Resilience! A Guide for Educators - You Can Do It!

• “I Can Stand It” thinking (You canstand things you don’t like.)Ever hear yourself thinking: “This isawful, I can’t stand it!” You might applythis thinking about the behaviour of astudent, fellow colleague, schooladministrator, parents or the way theschool operates. When your brain tellsyour body something is awful and youcannot stand it, your emotions gogalloping to the top of your EmotionalThermometer. To strengthen yourresilience in the face of adverse events,you will need to remind yourself thatthings are not as bad as you think they are–they could be a lot worse. Review thesection on the Howbadzzat? CatastropheScale presented earlier in the article. Youshould also remind yourself that you havestood and will continue to stand thingsthat are bad –the evidence is that theseevents won’t kill you, you won’t faint.Dealing with Setbacks includingCriticism. We have now learned that onetype of negative thinking that underminespeople’s resilience is when they putthemselves down and take things verypersonally. This negative way of thinkingis called “Self‐Downing”. In order torebound from criticism and setbacks, youwill want to use a more rational way tothink about yourself; namely:• “Accepting Myself” thinking(Never rate yourself as beinghopeless or a loser when badthings happen to you.)Positive/Rational Thoughts to Help You Stop FeelingAnxious• Just because things are not succeeding today does notmean I’m a “no-hoper” or that I will not succeed in the future.• While it is very desirable to achieve well and be recognisedby others, I do not need achievement or recognition tosurvive and be happy.• Mistakes and rejections are inevitable. I will work hard ataccepting myself while hating my mistakes and setbacks.• My performance at work – perfect or otherwise – does notdetermine my worth as a person.• Things are rarely as bad, awful, or catastrophic as I imaginethem to be.• What’s the worst thing that can happen? It’s not the end ofthe world if I’m not successful or if someone thinks badly ofme.• Breathe in, breathe out. Be cool.Positive/Rational Thoughts to Help You StopFeeling Down• I accept who I am, even though I may not like some of mytraits and behaviours.• There are many things about me that I like and do well(enumerate them).• I have done many things at work successfully in the past, Iwill succeed in the future.• I am intelligent and talented enough to learn what I have todo and how to do it in order to accomplish my goals.• My performance at work – perfect or otherwise – does notdetermine my worth as a person.• I am confident that everything will turn out okay given that Ihave my goals, know what to do, and work hard.• I prefer people to like me, but I can live without theirapproval.• Mistakes and setbacks are inevitable. I will accept myselfwhile disliking my mistakes and setbacks.To help overcome the tendency we allsometimes have to put ourselves down,complete the top half of the circle on the nextpage by filling in the appropriate spaces withpluses (+’s) for the things you do well at workand with minuses (‐’s) for the things you do notdo so well. Then, complete the bottom half ofthe circle by writing in the things you do well inthe rest of your life as well as the things you likeabout yourself (+’s). In the (‐’s), write in thingsyou do not do well or you do not like aboutyourself.To counter the tendency to put yourself downwhen things are not going well, ask yourself thefollowing questions:1. Does this bad situation (mistake, failure,rejection, criticism) take away my goodqualities?Resilience: A Guide for Educators 10