Rupert Ross - Speaking My Truth

can escape the violent relational patterns they absorbed as children andstart living within healthy relationships instead, before their children areirrevocably damaged.As a footnote, many families refuse to seek help in their home communities,fearing that gossip, ridicule, and retribution may follow disclosure. If moreneutral-ground family healing centres like the one in Muskrat Dam FirstNation were available, perhaps operated by multi-community groups liketribal councils, this obstacle might be overcome.On a hopeful note, the Truth and Reconciliation Commission does not haveto look far to find effective community intervention strategies. First Nationslike Muskrat Dam, Hollow Water in Manitoba, and Mnjikaning (Rama) insouthern Ontario have already demonstrated how traditional teachingscan bring families back to healthy relations. The real challenge may lie inpersuading government agencies to stop putting roadblocks in their way, atopic I will return to later.Intergenerational Sexual AbuseThe Hollow Water First Nation in Manitoba has been dealing with sexualabuse cases for nearly twenty years and working with other First Nationsfor almost as long. Their experience tells them that in many communitiesbetween sixty and eighty per cent of the people have been victimized bysexual abuse, primarily at the hands of extended family members, and fullyfifty per cent have been victimizers to one degree or another.The layers of secrecy and fear on this issue often seem impenetrable. Iremember sitting in a circle of Aboriginal women from across Canada oneday and I mentioned a case where we had charged an elder 2 with sexuallyabusing his adopted daughter for five years, subjecting her to both analand vaginal intercourse. Instead of the shocked denunciation I expectedfor accusing an elder of such a thing, I was swamped with stories of similarabuse in other communities. When I told them that the chief responded tothe girl’s plea for help by calling the elder and telling him to come get her,there was a chorus of stories about similar cover-ups. And when I mentionedthat the chief and council, upon conviction of the elder after a hard-foughttrial, asked the court for a healing sentence despite the fact that the elderhad never admitted his crime and the little girl had been banished fromthe community, I got the same response: the power structures in manycommunities routinely supported the abusers and banished the victims.I also recall a case where the father was charged with sexually abusing hisyoungest daughter. When the daughter finally disclosed and charges were150 | Rupert Ross