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Potters Bar - CAMRA Potteries

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VIEW from the <strong>Bar</strong> Room Floor<br />

<strong>CAMRA</strong> recently published a list of what are supposed to<br />

be the very best books on our favourite subjects: Pubs and<br />

Beer. All the usual titles were included – you know the kind<br />

of thing : ‘Pubs where you can find Top Tottie behind the<br />

<strong>Bar</strong>’, ‘100 Beers to make you sick’ and<br />

so on. But missing from <strong>CAMRA</strong>’s list<br />

was the best and most entertaining<br />

book on pubs that I have ever read. It<br />

is called ‘Tales from the Country Pub’<br />

and the author is Brian P Martin. It’s<br />

published by David & Charles and I<br />

thoroughly recommend it.<br />

It’s full of lovely stories, like this one (from the chapter on<br />

‘The Fisherman’s Friend’) – “They used to sell the little<br />

queen she-crabs down on the beach for ‘alf a crown each.<br />

One day this visitor says to an ol’ fisherman : “I’ll have a<br />

couple but I ‘aven’t got any change at the moment, but I’m<br />

goin’ to the pub and I’ll leave the money there for you”, and<br />

off ‘e went with the crabs. Later on the ol’ fisherman comes<br />

in to the pub and asks: “Did anyone leave any money for<br />

me, Cyril?”. “No”, I says. “Not five bob?” ‘e asks again. “No,<br />

definitely not”, I says. So ‘e ays : “Well- bugger me – if I’da’<br />

known ‘e weren’t goin’ t’pay I’d a’ charged ‘im ten bob!”<br />

The book has chapters on the oldest, smallest, most<br />

remote, most unspoilt, most filmed and highest (No, it’s<br />

not in Flash) pubs. You can also read about the oldest<br />

landlady, record-breaking regulars and the pub with no<br />

name. And there’s a pub that’s been looked after by the<br />

same family for hundreds of years.<br />

And there’s lots more : you can read about the landlord<br />

who threw a member of Led Zeppelin out for using bad<br />

language, a loony landlord (Monster Raving Loony Party,<br />

that is)…and there’s even a pub in the <strong>Potteries</strong> <strong>CAMRA</strong><br />

area – the <strong>Bar</strong>ley Mow at Kirk Ireton (a lovely pub). (Not<br />

actually in the <strong>Potteries</strong> Branch Area, as it lies over the<br />

county border into Derbyshire. Mores the pity. Ed)<br />

Reading about these pubs makes you want to visit them –<br />

all of them!<br />

I had never heard of this book until several years ago,<br />

when I went into hospital for a serious operation and it was<br />

given to me by two of my children. It made me forget why<br />

I was there and instead to dream about visiting the pubs I<br />

was reading about.<br />

These are the Ten Commandments displayed on the bar<br />

wall of a pub in Ireland:<br />

1. A customer is the most important person in any<br />

business.<br />

2. A customer is not dependent on us – we are dependent<br />

on him.<br />

3. A customer is not an interruption of our work. He is the<br />

purpose of it.<br />

4. A customer does us a favour when he calls – we are<br />

not doing him a favour by serving him.<br />

5. A customer is part of our business, not an outsider.<br />

6. A customer is not a cold statistic. – he is a flesh and<br />

blood human being with feelings and emotions like our<br />

own.<br />

7. A customer is not someone to argue or match wits with.<br />

8. A customer is one who brings us his wants – it is our<br />

job to fill those wants.<br />

9. A customer is deserving of the most courteous and<br />

attentive treatment we can give him.<br />

10. A customer is the life blood of this and every other<br />

business<br />

JSB<br />

SUMMER 2012 POTTERS BAR 17

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