7 MB - University of Toronto Magazine

All about Alumnitop photo: Courtesy of Bishari Films 2010, BoTTom photo: courtesy of Thomas Allen publishersCrimes Against WomenShelley Saywell explores so-called“honour killings” in her new filmThe girl wouldn’t wear the hijab; her father couldn’t bear thefeeling that he was losing control of her. A sensational murder.The cameras flash, the daily reporters meet their deadlines byfiling timely stories. But then they shift focus to the next day’sitem. Filmmaker Shelley Saywell (BA 1977 Woodsworth) hasmade a career of documenting what happens after the mainstreammedia moves on. For her celebrated 1997 film, Kim’s Story:The Road from Vietnam, she tracked down the girl shown runningnaked from a napalm attack in perhaps the most famous newsphotograph from the Vietnam War.Her latest film, In the Name of the Family, looks at so-calledhonour killings – including that of Aqsa Parvez, a MississaugaLearning toLet GoIn Marni Jackson’s newbook, Home Free: TheMyth of the Empty Nest(Thomas Allen Publishers),she contrasts her parents’ supportive but distantchild-rearing attitude with her own hands-onstyle. “The book explores how we went from thegeneration gap to this more fused kind of family,”she says. Speaking on the phone from herToronto home, Jackson recalls bumming aroundEurope in her 20s, even living in a cave inGreece with a boyfriend, and hardly ever touchingbase with her folks. However, when her adultson takes off on a hitchhiking tour of the AmericanSouthwest and Central America, she finds itemotionally difficult to be separated from him.Jackson’s publisher had asked her if shewanted to do a sequel to The Mother Zone, her1992 bestselling memoir about being an older firsttimemom. “I chuckled and said, ‘that’s hilarious,’because my son is now 24. But then I went, ‘waita minute, I’m still on the job here and he’s verymuch in my thoughts.’” She argues that theremust be some middle ground between excessivedetachment – as her mother lies dying, shelaments the emotional gap between the two – andexcessive involvement. “There’s more intimacynow [between parents and children] than therewas in my day, and that’s a good thing. But the jobis on the parental side – letting go.” – Alec Scottteen whose father and brother were recently convicted in herdeath. Saywell convinced an extraordinary variety of people totalk to her for this film, the winner of the Best Canadian Featureat this year’s Hot Docs festival. The interviews lend colour andnuance to the stories we’ve read about in black and white. Wehear the disturbing tale of a taxi-driving fatherwho follows his daughter everywhere in hiscar to see what she’s wearing and who herfriends are; we watch a mother talking andweeping near the graves of her two teenageddaughters, killed by her longtime husbandand their father.The film has no narrator; rather, the storyis told primarily through the girls who areliving this dual existence. It profiles theirextraordinary courage as they struggle tofind a way to participate fully in the ritualsof North American teen life, without utterlydisappointing the families they love. Thestory of a brother and sister, both Afghanimmigrants to the U.S., illustrates howintractable the problem can be. The brotherstabbed his sister 11 times – because she hadthe gall to suggest she wanted to move to New York for a summerjob, “without permission.” He speaks from behind barsat Attica, and is unrepentant: “She destroyed my family. If shedid listen to me, I wouldn’t be here.” The sister who somehowsurvived the multiple stabbings, tells her chilling accountcalmly. “He is stabbing me, and saying, ‘I am Muslim, I amgoing to kill you.’ And I am thinking, ‘Islam does not allowpeople to hurt an ant, how could you kill your own sister?’”– Alec ScottIn the Name of the Family will premiere soon on CTV.Visit www.magazine.utoronto.ca for an air date.autumn 2010 47