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Movies‘The Tourist’by Ryan Hillmovies@thecharlotteweekly.comOn paper, “The Tourist” should bea sure-fire blockbuster. The film featurestwo of the biggest movie stars onthe planet, Johnny Depp and AngelinaJolie, a lush, beautiful setting in Veniceand a plot that promises twists andturns at every corner. So, what exactlywent wrong?Depp stars as Frank Tupelo, a Wisconsinmath teacher who meets thesultry, gorgeous Elise (Jolie) on a train.The two strike up a conversation, andthings seem to be going aces for Frank.What he doesn’t realize, though, isElise has chosen Frank because of hisresemblance to her boyfriend, AlexanderPierce, a mysterious man onthe run for stealing more than $2 billionfrom a gangster. Soon everyoneseems to think that Frank is Pierce,from Scotland Yard to the local Venicepolice and even the gangster Piercestole from. With this case of mistakenidentity, the chase is on.But there really isn’t much of a chaseor anything else for that matter. DirectorFlorian Henckel von Donnersmarckspends most of the movie takingin either the sights of Venice withextended crane shots or the film’s starssitting in various spots around the city,trying to make them look like a classicmovie couple. Sadly, it takes more thanclever lighting and pretty locations tomake Depp and Jolie a classic couple àla Cary Grant and Grace Kelly or evenSteve Carrell and Tina Fey from thisyear’s “Date Night.”Von Donnersmarck, who won aBest Foreign Language Film Oscar for2006’s “The Lives of Others,” refusesto put any kind of stylistic stamp on thefilm, instead opting for a light, breezyfeel that goes in one ear and right outthe other. Think of this film as a poorman’s version of Steven Soderbergh’s“Ocean’s Twelve,” itself a mediocreromp through Europe, albeit with afew twists and turns.Any film as light and breezy as “TheTourist” must have something to hangits hat on, or else it will float away intoobscurity. You could use chemistry sohot it could start a fire, snappy dialogue,action that leaves you on theGrade: HHout of 4MPAA Rating: PG-13 for violenceand brief strong languageCast: Johnny Depp, Angelina Jolie, TimothyDalton, Paul Bettany, Steven BerkoffGenre: Drama/ThrillerStudio: Columbia Picturesedge of your seat or a plot that keepsyou guessing until the end, regardlessof its complexity.Unfortunately, the chemistry iskilled by a toned down Depp tryingto act uncool – which, as it turnsout, is impossible for him – makingElise’s attraction to his character thatmuch more baffling. This is a beautifulwoman of intrigue and means.What the heck is she doing with someschlubby math teacher in need of ahaircut?The dialogue is run-of-the-mill,thanks to Depp’s wimpy Frank and asupporting cast of clichéd characters,Angelina Jolie (left) and Johnny Deppled by Paul Bettany as a Scotland Yardinspector who’ll stop at nothing to gethis man, a character rarely seen inprevious films. The action is slow andtedious, just like the rest of the movie,and the plot is about 20 twists short ofbeing worthy of the talent involved.Under normal circumstances, thecombination of Depp’s cool and Jolie’ssultriness should be enough to makeany movie theater spontaneously combustinto flames, and one day they maymake a film together that does justthat. In the meantime, they’re playingsecond fiddle to 2010’s best on-screencouple: Steve Carell and Tina Fey. q“JOLIE AND DEPP SIZZLE!!”Mosé Persico, CTV, MONTREAL“‘THE FIGHTER’ IS ‘ROCKY’ PLUS‘THE BLIND SIDE’ PLUS ‘THE DEPARTED’ BUTIT’S MORE SATISFYING THAN ANY OF THEM.”RICHARD CORLISS“THRILLINGENTERTAINMENT!!”.Mosé Persico, CTV, MONTREALA FLORIAN HENCKEL VON DONNERSMARCK FILMGK FILMS AND COLUMBIA PICTURES PRESENT IN ASSOCIATION WITH SPYGLASS ENTERTAINMENT A GK FILMS AND BIRNBAUM/BARBER PRODUCTION IN ASSOCIATION WITH STUDIOCANALCASTINGMUSICJOHNNY DEPP ANGELINA JOLIE “THE TOURIST” PAUL BETTANY TIMOTHY DALTON STEVEN BERKOFF RUFUS SEWELL CHRISTIAN DE SICA BY SUSIE FIGGIS BY JAMES NEWTON HOWARDCOSTUMEPRODUCTIONDIRECTOR OFEXECUTIVEDESIGNER COLLEEN ATWOOD EDITORS JOE HUTSHING, A.C.E. PATRICIA ROMMEL DESIGNER JON HUTMAN PHOTOGRAPHY JOHN SEALE, ASC, ACS PRODUCERSLLOYD PHILLIPS BAHMAN NARAGHI OLIVIER COURSON RON HALPERNPRODUCED BY GRAHAM KING TIM HEADINGTON ROGER BIRNBAUM GARY BARBER JONATHAN GLICKMAN SCREENPLAY BY FLORIAN HENCKEL VON DONNERSMARCK AND CHRISTOPHER MCQUARRIE AND JULIAN FELLOWESDIRECTED BY FLORIAN HENCKEL VON DONNERSMARCKCHECK LOCAL LISTINGS FOR THEATERS AND SHOWTIMESPage 24 • Dec. 17-23, 2010 • South Charlotte WeeklySTARTS FRIDAY, DECEMBER 17AT THEATRES EVERYWHERECHECK DIRECTORIES FOR THEATRES AND SHOWTIMES SPECIAL ENGAGEMENT - NO PASSES OR DISCOUNT TICKETS ACCEPTEDwww.thecharlotteweekly.com