May 6, 2013 - Diocese of Altoona-Johnstown

Page 4 The Catholic Register, May 6, 2013
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Point Of View
Are you dreading Mother’s
and Father’s Day? Couples who
long to conceive but can’t or desire
to carry a child to term but
haven’t, find their loss especially
painful at this time of year.
If you are dealing with infertility,
know that you are not
forgotten. This article is for
you and for those who haven’t
known this heartache, but want
to understand so as to be a loving
support.
Speaking of support, a new
website, CatholicandInfertile.
com, offers an array of physical,
spiritual, and emotional support
to Catholic couples who yearn
for the blessing of a child. It includes
opportunities to dialogue
with other couples in the same
situation.
A retreat for infertile couples,
“The Lord Humbles and
Exalts” is scheduled for June
7 – 9, 2013 in Kearneysville,
West Virginia. Bill Donaghy, a
philosopher and theologian, and
his wife Rebecca will be presenters,
sharing their personal
experience with infertility and
adoption in an intellectually and
emotionally accessible manner.
Visit www.dwc.org/marriage or
contact Rebecca Royse at (304)
233-0880 x333.
Two recent books offer
personal stories and insight
Let’s be sensitive to the
pain of infertile couples.
In our prayers, perhaps we
might include those “parents”
waiting to adopt, for
even though their cribs
are empty, their hearts are
already loving their yet unseen
children.
into the experience of infertility.
In Longing To Love, Tim
Muldoon, a former professor
at Mount Aloysius College in
Cresson, recounts the years he
and his wife tried to conceive,
her eagerness to adopt a baby
from China and his initial lack
of readiness to adopt.
In their story one witnesses
the long slow grieving that
comes with the dawning realization
that it is impossible that
they will be birth parents. Tim is
honest about the different ways
he and Suzanne dealt with accepting
this unwelcome change
in the script they had expected
for their lives.
After adopting, Tim says,
“People have asked me in recent
months whether adopting feels
like a second-best option. I answer
them honestly: at first, it
did... Now, though, I’ve come to
see things differently… For me,
letting go of the script has given
me the chance to question what
it is that I’ve really wanted all
along… What I want is not primarily
to pass along our genes
(what’s so great about them anyway?),
but rather to share with
her the experience of raising a
child.”
The second book, While
We Wait, offers spiritual and
practical advice for those trying
Publisher:
Most Reverend Bishop
Mark L. Bartchak
Editor:
Rev. Msgr. Timothy P. Stein
Manager:
Bruce A. Tomaselli
Secretary:
Frances M. Logrando
The
Bureau Drawer
By Susan Stith
Longing To Be Parents
to adopt. Through her own experience
of adopting a son from
Vietnam, Heidi Schlumpf takes
us through the long wait she and
her husband endured.
“Initially, the paperwork
seemed unbearable and unfair
to me,” Heidi says. “Biological
parents don’t have to go through
all this scrutiny and work. For
many of them, children seem
to come so easily. For months, I
felt like I had a second job.”
She describes the pain of
spouses who watch the other
hurting during the waiting time.
“Every once in awhile I catch
Edmund staring longingly at a
dad with a baby, and I feel the
depth of his sadness so profoundly
that I want to just hold
him and make the pain go away.”
Heidi also shares experiences
of the “unknown due
date” that kept getting pushed
back, advice on how spouses
can take turns being the one to
encourage the other, and how to
deal with the unintentional rude
comments of others.
As we focus on parenthood,
let’s be sensitive to the pain of
infertile couples. In our prayers,
perhaps we might include those
“parents” waiting to adopt, for
even though their cribs are empty,
their hearts are already loving
their yet unseen children.
Another
Perspective
By Monsignor Timothy P. Stein
No More Hurting People
In the days following the bomb attacks at the Boston
Marathon, several photos were released of eight – year – old
Martin Richard, who was one of three people killed that day.
One showed him in a white suit, holding a banner emblazoned
with his name; a picture taken on the day of his First
Holy Communion. The children at our parish make banners
with their names for their First Communion day, too. That picture
most certainly moved me.
Another photo was chilling. It showed Martin standing
near the Marathon’s finish line, watching the runners pass by.
Standing directly behind him was the younger of the two men
alleged to have planted the bombs. Innocence and evil stood
together that day, as they do in our world, everyday. But seeing
them pictured together was enough to send chills down
my spine.
The third picture of Martin that has been seen around the
world shows the little boy holding a poster, decorated with the
peace sign, and bearing the simple message “No more hurting
people.” Martin finished his poster off with two hearts, a
universal symbol of love. Reports said that Martin made his
poster after learning of the shooting death of Trayvon Martin in
Florida. In mourning that young man’s untimely death, Martin
wrote his own epitaph, a loving message of hope, a recipe for
peace: No more hurting people.
I am guessing that Martin must have learned the words of
the Golden Rule - - “Do unto others as you would have them
do unto you” - - and translated them into words that made
sense to him: No more hurting people. Out of the mouths
of babes . . . what a difference it would make if more people
thought like Martin, and made the Golden Rule their own rule
of conduct.
No more hurting people. It doesn’t get any simpler than
that, nor does it get any more profound. If you don’t want
to be hurt by others, then don’t hurt other people, yourself.
Show some respect for the common humanity that unites us
all, no matter what differences there might be in the way we
live, think, worship, or what have you. What makes us one is
so much more important than what divides us. Do unto others
as you would have them do unto you. Treat everyone as you
would want them to treat you. Be mindful of what you say and
what you do. In thought, in word, in deed, give other people
their due.
When we hear of an act of terrorism, we usually are quick
to distance ourselves from the thought that we could ever act
that way, or do something so heinous. But every time we hurt
another person in any fashion, we are violating our Lord’s own
rule for peace on earth and harmony among all people. Martin
Richard knew that. He left us a poignant reminder of how we
are to live - - especially if we dare to call ourselves followers
of Jesus: No more hurting people. Not now - - not ever - - no
more.