your eyes, the 

eyes of the boy who broke my heart again 

and again. 

And I hid in the spare room that was no 

longer yours and I drank to my pain, buried 

in the sheets that smelled of you, my August, 

my brother. 

The gin burned my insides, sparking the 

tears that flowed down my cheeks at how 

I had destroyed it all again, this hopeless 

man with the sick obsession. And with every 

gulp I wished you back, wished for one 

more last chance. 

And I tried to drink until the pain stopped 

and when it didn’t I fell asleep in that bed 

which smelled like you, where I would 

spend night after night until your smell faded 

and all that was left was the scent of gin 

and loneliness and me. 

In the house that is no longer our house 

there is a dish where I empty out the fragments 

of my life and I try to find some pattern, 

some code that tells me you’ll be back, 

but all I find are the hours I stole with you, 

and I wonder if I had a fortune to spend 

if you’d have stayed, but I don’t and you 

didn’t. So I scoop up the receipts with the 

old gum wrappers and bin them, trying to 

rid my heart of you, piece by piece. 


FEATURE 

Emilie Marschner and Olivia Marsden preview an upcoming play, Live @ Six which takes the 

audience behind the scenes to see how stories are constructed and presented. A must-see for 

any media student. 

THE MAGIC ON STAGE REVEALED 

Up-and-coming Wellington play 

Live @ Six puts a new spin on 

the glamorous world of broadcast 

journalism in a production 

that invites the audience behind the scenes 

and into the newsroom. Do you ever ask 

yourself how the news came to be on your 

TV screen? Cut and polished in all the right 

places. Here’s your chance to witness firsthand 

the less-than-glamorous news. 

First, have you ever wondered how a magician 

really works? Magic? That white rabbit 

simply appears in his top hat and we, the 

excitable audience, just accepts it. Something 

magicians and news editors have in 

common is the ability to create their own 

version of the truth. 

Live @ Six invites the audience to participate 

in the process of turning ‘the truth’ 

into ‘the news’. The play moves beyond 

merely entertaining to an insightful and 

thought-provoking black comedy that will 

make you think twice about believing what 

you are seeing. Actor Donogh Rees, who 

plays Karen Adams from TV One, describes 

the play as “a satire that exposes how the 

media manipulates ultimately what we see 

… the audience see where the cynicism lies, 

what is the truth, and ultimately what do 

you as an audience see?” 

The play is set in an authentic New Zealand 

broadcast newsroom, equipped with 

the appropriate news-spinning technology 

30

an audience would never see. Playwrights 

Leon Wadham and Dean Hewison performed 

extensive research to make sure it 

was believable. “The show starts before it 

starts,” says actor Nick Dunbar. The night 

begins with a pre-show party where the audience 

is encouraged to bring their smartphones 

and iPhones to capture live footage 

of a ‘scandal’ involving a celebrity news 

anchor misbehaving. The footage will be 

uploaded to social media sites such as Facebook 

and Twitter where editors working 

live on stage will adapt and manipulate the 

material to shape the news story in accordance 

with their news agency’s best interests. 

The play involves the unfolding of the 

news story as two competing news channels 

battle it out to gain the most viewers. They 

have 24 hours to package the story and 

inform the public. But this time the audience 

gets to see the preparatory stages leading 

up to the magic, everything before the 

bunny being pulled out of the hat will be revealed. 

Be prepared to get caught up in the 

adrenaline rush and buzz of the newsroom. 

“All the way through, different things are 

revealed so that it makes everyone scurry 

around and go ‘okay, how we are going to 

use it?’” says Rees. 

Live @ Six embodies the developing media 

landscape present in society today. Each 

show will have a different outcome based 

on the material obtained during the show 

and the editing choices made on stage. The 

audience will experience and engage with 

the news making process. “Things are popping 

up all the way through to alter events,” 

says Rees. 

Every staging of the play is unique. No 

one, not even the actors, will know which 

news station will come out on top. 

+++ 

Live @ Six was staged at Bats in 2009 but 

has since been improved with the help 

and funding of Downstage. As technology 

constantly changes and grows Live @ Six 

embraces the dynamic social media environment 

and has taken on the challenge of 

keeping up with the times. 

Leon Wadham says it couldn’t have been 

done without the help of Downstage. 

“Downstage [are] giving us the opportunity 

to make the show about now. I’m proud 

of that last season but it’s already so dated 

– technology moves so fast – and I think in 

partnership with Downstage we’re able to 

look at our current climate, at our current 

‘Have you ever wondered how a magician really works? That 

white rabbit simply appears and the audience just accepts it. 

Something magicians and news editors have in common is 

the ability to create their own version of the truth.’ 

technological landscape, and put it into really 

safe hands.” 

Massey University Lecturer Emma Willis, 

who has a background in theatre, says 

audience involvement and participation, 

particularly behind-the-scenes access, has 

been valued since the Shakespearean theatre. 

“It was much more of an interactive social 

event than sitting in a darkened auditorium. 

What has changed now are the 

technologies available both to theatre and 

to people generally in their everyday lives. 

In this sense, Live @ Six is really contemporary 

both in terms of its subject matter 

and the form that it’s using to deliver its 

content.” 

Live @ Six runs from April 13 until April 

28 at Downstage. Students receive a generous 

discount, with tickets a mere $25 for an 

experience that will have you “laughing out 

loud”, according to Downstage’s website 

(http://www.downstage.co.nz). 

The NZ Herald described it as “a black 

comedy with a thriller edge that will change 

the way you watch the news”. 

Donogh Rees is excited because it is a 

good satire that raises serious relevant issues. 

But really you should go for yourself and 

decide out of all these ‘truths’ which one 

you believe. Did you stop to consider the 

writing process involved in the making of 

this article? How do you really know that 

anything that has been said was ‘the truth’? 

You don’t. 

‘Live @ Six embodies the developing media landscape 

present in society today. Each show will have a different outcome 

based on the material obtained during the show and 

the editing choices made on stage.’ 

A magician never reveals his or her tricks 

– Live @ Six is the exception. So take the opportunity 

to quench that curiosity. Book now at 

http://www.downstage.co.nz 


FEATURE 

COCO SOLID AS PARALLEL DANCE ENSEMBLE 

Kiwi girl Coco Solid has proved her potential 

on the international stage while remaining a 

uniquely individual talent. She can rap, sing, 

and likes to challenge the preconceptions 

that often come with electronic music. 

Ahead of performing in Wellington under 

her Parallel Dance Ensemble banner, Coco 

kindly answered a few questions via email 

for Paul Berrington. 

Paul Berrington: How did Parallel Dance 

Ensemble form, given that you are from 

New Zealand, and Hannibal (Bobbi Soxx), 

your collaborator, is based in Denmark? 

Coco Solid: Robin and I met at the Red 

Bull Music Academy in 2008 which was 

held in Barcelona. Robin is a lecturer for the 

academy team. You are living and breathing 

music 24/7 and we found we had so many 

creative things in common. We recorded 

Turtle Pizza Cadillacs on the fly in one of 

the studios and had lots of fun. Six months 

later that track came out on vinyl in the UK 

alongside Weight Watchers and we were already 

working on our EP Possessions & Obsessions. 

That finally came out on Permanent 

Vacation Records (Germany) last year, 

so these last four years have been quite the 

ride. 

PB: How would you describe the Red Bull 

Music Academy and what can you recommend 

to local musicians looking to become 

involved? 

CS: The experience is game-changing. I 

think it tested and uplifted me and my work 

ethic. The academy gets musicians into an 

arena that is hard to describe – I have felt 

blessed ever since. Working with Robin was 

the tip of the iceberg. I met my idols plus I 

have collaboraters and friends for life. It’s a 

long-distance posse which means you miss 

your people a lot. 

PB: Collaboration seems to be a central 

part of your creative process. Are there reasons 

for this? And tell us a little about your 

different musical outlets. 

CS: It’s a quest, I think, to find those 

different complimentary harmonies and 

friendships out there in the world. For me 

it’s about potential, bringing out the creative, 

lesser-known qualities in myself and in 

other people. Collaboration is inspiring but 

it’s also a challenge. It’s powerful and intimate 

building something with other people. 

I need different projects because I have so 

many ideas and parts of me that conflict. 

Parallel Dance Ensemble is very electric, 

new-wave and slick, I think – that is very 

much the Europe influence on me. Badd 

Energy (Flying Nun) is a celebration of underground 

punk ideals and local counterculture. 

There is an outlook and world view 

that the other three members and I share 

and you hear it in the music. Coco Solid as 

a solo-project is an extroverted extension 

of me really, so I am always pushing her to 

evolve and experiment. As an alter-ego and 

project she never fails to elude and surprise 

me. 

PB: You’ve just shifted to Wellington, 

why when you seemingly have the world at 

32

You can catch Parallel Dance Ensemble live at the Becks 

event on Anzac Eve at San Francisco Bath House. 

your feet? 

CS: I realised a couple of years ago (when 

I lived in Korea) that my physical geography 

is pretty irrelevant. The internet completely 

frees me up to have a life alongside 

my musical ambitions. I can communicate 

and collaborate anywhere, plus I have never 

been too exposure-hungry. Music for me is 

about having fun. A fan base out of New 

Zealand is amazing and something I’ve always 

felt stunned about, but I no longer feel 

the pressure to be omnipresent or strategic 

about it. 

PB: You have several alter egos and have 

released via cassette-only releases. Explain 

why you choose these points of difference? 

CS: Artistic choices like these excite me. 

I’m a nerd! Everything I do is a creative 

opportunity. I want to do something that 

makes the world more interesting, for both 

myself and the people who dig my stuff. 

PB: What were your influences in terms 

of writing songs and becoming a professional 

musician? 

CS: Music was a happy accident. I got 

into it casually with a bunch of my friends 

about a decade ago. I knew I could rap and 

I had an intense love for music as a fan. 

It was always just a gut feeling I had. Not 

having someone out there who represented 

girls who looked, felt or thought like me was 

the motivator, I think. I ended up teaching 

myself how to make beats and rapping into 

a home stereo. It was humble beginnings 

but I loved it and people responded so I just 

kept on trying to improve. 

PB: Describe the sound of PDE? 

CS: It was always an emotional cocktail 

of what we enjoy – rap, electro, 80s Princesynths, 

but then stripping it back with leftfield 

and minimal elements too. Disco-notdisco 

seems to be the label we get a lot. 

PB: What can the audience expect from 

your live show? 

CS: I am repping PDE down-under, so 

it’s a mixture of my live set but with Robin’s 

grandiose production. It is more disco and 

high energy, I think. I love doing the set live 

because people really respond to it on the 

dance floor – and it’s fun. 

PB: Your records have been supported by 

the likes of James Murphy (DFA), Maurice 

Fulton, Horse Meat Disco, and Metro Area. 

How much has it helped to have such influential 

gatekeepers endorsing your music? 

CS: Having other artists validate our 

work is always awesome. Our German label 

works hard internationally so that helped 

our reputation mutate. I just try to enjoy all 

the genuine feedback and friendship that 

music brings. I don’t take that ‘cool co-sign’ 

mentality too seriously but I appreciate it. 

PB: You can write, rap, sing, and play 

keyboards. What aren’t you any good at? 

CS: HA! Being rich, even-tempered, hungry, 

or a nice normal Kiwi girl. 

PB: What does the future hold for you 

and PDE? 

CS: A few more tricks up our sleeve perhaps 

… we will have to see where the changing 

wind, mood, and wi-fi take us! 


33

FEATURE 

Miriam Richdale tracks the rise and rise of a brew called ParrotDog. 

FROM BATHTUB TO BEER BARONS 

How do you go from being a student 

living off the bare minimum, to 

establishing a new up-and-soonto 

be running brewery- situated 

in the heart of Wellington? You chuck some 

fermenters in the bathtub of your Aro St flat 

and just get started. 

Meet the boys from ParrotDog, the three 

frontmen who all go by the name of Matt 

and who are on their way to big and better 

things in terms of brewing craft beer. 

Matt Kristofski and Matt Warner first 

started fermenting and brewing small 

batches of craft beer in their Aro Valley flat, 

but little did they know it was the start of 

something big. With the addition of Matt 

Stevens at a later stage, brewing proved a 

solid hobby for the lads at ParrotDog. 

Due to their success at Beervana in 2011, 

with two out of four sessions won in the 

People’s Choice Award category, Parrot- 

Dog’s first commercial brew with their IPA 

‘BitterBitch’ had taken off. With a total sellout 

on the day, it’s clear they’re making a 

name for themselves in the world of craft 

beer. 

Brewing together for almost two years, 

the boys concocted mainly at their Aro 

Valley flat, with the large brews coming together 

at Mike’s Organic Brewery in New 

Plymouth. And because there was huge demand 

and not enough supply, it was time 

for ParrotDog to spread its wings. 

In terms of milestones, Beervana was 

seen as the launching platform for the guys, 

and with their win and demand for supply, 

adding their own brewery to the grist* was 

an obvious decision. With BitterBitch selling 

successfully, a few more brews could be 

added to the line-up. 

To date, the top three beers come in the 

form of: 

• ParrotDog BitterBitch 

(IPA, 6.3% alcohol by volume) 

• ParrotDog BloodHound 

(Red / Amber Ale, 6.7% abv) 

• ParrotDog FlaxenFeather 

(Blonde Ale, 5.5% abv) 

Craft beer has taken the capital by storm, 

with many places looking to brew their own. 

ParrotDog is one of the lucky ones fortunate 

enough to secure a permanent brewing spot 

on Vivian St. 

The name ParrotDog originally 

came from a flat parrot by the name of 

‘Schmee.’ Although this was a temporary 

name, with two of the Matts going by the 

nickname ‘Dog’ it was here to stay. With the 

name in the works there was only the need 

for a design to fit the name. They had their 

logo professionally designed by a friend in 

London. He was also called Matt. 

Turning brewing into a fulltime profession 

is next on the cards for the ParrotDog 

lads, with the idea to have a fully functioning 

brewery coming up in the next few 

months. In terms of craft beer, their aim is 

for keen consumers to be able to pop in to 

the site on Vivian St and sample some beer 

for themselves. 

The focus for ParrotDog in the coming 

months is to establish themselves further in 

the world of craft beer and get the brewery 

fully up and running. With that, the boys 

hope to make it to an array of beer festivals 

around New Zealand next year and possibly 

later in 2012 with Beervana. 

With Wellington said to be the biggest 

craft beer consuming region, ParrotDog’s 

advice to would-be brewers is to find that 

one recipe and refine it down to the last 

drop. 

The guys also hope to get an off-licence 

within the next six months so people can 

buy direct from the brewery. With the majority 

of the beer heading out to bars and 

supermarkets, the support behind Parrot- 

Dog has been a huge advantage. 

The boys say that with the help of social 

media, the word about craft beer, and 

more specifically ParrotDog itself, has 

been spread far further than the guys had 

thought possible. 

So if you’re looking for a cheeky brew 

or two, keep your eyes peeled for the next 

ParrotDog instalment – it’ll probably blow 

your socks off. 

* Brewers’ term for milled grains, or the 

combination of milled grains to be used in a 

particular brew. 

34


CROSSWORD 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 

15 16 17 

18 19 

21 22 23 24 25 26 27 

28 29 30 31 

32 33 34 35 36 37 

38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 

20 

46 47 48 49 50 51 52 

53 54 55 56 57 58 

59 60 

61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 

70 71 72 73 74 75 76 

77 78 

79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 

88 89 90 91 92 

93 94 95 

96 97 98 99 100 101 102 

103 104 105 106 107 

108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 

116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 

124 125 126 127 128 

129 130 131 

132 133 134 

136 137 138 139 

ACROSS 

1. Fib 

4. Hard to lift 

8. Brindled cat 

11. Craftsman 

16. Art stand 

18. Generosity in a game 

19. Governing 

21. Most furious 

23. Raising 

26. Latest 

28. Doled (out) 

30. Required 

32. Minuscule 

34. Woman’s title 

36. Wise saying 

38. TV monitor, ... screen 

39. Soup-serving spoon 

42. Section of intestine 

45. Priest’s community 

47. Conclusive evidence 

49. Communion table 

50. Twig homes 

53. Birthplace of St Francis 

55. Disturbance 

56. Expel from country 

57. Enlist (4,2) 

135 

59. Greek love god 

60. Designer, ... Saint Laurent 

61. Fool (self) 

63. Shadowed 

66. Spree 

68. Main fin 

70. Wily 

71. Feathered creature 

72. Peanut (sauce) 

73. Bank vault 

76. Take (exam) 

77. Coastal waters 

78. Asphalt 

79. Video player (1,1,1) 

81. Highly excited 

83. Bacteria 

85. This place 

86. Matched group 

88. Nuclear weapon, ... bomb 

90. Carpentry spikes 

91. Soundest of mind 

92. Close result, photo ... 

93. Solemn vow 

95. Angel’s ring 

96. Mean & nasty 

97. Oak kernels 

© Lovatts Publications 

100. Swing loosely 

102. Make beloved 

103. Discourage 

105. Provide food 

106. Equine 

108. Embedded (in) 

110. Tier 

112. Low clouds 

114. Inhabit 

117. Soldier’s decoration 

119. Overly 

121. Glowing coal 

124. Gradually implant (ideas) 

127. Tenant 

129. Re-accommodates 

130. Clumsy 

131. Gripping (tale) 

132. Dull 

134. Patiently enduring (4-9) 

135. Enthusiastic 

136. Lives (at) 

137. Plush toy, ... bear 

138. Automobile body type 

139. Downpours 

DOWN 

1. Arrogant newcomer 

2. Without thinking 

3. Removes (spiral cap) 

5. Eventuated 

6. Covered (face) 

7. Yelp 

8. Leaf brew 

9. US astronaut, Edwin “Buzz” 

10. Harbour crossing 

12. More with-it 

13. Cowardice 

14. Every evening 

15. Scottish pattern 

17. Joined crowd brawl 

20. Animal den 

22. Use clippers 

24. Appliance cord 

25. Singer, ... Diamond 

27. Modify 

29. Man-made fibre 

31. Dogs, Great ... 

33. NYC landmark, ... State Building 

34. Thaw 

35. Wound crust 

37. Asphyxiated by fumes 

40. Frightened 

41. Flogs 

43. Via the mouth 

44. Pungent bulbs 

46. Hospital rooms 

48. Overthrowing 

51. Reticent 

52. Slopped over 

54. Enticement 

58. Quarantine 

62. Opt 

64. Fire crime 

65. Is brave enough 

66. Rural properties 

67. Garden entries 

69. Argentina’s Buenos ... 

71. Bleating sound 

74. Beyond, ... than 

75. Before (poetic) 

79. Assess worth of 

80. Swaying seats (7,6) 

82. Aplenty 

83. Quick look 

84. Hunting expedition 

85. Tallness 

86. Achingly comical (4-9) 

87. Prickle 

89. Golfer’s aide 

92. Sheep’s wool 

94. Headwear 

98. Honeycomb segments 

99. Common seasoning 

100. Protest march 

101. Mislays 

104. Actor, ... Murphy 

107. Unintoxicated 

109. Added up (to) 

111. Streak 

113. Sighted 

115. Roundhead general, Oliver ... 

116. Chaser 

118. Response 

120. Was in debt to 

122. Seance go-between 

123. Puts behind bars 

125. Creep lightly 

126. Slanted 

127. Pakistani city 

128. Mark of discredit 

133. Happily carefree 

134. Musical, ... Misérables 

35

COLUMNS 

COLD BEER AND COLD NIGHTS DON’T MATCH… 

BEER GUY 

Daniel Hargreaves loves his 

hops, barely and yeast, and 

often writes blogs about the 

subject he enjoys so much. 

We tricked him into writing 

about all things beer for 

MASSIVE. 

We may have had fine weather 

in Welly lately but come 6pm the 

cold air begins to creep through 

windows and slightly open doors. 

The fire goes on. Winters fingers 

begin to close around its chilly 

palm and eventually form into an 

icy fist. The thing about ‘decent’ 

beer is that they can match any 

occasion. Very few mass produced 

beers of the generic lager theme, 

can cajole feelings of warmth and 

comfort come winter. 

It’s simply my favourite time of 

year for drinking; sure a couple of 

cold ones on a hot summer’s day 

are great, and often needed. However 

to appreciate beer with food, 

or to truly drink a beer on merit 

over sheer refreshment value. The 

colder months are definitely time 

to indulge. 

The trouble with darker beers 

is that they are often the last style 

drinkers new to craft beer get in 

to. With Wellington’s all day dependence 

on caffeine and the 

wonderful coffee that is poured 

daily around the city it constantly 

surprises me that dark beer gets 

the press it should. Every Man, 

Woman and Child in this town 

has a palate for roasted, chocolatley, 

burnt toast, berry like flavours. 

Why should these nuances 

in beer put so many people off? 

For me it’s back to global machismo 

marketing, to the artificially 

gloopy stouts you see the world 

over, been consumed by old seadogs 

with nicotine stained hair. 

It’s time to drop this century old 

attitude that stout or porter is for; 

old men, ladies with anemia, or 

Ena Sharples! 

All this aside, dark beer can 

take many forms. Look out for 

the German inspired Schwarz 

beers or dark lagers, Mussel Inn 

Dark Horse and Hallertau Deception 

are well worth checking out. 

Something slightly more interesting 

would be Croucher Patriot a 

black IPA or my perennial favourite, 

Yeastie Boys, Pot Kettle Black. 

A beer that straddles the line between 

a black IPA and a hoppy 

porter. It tastes as good as ever at 

the minute and if you try a glass 

of this with a well-made chocolate 

brownie you’ll never drink a latte 

again! 

So what’s to do? Wait for a cold 

day, the wetter and more miserable 

the better, source one of the 

beers below, leave it out of the 

fridge for an hour and indulge, 

with a book or fine company It’s 

sure to start an impromptu gathering 

or moment to yourself that 

you won’t regret. 

8Wired Big Smoke: Does things 

to you that beer Shouldn’t be allowed 

to do. A NZ interpretation 

on the Rauchbier style 

Cassels and sons: Milk stout 

currently pouring from a number 

of handpulls around Welly, hard 

to find but well worth it. 

Renaissance Craftsman Chocolate 

Stout: Surely there is another 

batch due from the boys in Blenheim 

when it hits the shelves it 

will disappear, a must try. 

FLAT FEEDS 

Sam Bonney shows students 

how to feed your flat for less 

than $20 

Search $20 Flat Feeds NZ 

on Facebook for more cheap 

recipes 

CHINESE HONEY BEEF & PEPPER STIR-FRY 

Serves 4, $8.90-ish 

Ingredients: 

• 400g tenderised beef steak: 

$5.50 (This is the cheap steak 

that has cuts all over it. It’s 

extra chewy which I actually 

quite like. Mine came premarinated 

but if you can only 

get it plain, soak the beef in a 

bit of soy sauce and honey). 

• Half a bunch of spring onions: 

30c 

• Half a red onion: 20c 

• Half a yellow capsicum: 40c 

(enjoy these now while they 

are still cheapish! Winter is a 

scarce capsicum time). 

• Half thumb of ginger: 20c 

• 2 cloves garlic: almost nothing 

• ½ tsp of chilli flakes (opt): 20c 

• Tsp soy sauce: 10c 

• Tsp honey: 20c 

• ¾ of 400g pack of wide 

(10mm) rice noodles : $1.80 

Steps: 

If your meat isn’t already marinated 

you should do that a couple of 

hours beforehand and throw it in 

the fridge. 

Before you start on the other ingredients, 

cover the rice noodles 

with boiling water. When the rest 

is ready they will be too. Stir-fry is 

fast so you need to have all your 

cooking stuff ready to go. I chop 

from fastest to slowest and then 

cook my way back. 

Slice the spring onions, red onion 

and the capsicum. Set aside. 

Mince or finely chop the garlic. 

Grate the ginger. Set aside. 

Thinly slice the beef steak. 

Add steak to a very hot frypan. 

Stir frequently, but let it sit every 

now and then to get a scorchy 

brown in places. 

When the meat is browned on 

the outside, add garlic and ginger 

(and chilli if using) to pan. Move 

them around and then let them sit 

while you add the soy sauce and 

honey. Stir again. 

Tip in the onion, capsicum and 

spring onion. Keep it moving 

until the spring onion greens just 

start to wilt. You want stir-fry to 

be reasonably crunchy. Remove 

from the heat. 

Drain the noodles. Divide into 

bowls. Top with stir-fry mixture. 

Season with salt and pepper if 

desired. Boom – simple and fast. 

36

LOOKING TO GET BOYS’ ATTENTION 

ASK A GURU 

Similar to the back of the bus, 

this is where all the juicy shit 

is. Each month we will answer 

your questions via. Formspring.me/massiveguruz 

Q: There are two boys walking 

around uni together. They’re really 

good looking and we want to 

get to know them. How can we get 

their attention and what would 

be a good conversation starter? 

From two girls who are in 

A: Easy. Show some skin. If these 

boys are heterosexual then showing 

skin will be all that you need 

to do. But if you two are the more 

conservative type, and don’t feel 

like coming across as sluzzaz, 

then follow these simple steps: 

Eye contact. It’s all in the sex eyes. 

When you see these boys walking 

past, stare like a tiger stalking 

its prey, and thanks to the laws 

of nature, it is an offer they can’t 

refuse. Once you’ve established 

eye contact, get rid of the stare, 

pout and look sexy. Make puppy 

dog eyes, purr like a kitten and 

create the smallest duck face possible, 

and don’t forget to smile. 

This is a baited hook these boys 

can’t refuse. 

You have laid down the groundwork. 

From this step, you need to 

start talking to them otherwise all 

this ‘looking hot for the boys’ will 

go to waste. 

After the third time you see 

them, and do that whole smiling 

duck puppy kitten face thing, then 

grow some big-girl balls and go 

talk to them. 

Don’t be boring. Don’t ask 

them how they are, but instead 

ask them who they are, what 

they do, where they live, who is 

their daddy and what does he do. 

This isn’t stalkerish, it’s showing 

you are confident, like Beyonce, 

my girlfriend, and that’s what us 

males love. Confidence is hawt. 

If you pull this off successfully, 

then the conversation should just 

flow. 

However, if this doesn’t work, 

the boys are either loners who 

watch the History Channel and 

masturbate to it, or they are just 

not interested because they are either 

gay, or already in a relationship 

with another fly honey. If it 

is the latter, then snap yo fingerz 

gurl, and remember that you are 

independent black women who 

don’t need no man, and come 

find me, I’ll talk to you and love 

you … forever. 

Five steps to kissing a girl 

properly 

• Make sure she actually wants to kiss 

you. If she doesn’t, you are a rapist. 

•When the moment arrives, and you 

will both know it, stare deeply into her 

eyes and caress her head with your 

hand. If she is kinky, pull her hair a bit. 

• Ensure your lips are moist, breath 

is fresh, and you have nothing in your 

mouth. 

• Go in for the kiss. I don’t mean a fullon 

tongue-in-the-mouth, salvia-goingeverywhere, 

gobby-noises-being-made 

type of kiss. Put your lips on her lips, 

gently opening your mouth, no tongue 

as of yet. 

• Take short breaks from kissing, 

admiring her beauty when not. After 

five minutes of this ‘I love you’ kissing, 

now is the time to unleash the beast. 

Slip your tongue in ever so slightly, 

brushing her tongue with yours, and 

if you are lucky, she’ll receprocate by 

offering you sex. 

PREPARING FOR BLOCKBUSTER SEASON 

FILM BUFFED 

Paul Berrington seems to 

know everything in the world 

about film, and wants you to 

as wel 

It is almost here, that time of 

year when blockbusters take over 

the cinema, and 2012 is no different, 

with a huge number of films 

on the horizon. In New Zealand 

we have seen a few attempts to 

beat the oncoming wave of event 

cinema in May and June, Gary 

Ross’ The Hunger Games has 

been well received by critics and 

fans, yet another autumn release, 

Wrath of the Titans, continues 

Hollywood’s inability to bring 

Greek mythology to life successfully. 

The director of that film, 

Jonathan Liebesman is currently 

in pre-production for Teenage 

Mutant Ninja Turtles, due for release 

in early 2013. 

Perhaps the most impressive 

looking blockbuster of the new 

season looks to be Ridley Scott’s 

science fiction epic Prometheus, 

featuring an incredible cast 

– Michael Fassbender, Charlize 

Theron, Idris Elba, Guy Pearce – 

and a trailer that suggests it may 

be a prequel to his original Alien 

film, as a group of scientists explore 

the origins of mankind in a 

distant solar system. 

Extensive hype also surrounds 

Christopher Nolan’s third Batman 

movie The Dark Knight 

Rises, which looks like taking the 

series to new heights in terms 

of special effects and intensity, 

with Tom Hardy’s masked villain 

Bane looking ferociously evil, a 

new Catwoman in Anne Hathaway, 

and a trailer that leaves you 

rattled by devastating action sequences. 

Nolan regulars Joseph 

Gordon-Levitt and Marion Cotillard 

star alongside big names 

Christian Bale, Liam Neeson, and 

Michael Caine. Expect the film to 

set new box office records on its 

release in July. 

I’m probably risking life and 

limb by saying this, but the trailer 

to The Hobbit: An Unexpected 

Journey left me a little underwhelmed. 

Still Martin Freeman 

looks born to play Bilbo Baggins, 

and all of the cast from the Lord 

of the Rings Trilogy have returned. 

No doubt it will be a cut 

above the usual blockbuster, yet 

with the novel being split in two 

and of another six hours of elves 

and wizards to add to the nine 

hours that already exist. I have to 

admit I’m slightly skeptical. 

Due in May, Men in Black III 

looks to thrill and amuse with 

Will Smith travelling back to the 

60s to prevent the assassination 

of partner Agent K, Tommy Lee 

Jones, and played as a younger 

man in black by Josh Brolin. The 

most promising feature though is 

the casting of Jermaine Clement 

as the villain, Boris. Also exciting 

is the fact that Buffy the Vampire 

Slayer creator Joss Whedon is at 

the helm of The Avengers, the story 

of S.H.I.E.L.D., a peacekeeping 

agency made up of Marvel Comics 

superheroes Samuel L. Jackson, 

Robert Downey JR., and Scarlett 

Johansson lead another strong 

cast. 


37

REVIEWS 

THE HUNGER GAMES 

Paul Berrington 

FILM 

2012 

Directed by 

Gary Ross 

Produced by 

Nina Jacobson, John Kilik 

Staring 

Jennifer Lawrence, Josh 

Hutcherson, Woody Harrelson, 

Stanley Tucci, and Lenny Kravitz 

Despite the occasionally illogical 

plotting and overly detailed 

back story, this film adaptation 

of Suzanne Collins’ The Hunger 

Games is a surprisingly accomplished 

affair, with the lead performance 

of Jennifer Lawrence 

raising the film above the mediocrity 

of the much-compared Twilight 

series. 

Set in a dystopian world where 

an apocalyptic event has left society 

in ruins, one powerful state, 

the Capitol, controls another 

twelve districts through the use 

of power and force. The title of 

the film relates to a competition 

in which two children - one male 

and one female - are taken from 

each district once a year to fight 

to the death until a single winner 

is found. The event is the most 

popular source of entertainment 

in the wealthy Capitol, mirroring 

our own fascination with reality 

television, yet is seen as way to 

control by the ruling class and 

feared by those in the districts. 

When her sister is chosen, Katniss 

Everdean (Lawrence) becomes 

the first-ever volunteer from District 

12, and is whisked away to a 

world of glamour and grotesque. 

Soon intense training and grand 

ceremony turn Katniss from naïve 

teenager into a formidably popular 

heroine, and with the help of 

mentor, former winner Haymitch 

Abernathy (an excellent Woody 

Harrelson), she is sent into battle. 

The opening scenes in District 

12 are brilliantly filmed, creating 

a setting that looks a lot like 

America during the great depression. 

Indeed the first section of 

the film is powerful and claustrophobic, 

positioning the viewer 

very close to Katniss and her 

overwhelming experiences. While 

another strength is the refusal by 

director Gary Ross (Seabiscuit, 

Pleasantville) to tone down the 

violence of the books for the big 

screen, which is often intense and 

shocking, without being overly 

explicit. The problem is that once 

the games start, the film becomes 

messy, with too much going on in 

terms of detail, and an ignorance 

of structural logic. Author Collins 

developed the script, and you get 

the feeling that a treatment might 

have tightened these flawed elements. 

Despite these structural 

faults The Hunger Games is both 

a compelling and ironic film. The 

totalitarian world of Panem is 

brought to life successfully and 

the costume design is particularly 

outstanding. The mood throughout 

is a suitably grim, if only the 

pacing could have matched it. 

NME - C86 

Tim Cederwall 

ALBUM 

1986 

Label 

Rough Trade, 

New Musical Express 

Compiled by 

Neil Taylor, Adrian Thrills, Roy Carr 

The year was 1986. The United 

Nations proclaimed it to be the 

international year of peace, the 

Oprah Winfrey show premiered 

and Tina Turner received a Star 

on the Hollywood walk of fame. 

Your humble narrator had only 

recently been a twinkle in his father’s 

eye and Don Johnston hysteria 

was gripping the civilized 

world. In spite of this, and in the 

far reaches of the United Kingdom, 

a musical movement was 

choking into life. 

British musical history often 

reads as if all Sony Walkmans 

fell silent between the rise of the 

Smiths in the early ‘80s and the 

emergence of the Stone Roses in 

the early ‘90s. The C86 scene is 

increasingly being viewed as the 

long forgotten footsteps between 

these two landmarks. 

Now the concept of jangly guitars 

and the New Musical Express 

I must admit does raise all 

manor of red flags today. But In 

1986 a time when Freddy Mercury 

was blowing minds by the 

thousand across the world, C86 

was about as reactionary as possible 

and truly served as the birth 

of modern Indie music. 

The NME had been releasing 

mail order compilations for some 

time. As a follow up to the popular 

C81 cassette C86, was an encapsulation 

of a group of musical 

forbears that have, for the most 

part since, been either marginalised 

or forgotten. The compilation 

comprises of a few widely remembered 

bands although musically 

from start to finish you are met 

with a strong feeling of familiarity. 

This is where an interesting 

idea arises; these songs that seem 

often so immediately familiar 

were uttered over a decade before 

their innovations reached the 

masses. Popular bands such as 

the Artic Monkeys and Franz Ferdinand 

have a lot to thank these 

bands for as well as the birth of 

some great record labels such as 

rough trade and creation records. 

The album as a whole does 

not fit a tight categorisation of a 

movement greatly sharing limited 

influences. It, in fact, resembles 

an often shambolic collection of 

raw ideas. But what they do share 

is an ethos of anti-glam rock and 

gritty low-fi punk influenced recordings. 

The fact that this record remains 

primarily overlooked by 

the masses is true to the attitudes 

of the bands at the time and their 

lack of ambition for ever making 

the musical discovery as authentic 

now as it ever has been. 

38

MASS EFFECT 3 

Allan Werner 

GAME 

2012 

Platform 

Playstation 3, X-Box 360, PC 

The sci-fi epic of its time in 

gaming concluded last month 

with the release of Mass Effect 

3. The games appeal comes from 

its incredibly deep and developed 

lore and the capacity for the decisions 

the player makes throughout 

the series to impact upon the 

direction the narrative takes. Set 

in the future with themes of deep 

space exploration, inter-species 

relations and synthetic (Artificial 

Intelligence) – organic cohabitation, 

the game has been very 

popular, boasting 3.2 million sold 

as of March 24 (according to VG- 

Chartz). Unfortunately, the ending 

sucked. In the last ten minutes 

players are funnelled into one of 

three options, all of which lead to 

an almost identical conclusion: 

one with gigantic plot holes. A vocal 

minority has been very loud 

on the internet fuelling what has 

now turned into quite the controversy. 

The Retake Mass Effect online 

petition is an effort now winding 

down which garnered a lot of attention. 

Its goal was to petition 

Bioware, the company behind 

Mass Effect, to provide changed 

or additional end game content in 

the light that those who felt unfulfilled 

by the games ending(s) desired 

something more. The petition 

presented arguments for the 

change and specified about a few 

key areas those in support would 

have liked resolved. The claims 

were not unsolicited. Fills for plot 

holes, explanations of untouched 

outcomes and a more decisive, 

epic conclusion for the protagonist 

were requested. 

It’s clear that the notion of the 

petition may have touched on 

a sense of entitlement amongst 

gamers. IGN’s Colin Moriarty, 

Playstation editor and prominent 

podcast personality has touted 

his opinion about the petition 

and wider controversy receiving 

mixed reactions from the internet. 

Moriarty argues fiction is 

an artistic expression of somebody’s 

vision and to ask someone 

to change THEIR vision because 

YOU didn’t like it is selfish and 

wrong and I agree. Imagine a 

blockbuster movie being re-released 

with a new ending because 

some people didn’t like the original 

conclusion. 

Its understandable fans may 

feel ripped off; I wasn’t particularly 

thrilled with the ending. But 

there’s a right and wrong way to 

go about it and asking someone to 

change THEIR vision is a front to 

the creative artistic process. 

Valuable Goods 

At Allpress it’s all about flavour... 

This fanatical obsession involves 

choosing the best possible beans, 

using innovative roasting technology, 

training baristas and the expertise 

of our people. 

For those who truly value flavour. 

Brewing at Tussock and Museum Cafés 


39

COMIC 

I’m glad You are 

Enjoying the Sandwiches 

that I have made, But 

keep your eyes open... 

i have the eeriest 

sensation that were 

being watched. 

ah! see there! a small horde 

of multi eyed and hungry 

looking warriors! 

GuT these bastards and 

steal their delicious 

looking sandwiches! 

40

WELCOME 

ALUMNI@MASSEY 

When you graduate from Massey, you will join a network of over a hundred thousand past students (alumni) 

in 143 different countries around the world. So you never really leave Massey. 

Our alumni work in a diverse range of areas, in public service, finance, banking, the arts, business, politics 

and education. Our alumni are valued across the world for their creativity, their ability to innovate and 

adapt to a variety of situations and circumstances. And our alumni are very good at helping each other in 

business and in life. 

Get connected today by joining one of our virtual networks Online Community alumnionline.massey.ac.nz 

Facebook facebook.com/pages/Massey-University-Alumni/151727098173821 

LinkedIn linkedin.com/groups?gid=121382&trk=myg_ugrp_ovr 

MASSEY GRADUATION 

GIFT IDEAS 

Looking for a graduation momento, some cool Massey 

gear to wear, or just something to remember your time 

with us? We have a huge range of memorabilia, gifts and 

apparel to suit everyone. 

WANTS YOU 

’CLASS OF 2012’ T-SHIRT ONLY $15 

BEFORE 31 MAY 2012 

Does not include P&H on online orders. Usually $25RRP 

WILLIAM BEAR OR FERGUS RAM FROM $40 

BACK PACK ONLY $25 

(black or blue) 

CONTACT ALUMNI RELATIONS 

call us on 06 350 5865 or alumni@massey.ac.nz 

SHOP ONLINE AT http://alumnishop.massey.ac.nz 

VISIT ONE OF OUR STORES 

Manawatu Shop opp Dining Hall 

Wellington Student Central 

UniMart & Pharmacy @ Student Amenities 

www.massivemagazine.org.nz

APRIL 2012 - ISSUE 03 - Massive Magazine

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