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VIEW from the <strong>Bar</strong> Room Floor<br />
<strong>CAMRA</strong> recently published a list of what are supposed to<br />
be the very best books on our favourite subjects: Pubs and<br />
Beer. All the usual titles were included – you know the kind<br />
of thing : ‘Pubs where you can find Top Tottie behind the<br />
<strong>Bar</strong>’, ‘100 Beers to make you sick’ and<br />
so on. But missing from <strong>CAMRA</strong>’s list<br />
was the best and most entertaining<br />
book on pubs that I have ever read. It<br />
is called ‘Tales from the Country Pub’<br />
and the author is Brian P Martin. It’s<br />
published by David & Charles and I<br />
thoroughly recommend it.<br />
It’s full of lovely stories, like this one (from the chapter on<br />
‘The Fisherman’s Friend’) – “They used to sell the little<br />
queen she-crabs down on the beach for ‘alf a crown each.<br />
One day this visitor says to an ol’ fisherman : “I’ll have a<br />
couple but I ‘aven’t got any change at the moment, but I’m<br />
goin’ to the pub and I’ll leave the money there for you”, and<br />
off ‘e went with the crabs. Later on the ol’ fisherman comes<br />
in to the pub and asks: “Did anyone leave any money for<br />
me, Cyril?”. “No”, I says. “Not five bob?” ‘e asks again. “No,<br />
definitely not”, I says. So ‘e ays : “Well- bugger me – if I’da’<br />
known ‘e weren’t goin’ t’pay I’d a’ charged ‘im ten bob!”<br />
The book has chapters on the oldest, smallest, most<br />
remote, most unspoilt, most filmed and highest (No, it’s<br />
not in Flash) pubs. You can also read about the oldest<br />
landlady, record-breaking regulars and the pub with no<br />
name. And there’s a pub that’s been looked after by the<br />
same family for hundreds of years.<br />
And there’s lots more : you can read about the landlord<br />
who threw a member of Led Zeppelin out for using bad<br />
language, a loony landlord (Monster Raving Loony Party,<br />
that is)…and there’s even a pub in the <strong>Potteries</strong> <strong>CAMRA</strong><br />
area – the <strong>Bar</strong>ley Mow at Kirk Ireton (a lovely pub). (Not<br />
actually in the <strong>Potteries</strong> Branch Area, as it lies over the<br />
county border into Derbyshire. Mores the pity. Ed)<br />
Reading about these pubs makes you want to visit them –<br />
all of them!<br />
I had never heard of this book until several years ago,<br />
when I went into hospital for a serious operation and it was<br />
given to me by two of my children. It made me forget why<br />
I was there and instead to dream about visiting the pubs I<br />
was reading about.<br />
These are the Ten Commandments displayed on the bar<br />
wall of a pub in Ireland:<br />
1. A customer is the most important person in any<br />
business.<br />
2. A customer is not dependent on us – we are dependent<br />
on him.<br />
3. A customer is not an interruption of our work. He is the<br />
purpose of it.<br />
4. A customer does us a favour when he calls – we are<br />
not doing him a favour by serving him.<br />
5. A customer is part of our business, not an outsider.<br />
6. A customer is not a cold statistic. – he is a flesh and<br />
blood human being with feelings and emotions like our<br />
own.<br />
7. A customer is not someone to argue or match wits with.<br />
8. A customer is one who brings us his wants – it is our<br />
job to fill those wants.<br />
9. A customer is deserving of the most courteous and<br />
attentive treatment we can give him.<br />
10. A customer is the life blood of this and every other<br />
business<br />
JSB<br />
SUMMER 2012 POTTERS BAR 17