KINGSWOOD FOR LIFE

THE AMBASSADOR'S SPIN
The guy's name is Michael. But, don't ever address him as such. He is
KLAUS, plain and simple. He has been with us for 21 of Kingswood's 31
summers under the Wipfler banner. As Head Counselor, he makes knowing
every boy his prime camp duty. He is everybody's best friend, UNLESS he has
donned his black trench coat, black hat and dark sunglasses, whereupon he
transforms into the mean Mr. Ambassador (from nowhere to nowhere). His
mission is to smash every egg to bits during the infamous Egg Drop
competition. He's got a great way with sarcasm and we think you will enjoy his
biting wit at each rendition of the KFL. Take it away Mr. Ambassador.
Hi Kingswood alum both distant and recent. While
many of you distant alum have no idea who I am since I
started in 1995 as a ten year old, this is my 21st summer
coming up and Mr. Wiff has not found a way to get rid of me
yet. He still loves giving out random titles and Czardoms and I
have many now, my favorite being Director of the Junior
Camp (Kingswood has never had a separate Junior Camp, yet
I have been the Director of it for a good long while now).
I was deeply inspired by the various Kingswood
"traditions" that the Wiffs promised to keep in the summer of
1985. Kingswood is a camp deeply steeped in traditions. From
Egg Drops to Haunted Houses, Pemi Day to movie nights, the
big events of Kingswood seemingly have not changed in my
soon-to-be 21 year tenure. The more "subtle" traditions have
been even more intractable: counselors scrambling for a pencil
to take down a roster on a paper plate, line frisbee's "three
halves," legendary dining hall bits hastily put together with
randomly chosen garb from the attic.
Okay, some of the promised traditions have stuck
around the whole time. Bow and Arrow has not been
forgotten and is as strong as ever, even though some advances
have prevailed (skits are now movies, for example), the
Five-Year Dinner has become a cookout with steaks for the
old-timers, and this mysterious "Gravy Boat" has been
transformed into a United States Post Office truck that comes
daily with more sugar than a child could eat without getting
sick.
However, some of the "traditions" listed here have gone off the
wayside and I WANT TO KNOW WHY.
The Volvo Tennis Day Trip. I have been Czar of
tennis for at least twelve years and I have never heard of this
event. Did the old, ant-infested courts of Roland Kingswood
host a sponsored tournament? Did we ever have enough
players to be worthy of driving to a tournament outside of our
beloved Baker Valley?
The Kingswood Fair. Every second session we go to
the North Haverhill Fair to get in touch with our New
Hampshire roots through watching pig races, cars run into
each other, woodsmen throwing and chopping, and carneys
desperately trying to rip us off (Mr. Wiff's quote "NOW
LOOK IT: you give those people a ten and they give you two
back" comes to mind), but I have never heard of a Kingswood
Fair. Rob Wiff has been demanding a Circus Parade for as
longs as I can remember....is this the event?
The Magic Show. I have no idea what kind of "magic"
has been produced by the Kingswood staff, but I would like to
bring this back for another attempt. Perhaps the Great
Zucchini, Eric Knaus, will grace us with his presence for a few
pointed demonstrations.
Until next rant, look for me with megaphone in hand
commenting on whatever I come across.
-Klaus