Srila Prabhupada In My Life - ebooks - ISKCON desire tree

www.bcswami.comultimate goal of life is to achieve liberation by getting out of this material nature and I didnot have any idea about the spiritual destination. I had a deep conviction that I would finda spiritual master and he would let me know what that goal was and how to enter there.However all those so-called saintly people I met, no one could give me any acceptableinformation about that goal rather they appeared to be like unscrupulous pretenders organja-smoking escapists. That I think was the most difficult phase of my life. I was all setto take to spiritual life but I did not know how to enter there nor there was anyone whocould help me in my endeavor. Disappointed I went back to Calcutta, to my home, whereI actually did not belong anymore.This search for a guru went on for about a year in vain. Although the ISKCON templewas not too far away from my home and many a times I went past that temple but it neveroccurred to me that that was the place where I would find my guru and find the ultimategoal of my life. Eventually one day through a friend of mine, Sarvabhavana Prabhu, whoalready joined ISKCON in Germany I received the Nectar of Devotion. And as I wentback home and started to read it, from the very first page it occurred to me that this waswhat I was looking for. Understanding about God became so clear, actually for the firsttime I realized that God is a person, He is Krishna. Everything Srila Prabhupada saidbecame so clear and made so much sense. I could not stop reading that book until I fellasleep. Next morning when I woke up I picked up the book and continued to read it. Ithink I read the book throughout the day and at night I had a beautiful dream. I saw SrilaPrabhupada. He was sitting on a throne. Those days I didn’t know what a Vyasasana was,therefore it looked more like a throne. And there was a brilliant light around SrilaPrabhupada. I didn’t ask him anything, I just offered my obeisances. My heart becamefilled with an indescribable joy that finally I found my guru, I found my spiritual master.All this while I was hoping that somehow my spiritual master would come and pick meup, now he has come. I do not know whether he would accept me, but I was prepared tooffer myself to him unconditionally. I read the book continuously for a few days. I thinkit took me about three days to complete the Nectar of Devotion. Those days I was notdoing anything so I had all the time in this world and I just read Nectar of Devotion.Many times I felt that I was not understanding anything and that everything waspractically flying over my head, but still I could not stop reading it. And after I completedthe book it became clear in my mind that I was going to surrender myself to SrilaPrabhupada. I went to the Calcutta temple and inquired where Srila Prabhupada was. AndI was informed that Srila Prabhupada was in America that time. So I decided that I wouldwait till Srila Prabhupada came back to India and until then I would visit different placeswhere Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu performed His pastimes.And thinking that, the first place I went too was Mayapur. I arrived there in the eveningand the devotees where extremely friendly. Mayapur used to be quite different thosedays; there was hardly anything around here. I remember when I came across the riverJalangi I found that there were some 2 or 3 teashops and they didn’t have any electricallight. They had just some kerosene lamps burning and one or two rikshas there. And Itook a riksha and came to Mayapur.www.iskcondesiretree.com