Toni Braxton's - The Rainbow Times

14 • May 6, 2010 - May 19, 2010 • The Rainbow Times • www.therainbowtimesnews.comHarris hits the road for RI marriage equality, promotes changeBy: Joe Siegel/TRT ReporterFor the fourth consecutive year, Rick Harrishas been traveling the roads of Rhode Islandfor a worthy cause—promoting marriageequality.Harris, the 59 year-old Executive Directorof the Rhode Island chapter of the NationalAssociation of Social Workers, has rode hisbicycle over 4500 miles and visited 12 statesand Washington, D.C. in an effort to win supportfor equal rights for same-sex couples.Harris has also been toState Houses in NewYork, New Jersey,and throughout NewEngland.In addition, Harrishas collected 2600 signatureson a TravelingProclamation for CivilMarriage. On April13, he went to RhodeIsland College and theCommunity College ofRhode Island (CCRI)to win support. Otherstops include the Universityof Rhode Island,Brown University, andBryant University inSmithfield.And in May, Harrisplans to deliver“Marriage Equality O-Grams” to every singlestate legislator.Harris’ bike ride hasthe backing of NASWas well as MarriageEquality Rhode Island(MERI).Rhode Island is theRick Harrisonly New England state which has failed torecognize same-sex marriages.The Iowa native has always been a strongbeliever in equal rights for all people.“I can’t remember a time when it wasn’timportant to me,” said Harris, who has been alongtime ally of the GLBT community.Securing marriage equality for same-sexcouples has been one of NASW’s top priorities,noted Harris, who has testified in favorof legislation granting same-sex couples equalrights at the Rhode Island State House.Harris reports getting a mixed response fromthe people he encounters during his travels.Some are very supportive of the concept of civilmarriage for gay and lesbian couples. A purplebanner which reads “Support Civil Marriage”with the words “Same Gender Marriage” underneathis somethingHarris displays outsidehis tent when he stays atcampgrounds for somemuch-needed rest.“The main reason I doit is the conversations Ihave with people,” Harrisexplained.Harris reports gettinga friendly receptionfrom CCRI students,who told him the topicof marriage equalitywas “personally relevant”to them.Others are hostiletoward the concept ofsame-sex marriage anddon’t hold back fromshowing their feelings.Harris has beenscreamed and yelled atby a few of the peoplehe has come into contactwith. These are theones who tend to usetheir religious beliefsas motivation to opposePhoto: Newport Daily Newssame-sex marriage,Harris noted.Harris targets hismessage toward a third group of people, the“fence-sitters”, who don’t have a lot of knowledgeabout the issue. The use of the words“civil marriage” is meant to inform the uneducatedthat marriage is a civil procedure, Harrisexplained.Photo: Rick HarrisHarris’ sign, bicycle and conversation has swayed people in favor of RI marriage equality.Harris hopes people will come around onthe issue of marriage equality for same-sexcouples by thinking about what he has to sayon the subject. Some people are what Harriscalls “turnarounds” – they read the sign andthen turn around, come back and tell Harris thesign, bicycle and conversation enabled them toC’mon Out from page 2Up until very recently we viewed gender asmale or female. These were the only lensesavailable. It has been a binary perspectivewhereby up until recently there were onlytwo choices. As the transgender movementcontinues there are many people for whom thisview is very limiting. More and more people areidentifying not as strictly male or female, butas something else. You may ask, “well, whatis this something else,” and BCT, I can notsay. The reason for this is because more peopleare defining gender in a way that is unique tothem. The concept of gender from this perspectiveis beyond definition.For these reasons we are seeing morepeople who might go by their birth pronounbut express themselves more similar to theopposite gender. There may be people whogo the pronoun of the opposite sex but choseto keep some or all features of their biologicalsex. You see, for some, gender is fluid andnot necessarily fixed in one camp or the other,but a combination of the two. Actually, if youthink about it, most of us who do not considerourselves transgender have physical features,tastes and interests that fall outside the strictdefinition of our gender.If there are limitless ways a person can be;in how they look, how they express themselves,what their values and preferences are,then perhaps there are limitless ways that aperson might experience gender. If we are freeto experience ourselves devoid of limitations ofappearances, sex roles, and gender expression,then a person may take on any one ofa limitless number of “male” or “female”qualities.This is precisely what I think you encounteredat the party you recently attended. Youmet someone who is taking the risk and livingin a way that feels true to that person. Eachperson, each family and each society constructsnorms, values, rules and expectations.These are arbitrary. The way we do things asa society in the U.S. , for example, is definitelychange their mind toward supporting marriageequality.Harris remains humble about the role heplays in the fight for equal rights: “This is mylittle individual effort. This is a little tiny thingI can do on my vacation.”not the way things are done in other parts ofthe world. If we construct our realities, thenwho is to say what gender should look like?Some of you probably think that I’m gettinga bit too far “out there” with all this. But thinkabout it. We base our most important relationships,for example, in part on surroundingourselves with people who think like wedo. And usually we think we are right. Thepower in surrounding ourselves with others isthat it carries weight and it seems to supportour view. There are people all over the worlddoing the same thing. Sometimes these viewsare opposing. They certainly are diverse. Butwho is right? Is there a right?If we’re making it up as we go, why don’twe just let everyone do their own thing aslong is it doesn’t cause harm? Is this notwhat the gay and lesbian movement hasasked? Shouldn’t all beings have the right tolove and live in peace?The gender movement is showing us again,that we have another opportunity to open ourhearts and make the world big enough for all.Best BCT, TettyC’mon Out! - Submit your questions toTetty Gorfine, Director of LifeCourse CounselingCenter. Simply go to www.lifecourse.net and click on “Ask Us A Question.” Allquestions will be answered on the bulletinboard. One or two will be printed next monthhere in The Rainbow Times.Tetty has also been a psychotherapistsince 1980. She has worked extensively withLGBTQ individuals, couples and groups andhas supervised both clinicians and therapistsin training. Her vision and leadership spiritednearly all of LifeCourse Counseling Center’sprograms. Tetty has also been on numerousradio talk shows and television programs.She has presented at professional conferenceson topics pertinent to gay, lesbian, bisexualand transgender individuals.